Hi there!
First off, I really like the first paragraph of this chapter. I like how we really get into your MC's mind. There aren't many stories I've read where this isn't done. The MC just stands there, and we're told that they're thinking about something, but it's not spelled out for us. Here we not only know that your MC is trying to figure out what to do, but was also know what he's thinking. It's always nice to see that because then we know what he's about to do. It's like we have an inside fix.
Now, I like how you leave this chapter on a cliff hanger, but I don't think it's the right cliffhanger. The part about your MC getting shot in the leg would've probably been the best place to stop. Think about it; we'd be here wondering what exactly happened and if your MC survived. You take away that mystery by adding in the ending there where he wakes up. And I think the part where he wakes up is a great way to start out the next chapter. Just my thoughts on the ending.
I would like to praise you on your character development. You're only in the third chapter of this novel and you've given us a lot of information about your MC. I feel like I really know him and I can predict his actions and reactions to certain situations. I think it really helps that you're writing this in first person. That way we really get into your MC's head since he's the one telling the story.
Like I said in my previous review, I would like to see more description here. Find some ways to fit it into the next chapter, if you haven't finished it already. Like I've said, description and imagery is very important. I want to know what the setting looks like.
Another good chapter you've got here. I can't wait to read more! Let me know when you post the next chapter
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
Points: 3733
Reviews: 1417
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