Young Writers Society

So, I don't know exactly who the Lone Wolf is. Right now I'm thinking communism because lots of people are scared of communism. Whoever it is, maybe you could add a little symbol or something (eg for communism, a hammer and sickle scar across its shoulder).

Anyway,

The last two lines

Your fear was becoming the wolf,
not treating wolves and dogs as kin.

Okay! So first of all I have to say that I read this poem like three times and am still not confident that I understand it. I also acknowledge that in English classes we usually learn how we're supposed to interpret poems and symbols and figure out what they mean, so somehow that cryptic type of poem gets set as a standard and we think we can do the same, just leaving only wisps of hints for our readers. But obviously if I don't understand your poem, I can't love it or connect to it.

SO, all I can do right now is tell you what I think it's about and why. You can then use that to judge whether your words got your message across the way you wanted, etc.

I hope these thoughts will be helpful to you!

There's obviously a conflict between two parts of one person, which comes across at first as the mind v. the brain. I've already got a problem because I'm not sure what kind of distinction the poem is trying to draw between the word "mind" and the word "brain" in relation to a human's value, since generally brain is just an organ and it doesn't really matter to how a person sees themselves.

Then we've got another conflict, which is a wolf howling at the moon. Maybe this is conflict between a person and their wild side? But then you tagged this poem as politics and the title is about democracy, so what does a wolf represent in terms of that? I get lost again.

Mmm, with the mention of the sky that became your all and took his away, I get a glimmer of like immigration? Like there are wolves and dogs -- you mention in the poem description that dogs came from wolves, so I'm thinking maybe there's some kind of conflict between different races over land and owning the land? But I dunno why you'd be afraid of the wolf, unless it's like afraid of illegal immigrants taking over jobs? I feel way off base.

Um, and again I don't know what the pain is about the brain and the mind either.

I feel like the last stanza totally has the potential to be amazingly powerful, because the sentiment is there and set up, and it's a lovely comparison and juxtaposition BUT the problem is that I don't know what the wolf is or what the dog is, so I don't know what it's alluding to and completely lose any deeper meaning. ;_;


Yep, that's all I got.
If you have comments or questions, please PM or reply to this review.
Good luck and keep writing!

This review courtesy of

Hello, love! Aurora here with a quick review for you!

Ahem. I didn't understand really any of this poem until I read the last two lines. I still haven't decided whether of not I like it.

It's very metaphorical. I usually hate this type of poem because I simply cannot figure out what it means, unless I'm the one that wrote it...

I like the discussion of 'are the mind and brain the same'? I think a sister poem could be written with the 'heart and soul' and maybe a cat.

As for critiques, I don't know if a wolf is the animal you want. A lone wolf is usually one who has been thrown out of it's pack. The one that's dead weight and weak.
You also switch tenses a lot in this poem. Clear that up, and you'll be golden.
Keep writing, love.
Aurora