The Clock

This is a beautiful concept. I've never thought of it this way before - personifying time and making it take offence at the clock's ticking.

I think you ought to change the first line though. It rings a bit odd to my ears.

"Time stopped still" has an air of finality to it, and would be more apt for the end of a poem rather than the begining.

Also, I believe "To try TO measure me" would be more fitting. After all, nobody can truly measure time. The clock, as you have said is a mere attempt to do so. The use of "and" seems to imply that the attempt is successful.

Hello there fellow Rouge! Cheetah here for your review!

This is a pretty awesome concept! I can imagine how Time would think a clock is some cheap rip-off of his worth, but thanks for making me think a bit deeper about that!

Something else I thought was cool, whether purposeful or not, is when Time stopped and looked at the clock and the clock kept ticking. If Time really did stop, he probably expected the clock to stop as well, but it didn't. This seems to have made Time even more mad. I just thought that bit was cool.

I really liked this one, so thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!!

Knight Dragon, here to review on this glorious Review Day!

Technical first:
""Who do humans think they are?"
He asked.
"To try and measure me.""
The punctuation on that is a little rough. I'm going to put it into one line to show you what I mean.
" "Who do humans think they are?" he asked. "To try and measure me." " That reads really awkwardly because that's one whole question. Here's the proper punctuation.
" "Who do humans think they are," he asked, "to try and measure me?" "
Also, with your "to try and measure", it's actually supposed to be "to try TO measure".

I liked that you gave the link to the poem that inspired this one. I read that (and reviewed it) and had a better context and understanding of what you were going for. And having that background made your poem come alive and display things I wouldn't have picked up on if I hadn't read that poem first. So good job capturing the essence of your idea and amplifying the theme of another poem. Keep it up!

Hope this helps! Happy Review Day!

Hi!
feel free to correct me if my review is wrong )
So first,
"And stared at the clock"
For me, i think it should be "And I stared at the clock" because when i was reading i was wondering, who was staring at the clock?. This is based on the way i read it but if its like that then okay.
Then second,
"Who do humans think they are?"
I think, i just think that it should be "Who do you humans think you are?" or "What do you human think you are?". Honestly im not very sure if my grammar is even correct but this is just my opinion so feel free not to notice it or not.
Even though this is a short poem its good and i'm very curious to what the clock is thinking and why its offended.
Anyways, Keep up the good work!

As I reviewed that, so will I review this.
When you first read this, or at least the first two lines, they make absolutely no sense. Just read this out of context:

Time stopped still.

Whaaaaa-? But then you force yourself to read the rest and it's beautiful. I would include something before time stops still, because I was getting a weird picture of the first line being like, freeze-frame, and then the second line made no sense. Something like "Time was out on a walk one day, then spied the clock." That's horrible, I know, but it's better (in my opinion) than having a first line that could be interpreted many ways.

Also, one other thing bothered me, when it really shouldn't at all. You don't need to feel like you have to change this, but when you said "He asked" I felt like you should make it clear that he was asking no one in particular. When you just had "he asked" I was curious as to whom he was asking the question.

The rest of this was marvelous in the same way that the last line of that other poem was marvelous. It was short and sweet and to-the-point (oh gosh the last reviewer said exactly that! There must be a reason! ).

I really enjoyed this! Keep on Writing, azzie!
~Fortis

I actually really like this. Short and sweet and to the point . I just have to point out, though, in the line "To try and mesure me," the word mesure is actually spelt measure.

Also in the first line "Time stopped still" seems very awkward. Maybe you should try "time stood still" or just "time stopped" or something. Other than that, good