If you take from me
My identity,
It will never change
Who you are to me.
You will always be
One who claims is me,
And you'll never change
this reality.
You were never me.
Will you never see?
I would never stoop
down to your degree.
If I say you're me,
I will not be free,
You could never change
What's inside of me.
(Chorus:)
I'll Face Myself,
Brace myself,
Never looking back, and
I'll fight to see the dawn
of the coming day...
I'll pace myself,
Race myself,
Never giving in, and
I'll fight so I can show that I'm here to stay...
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before i start the review i wanna say that i realy liked your song its expressive and what most liked is the short sentences because thats the way i like to write tooo..
so for the changes ....
If I say you're me,
I will not be free,
You could never change
What's inside of me ... to
If I said you're me,
I'll not be free,
You could never change
What's inside of me
for this part i think you should separate the last sentence ..
I'll pace myself,
Race myself,
Never giving in, and
I'll fight so I can show that I'm here to stay...
to...
I'll pace myself,
Race myself,
Never give up , and
I'll fight ....
and say here i'll stay...
Hey!!!This is me and I'll be reviewing this really flowing song.
So, keep on writing and enjoy it!!
Positive: The lyrics are really flowing and it has a lovely rhythm. It gives a positive message about the importance of the identity and the marvel of being unique.
Negative: In my opinion this song ought to be longer. I would also try to expand the topic a bit since it becomes boring after a while. The song felt a bit empty thus I recommend to give more meaning to the song by evolving your point better and expanding around it. Adding senses could also help to make the song more interesting. The chorus is there to be repeated. To enable this as said before the song must be longer.
Overall: This was a good effort on the whole
Hello! Knight Cailey here with a review on this lovely review day.
First of all, I must say that I really enjoyed the quick rhythm of this piece. It was very singsongy and easy to read.
However, it felt a tiny bit empty. I mean, I know what you meant to say, and you said it, but you didn't give any more. I don't really understand what the point of this was. After reading it the first time, all I got was the singsong tune, and not the meaning.
So I read it again, and got more, but I still feel like this is something that won't stick in my mind for very long. One way to change that is to add more detail and imagery.
Or maybe add another stanza with a "so what" telling why you wrote this and why it matters.
I did like this, though, especially the chorus, which I felt like was a lot more full than the beginning part. Keep on writing and let me know if you have any questions or comments.
Greetings and happy Review Day!
Okay, so nice song, yes. Very nice. One thing I do not like is the rhythm. I felt the rhymes were forced, y'know? Not every song has to have a distinct rhyme scheme, as you'll see in many of your favorite songs. Some don't even rhyme at all, and this is perfectly okay! It's better than forcing the rhymes out, because then the song sounds flawed and the flow is broken at certain intervals.
One major suggestion is format. Song lyrics are seperated into verses. Consider doing this so the lyrics are easier to read. Another suggestion is to remove the ellipses at the end.
Lowercase that F.
Besides those nitpicks, you have a clear message in your song. It was nice to read, besides the shortness of each line.
For Team Blue,
~Iggy