z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Key of Autus, Chap. 5-6

by ajruby12


Chapter 5

"All ranks move forward!" The Quetwon captain shouted impatiently. Gabe watched the attempted organization in the army and chuckled quietly.

"They're just bumbling fools who've never met true warriors before!" He sounded so confident to Faith, who was still shaking. She glanced back at Micah, who was near the back, an arrow on his bow. Micah noticed her gaze and tipped a nod to her, smiling reassuringly. Faith then turned her scared eyes to Josh, who had picked up a long sword and was swinging it about, testing the balance of the weapon. Faith clamped her jaw and set her eyes on the rows of Quetwons who lined the slope in front of them.

"Everyone get ready." Gabe said softly, looking back at the tiny group. "We have one shot at this, so fight as best as you can. This is for Faith, Autus and Burnamor. Now, Micah! Loose arrows at their front ranks as quickly as you can. Josh, keep the right side from encircling us. Faith, you stay with Ralni at all times. Hunter and Mitch!" The two giants looked at him, their eyes narrowing. "Just do your thing." Gabe stated quickly, then drew his sword.

"For Burnamor!!" The group rushes forward. Faith's heart leapt in her chest as she saw the long spears of the front line. But she was too excited to think about that! She was in a battle! She saw a tall man among the 2nd line sigh and crumble to the ground, pierced by an arrow. Another arrow whizzed by, striking the younger looking boy in front of Faith. They were a hundred feet away, then 50. Faith raised both daggers, a yell ripping out of her throat.

"Burnamor!!!" Then she was in the midst of the battle, her eyes red-tinted. She slashed and kicked at any blades, spears and arms that came close. She could faintly hear Ralni yelling, but couldn't hear clearly enough. A sharp whistle rent the air and as Faith instinctively turned her face to look, a spear haft crashed against her jaw, knocking her down. Josh saw Faith crumple and with a single leap, he vaulted over the line of creatures, landing beside the fallen girl. He cut down the Quetwons that were trying to pull Faith away and fought off the jabbing blades. But they soon began to overwhelm the single warrior, his arms already slashed and bleeding. Josh yelled for help, but none of the others could reach him in time. Gabe and Ralni were encircled, Micah was too far away to notice what was happening and Hunter and Mitch were no where to be seen. Josh soon began to flag, hurried schemes rushing through his mind but none seemed to work. He didn't notice a spear stabbing towards his back and it bit deep into his skin. He whirled around to take care of the attacker, but another grazed his other side. He knew he had precious little time, but he stood it off bravely. But to no avail... He crumpled to the ground from exhaustion, the delighted creatures swarming over his half-dead body, seizing the still senseless girl. But they failed to notice a pounding in the earth till it was too late. One looked up and shrieked in terror as it caught sight of Hunter and Mitch, bowling the Quetwons aside like straw in the wind. Hunter reached Faith first and seized the Quetwons, throwing their bodies through the air. Hunter tossed Faith over his shoulder and bowled through the tightly packed army, making a clear path for Mitch, who held Josh like a sack of potatoes, to follow. Gabe and Ralni watched the two giants, dozens of dead and wounded Quetwons lying off to the side of them. Micah was breathing heavily and bent over, glancing at the arrow-filled Quetwons who lay face down in the dirt. Mitch tossed the half-conscious Josh on the ground, while Hunter was more careful with Faith, placing her down next to Gabe. The young boy stroke her head, looking at her pale, emotionless face and at the fine scar that ran along her face. She soon began to stir and Gabe lifted her up to a half-sitting position. Her eyes flickered open and she looked at Ralni, who was watching her with worry plastered across her face.

"I'm fine.." Faith said quietly and a collective relieved sigh arose from the people gathered around her. Gabe smiled and gave her hand a quick squeeze, pulling her up. She looked at him.

"Gabe, can we talk for a moment? Alone?" He nodded and they moved a little ways away from the group. Faith stopped and looked up at him. "Do you love me?" He was slightly startled but nodded.

"Of course I do!"

"No, do you really?? Outside of just protecting me.." Her eyes looked damp as her eyes gazed into his. He took a deep breath.

"I've loved you ever since I caught sight of you, Faithy. But.. I'm afraid this can't go on.. I've been reassigned." He said quietly, his voice shaking. Faith couldn't control a sob and hugged him tight.

"I'm sorry we didn't have any time to really get to know each other.." Gabe went on.

"I wish we had more time. But I'm afraid I have to go. Josh and Micah will take care of you.. But Christian's coming with me." He closed his arms tight about her.

"I think you need to talk to Ralni." He motioned for her to go. As Faith slowly walked towards the camp, she heard Gabe's voice.

"Don't look back." Faith clamped her jaw and shut out the picture of Gabe from her mind. She didn't want to look back, but she couldn't help it. She glanced quickly over her shoulder and saw Gabe and Christian walking off slowly towards the empty desert. She took a long, deep breath and shut her eyes.

