I am walking in the land filled with those green, blooming and fresh grasses located at the midst of an unknown place. I can feel the lovely scent of the wind as it passes by me and get my hair flew in its sweet harmony. And as I look up the sky, the clouds are laughing, dancing, smiling and inviting me to join them. They looked to be very happy, seemed to be no worries at all and showed me the perfect definition of how good life really is. I want to climb up there and come with these cheerful clouds as they live their lives to the fullest and stay themselves in a very lively world, but something from afar caught my attention.
A little boy in black-and-yellow checkered shoes (tied by red shoelaces) who’s wearing his V-necked white shirt and blue shorts and who’s about three years of age is taking photographs of the different fantastic angles of that fabulous beauty of the paradise where the feet of ours are staying at that very moment. I get two chocolate kisses on my basket and face the direction where the boy can be found. I went under the tree where he is sitting and offer the chocolates I brought for him. While he is saying the magical words “Thank You” to me, which is as sweet and lovable as his smile, it’s enough for me to know the worth of chocolates to every kid like him. Kids and chocolates are quite similar, aren't they? Kids are sweet as chocolates and chocolates are smile-and-energy-generators for everyone as what kids are doing with everybody. What a nice thing about these two, right? They are connected in some way. Wonderful!
Above all the extraordinary things I saw and felt as I glanced and stepped on this splendid place, what caught my attention the most is the little boy just taking photographs on the other side and quietly doing what interests him. A simple chocolate made him even more brilliant as a child, the gift of God as he let me be shown by those cute little smile. Kids captured the heart of every people and can capture even the happiness everyone can possess. Just like those photographs! How good their quality may, what the image it may form and how colorful may it is – the beauty is still captured by the photographer who take it all the way. Everyone’s journey is of how they will capture it. And better aim the lens into the heart, tracking the way going to happiness so we can capture the best angles for our journey and develop higher quality of life.
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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
The Messenger Knight here to review for the KotGR.
May I say that your first paragraph is one of the best, most eye-catching I've ever read. Those are the signs of a good writer. It looks like Dreamy caught most of your errors, but I think she missed this one.
May I show you how I would re-phrase it? "and my hair was caught up in its sweet harmony."
Get my hair flew sounds off to me. But that isn't a big problem so don't feel bad about it.
Let me say I loved the similarities you pointed out between the kid and chocolate. Now, Dreamy caught all the other small, small errors I saw. No big ones in this essay. It was lovely in every sense of the word. I have to agree that they were the most beautiful lines I've read today.
Keep it up!
Hey Rachel, look what you have done to me? I can't stop smiling! This was really a very good essay. You are a very good philosopher umm, a life-sayer (that's what I'm gonna call you from on
) You have this beautiful way of saying about the beautiful things. I liked your description a lot. 'Capture' was indeed a very good title and you had the perfect way but what really spoiled it was,let me just point it out.
They looked to be very happy, seemed to be no worries at all and showed me the perfect
taking photographs of the different fantastic angles of that fabulous beauty of the paradise where the feet of ours are staying at that very moment.
I get two chocolate kisses on my basket and face the direction where the boy can be found. I went under the tree where he is sitting and offer the chocolates I brought for him.
While he is saying the magical words “Thank You” to me, which is as sweet and lovable as his smile, it’s enough for me to know the worth of chocolates to every kid like him.
is the little boy just taking photographs on the other side and quietly doing what interests him.
photographer who take
better aim the lens into the heart, tracking the way going to happiness so we can capture the best angles for our journey and develop higher quality of life. 
Spoiler
"Looked to be" implies that they are pretending,so change it to "They looked very happy".And add "it". "It seemed to be no worries at all..."
Liked when you mentioned "his V-necked jacket" it was like you were so sure about that it, which was cute.
The below mentioned where things that was really confusing.
Spoiler
Taking photographs in different angles or in fantastic angels, I don't think both using both is a very good idea.
Spoiler
Spoiler
It's "said" not "is" "which was as sweet as his lovable smile" It's " 'that' was enough for..."
Spoiler
It's "was" in the beginning "photographs of the other side...."
Spoiler
It's "takes"
Spoiler
I guess these where the most beautiful lines I've read on this whole day, this also made your essay more beautiful and lovable.
Keep writing!!!
Cheers!!!