"I will do this! I'll do it for Gabe and for Burnamor." She looked at Ralni, who beckoned for her to hurry. As Faith drew nearer, she saw the grim expression on Ralni's face.

"What is it?" Faith asked, her eyes searching the woman's face. Ralni grabbed Faith's arm.

"You need to listen up.. No, don't say anything. Just listen!" Ralni took a deep breath, then continued in a hushed tone.

"I know you're wondering why Mitch kidnapped you in the first place.. Faith.. Mitch and Hunter have been sent by an entirely different Legion to either kidnap you or kill you, so no one else could get the Key. There were originally 4 men banished from Burnamor but the other two were an unexpected variable, so they were slain." She paused again, her eyes looking sadly into Faith's.

"There was one among those left in Burnamor who was a spy for this Legion. He saw you disappear and immediately contacted his leaders.. That's how Mitch found you. And that's why he and Hunter saved you from the Quetwons, who were also unexpected... But now Mitch and Hunter are trying to get help from the Legion in order to capture you!" "Gabe's already gone.." Faith's eyes widened, her stomach feeling sick. Ralni bit her lip.

"And I haven't seen Micah or Josh since the fight.. I think it's just you and me, miss.." Faith wandered a little ways off and sat down near a pool of water. She looked at herself and began to cry, her tears dripping into the pool.

"This just can't be happening. Why me??" She curled up in a ball and watched as the last rays of the sun shone over the distant sand.

Chapter 6

When she woke, it was early morning. Faith lifted her head and heard Ralni shout for her to get over to the camp. As Faith reached there, Ralni shoved a bowl of breakfast stew over to the girl. Faith noticed she did it harshly and didn't even pay any attention to Faith. Ralni began to eat hastily but something just didn't feel right to Faith. Something about Ralni's face. "I'll be right back.." Faith said softly. "We need to get moving!" Ralni snapped, tossing the empty bowl into the knapsack, which she had finished in just seconds.

"Please.." Faith begged.

"I think I'm going to throw up.." She lied, but Ralni scrunched her face up and allowed her to go. Faith reached the pool and glanced quickly behind her. To her horror, she saw Ralni loading a plagon gun and glancing up at Faith. Her intent was all too clear.. Faith bolted immediately, her feet taking a will of their own. But Ralni was soon close behind, a snarl on her lips as she raised the weapon. Faith chanced a glance behind and saw another thing that lent speed to her feet. No longer did Ralni look like a woman! Her form flattened and the skin seemed to disappear into her bones. Her face also seemed to melt away into the metal which now protruded. What was left was a silver robotic skeleton, which was still hissing and screeching. Faith ran all the harder, but she could feel the pursuer closing in. Before the robot could fire the stunning weapon, Faith tripped and tumbled headlong into a dark hole, which clamped shut behind her, leaving her in pitch-blackness. She could hear the robot clanking about on the surface, yelling and screeching unintelligible words, but it eventually gave up and went away. Everything was quiet for a time as Faith slowed her breathing, taking long, deep breathes in an attempt to slow her pounding heart.

"What.. just.. happened?" She gasped, her breath still coming in short spurts. She lifted her head and rubbed her eyes, peering into the darkness. What had happened? Why was Ralni a robot? Was she one the whole time? Faith dropped her head into her hands, running her hands over the soft substance that had caught her as she fell, her mind racing furiously. Faith jumped as a cool hand rested on her shoulder. She spun around and saw the mourning girl standing there, her face pale and her dark eyes wide. The girl spoke softly.

"You don't have time to worry. Those robots will be swarmed over this place and will soon find a way in. You must get to Autus at all costs!" Faith spluttered.

"But I can't leave.." The girl, surprisingly strong for her young appearance, shook Faith.

"Your friend's lives are at stake here, as well as the rest of the galaxy! Stop fooling about and just follow me! We can talk later." Faith scurried behind the fast-paced girl, marveling at the change that had happened to the once woeful stalker. But as they went, Faith couldn't help wondering if this girl was also a robot. There was no escape now, however. The girl's hands were clamped tight around Faith's wrist. The tunnels seemed to wind and bend like a snake into complicated patterns behind them. Soon they had taken so many turns that Faith marveled how this girl knew her way.

"I had to find my way here in the pitch dark and half-starved numerous times." The girl cut in before Faith could say anything. Faith bit her lip and didn't make any noise for a time. Finally, they rounded a bend and Faith saw a light at the end of the tunnel, a fresh breeze floating from it. But the girl grabbed Faith's wrist and yanked her into a side chamber, which was musty and damp. The iron door shut behind them and Faith blinked in the faint light from torches located sparsely on the walls. A man was sitting on a rough wooden chair against the wall, carving a small figurine. He glanced up at Faith and put the knife and wooden piece aside, standing up and watching her with squinted eyes.

"So.. You're the person I've been sent half across the galaxy to protect." He scoffed.

"I heard about the other "protection group" you had. Hopefully you don't get us killed in the bargain." He motioned to the girl, allowing her to speak.

"We're going to be traveling with you to Autus. Maybe we'll go in there with you, maybe not. But our necks are on the line to get you there safely, so don't make a hassle about it." Faith processed all this hastily.

"So, we're going to Autus now?" She asked. The girl scoffed.

"Unless you want to be overrun by those robots.. They already got the other two who were left to protect you, as well as that snappy woman.." "Ralni?? So that robot was just a copy of her? Is she safe?" Faith squeaked, her voice strained. The girl glanced at the man, who nodded. She took a deep breath.

"We found the body of a young boy left behind.. We didn't hear of them taking any other young men." Faith's composure crumbled instantly, her face breaking out in tears.

"Kath, go get the canteen.." The man began but the girl cut his off, growling.

"If you want your skin left on your body, don't call me that.. It's Kate, ok??" He brushed the comment off, looking away from the girl at the still sobbing Faith.

"Now, c'mon miss.. Don't go getting yourself in a tizzy over this. It had to have happened sometime.." She couldn't stop crying, but managed to gasp out.

"But it.. Was all my... fault.." Kate crept up then and tapped the man's shoulder.

"Get out of here, Zack.. Go get some supplies or something." Zack stood up and made a grimace at the girl, then stomped off towards the open tunnel. Kate put an arm around Faith, putting the canteen in front of the quivering girl.

"Here.. Drink this." Faith shook her head. Kate just shrugged and placed the canteen down, heading to a rough-hewn shelf carved into the rock.

"Suit yourself, miss.." Faith hugged her legs tightly, her eyes squeezed shut, trying to block out reality itself. Everything seemed too unreal to be true! But there was nothing to stop the loss and pain in her heart. She had lost everything! Her love, her friends.. Her family was either dead or captured by the Quetwons. And still she had to go to Autus, the guilty conscience of those who tried to protect her weighing on her mind. "How many more have to die?" She breathed softly, her voice muffled. The angry floods once again ran down her already stained face. Faith cried herself to sleep, Kate watching her with concern written in her face. "It should be forbidden, what they're putting her through.." The girl sighed and closed her eyes, leaning against the cold stone wall.

"Sleep well, miss.." She whispered.


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Sat Sep 28, 2013 1:55 am
dragonfphoenix wrote a review...



Knight Dragon, here to review! (No, it's not quite review day, but I'm following this series and I'm not losing a Green Room review to Review Day chaos).

Technical:
"She saw a tall man among the 2nd line sigh and crumble to the ground", the 2nd is better written out. The "2nd" just sticks out otherwise.

"They were a hundred feet away, then 50." For consistency's sake, spell out 50.

"Faith ran all the harder" could be much more simply said "Faith ran harder."

"Those robots will be swarmed over this place..." could be better said "Those robots will be swarming all over..."

Formatting:
"You don't have time to worry. Those robots will be swarmed over this place and will soon find a way in. You must get to Autus at all costs!" Faith spluttered.

"But I can't leave.." The girl, surprisingly strong for her young appearance, shook Faith.
The way it is now, it looks like Faith says that first line.

Comment on Chpt. 5: why was Gabe reassigned? And how did he know that? Where'd the information come from?

Comment on Chpt. 6: you never make it clear why Faith dissolves into tears beyond the fact that she's lost everyone. Is that who she thinks the guy is that the pair in the cavern are talking about?

Hope this helps!




ajruby12 says...


Gr, the formatting is so frustrating.. :/
Gabe was assigned to be Faith's bodyguard in the beginning but now that Faith seemed to be protected by Ralni and the other two boys, he was being reassigned somewhere else. I'm planning to add more detail about that in the future and work on that aggravating formatting.



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Sat Sep 28, 2013 1:43 am
PeanutPhoebe wrote a review...



Once again, I'm impressed!! It just keeps getting more amazing!! Ok, the formatting seems much better, but it still needs a little work. The paragraphs should be split up smaller. One thing I noticed, is that when Gabe was giving orders before the battle he never mentioned Christian, nor is he mentioned during it. But later, Gabe tells Faith that he's taking Christian with him. A little confusing. Also, you don't explain what happens to Ralni and everybody else over night. I'm sure that will be answered in later chapters, tho. I like the flow of everything, as well as the descriptions. Great work, and keep writing!!




ajruby12 says...


Christian was there somewhere, but unthought details about where he was would just clog up the action point. And yeah, that aggravating format is at it again.. :/



PeanutPhoebe says...


I see, it just seemed strange that you mention everyone else, but not him...




We are all broken. That's how the light gets in.
— Ernest Hemingway