Oh gods!
Where's my iPod, I'm sure I left it here,
to hide it from my anger
over other anger.
Ah! There it is!
Now remind me again
how I got into a bet
to stay awake for fifty hours?
Oh well.
Eleven coffees does the trick.
Where was I?
Right!
This poem is fueled by
eleven cups of coffee
fifty hours sans sleep
and my ineptitude
to hype-down.
Anyway! Who wants to hear 'bout
my very long day?
No one?
Let's go then!
Monday:
Computer, nothing much.
Chores? All done!
Your workbook too?
Yes! No.
****. She'll want to check.
I'll do it tonight, stop
no later than
1am.
IT'S TOO HOT!
Let's YWS.
Ah darn!
The power's down!
Oh well, I'll read GoT.
6am.
No point sleeping.
I'll wait 'till Mum's gone,
Then I'll go computing.
8:50pm
Veer: "You'll crash in 12 hours max."
"You wanna bet?"
"It's on!"
Darn.
Well, I wasn't planning on
sleeping
anyway.
GoT is too good
and the Crew are all insane.
Just like me.
One
more
coffee?
Why not?
I'm not even tired.
"Bed time"
Yeah right.
No bed for me.
Sleep's for the weak.
I'll prove Veer wrong,
that's for sure.
Oh gods!
Where's my iPod, I'm sure I left it here!
Ah! There it is!
Now I can stay up all night.
Walk the dog at eight
And then go-
Wait!
Stop throwing socks at me!
Honestly.
Stupid brother.
Have a shower;
leave me be
to write a poem
fueled by
eleven cups of coffee
fifty hours sans sleep
and my inaptitude
to hype-down.
Guys,
stop telling me to sleep.
Seriously,
look:
no twitchy eye.
Iko,
close tumblr so
Nebbie
stops threatening
Kitz.
Awi,
doc please?
Monooooo,
I'm so not tired.
Look:
no twitchy eye.
Ohhh lemon ice-cream!
ANA,
WELL DONE ON YOUR NOVEL!
My typing problems are the
iPod's fault.
GUYS I LOVE YOU!
Hmmm.
More GoT?
I think so too.
This poem is over.
Maybe another will come,
who knows?
I'm only at 39 hours!
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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140,720 Literary Works • 673,677 Reviews
Oh. Wow.
) or a semicolon (;).
Remind me to never give you caffeine. Just a few things that I would like to point out.
Typically in poetry, the first letter of every line is capitalized.
Ex: I said this,
And she said that.
And there is always a form of separation between lines, such as a comma (,), a colon
Ex: I said this,
And she said that.
I said this;
And she said that. Etc.
Now, normally the next thing that I would do in a review would be to chew you out for grammar and spelling errors. But seeing as I already covered the grammar, and in this work the errors actually add character, and I can't find it in me to criticize them. It's all over the place, and once again I would go into chew out mode over this. But I can't, because it makes the poem.
My goodness, this was fantastic. I'm tempted to ask you to do it again.
Happy Writing!
HT
"Typically in poetry, the first letter of every line is capitalized.
) or a semicolon (;).
Ex: I said this,
And she said that.
And there is always a form of separation between lines, such as a comma (,), a colon
Ex: I said this,
And she said that.
I said this;
And she said that. Etc. "
Sorry if I am rude to say this, but I'm kind of passionate about this subject so...
One of the wonderful things about poetry is that it does not "typically" do anything. As long as it flows well and conveys what is needed - if it meets the needs of the individual poem - than it is acceptable. Punctuation and lack there of is a wonderful and sometimes overlooked tool for enhancing the atmosphere of a poem. That's all I wanted to say!
Oh shoot, I'm so sorry. I looked over what I wrote again and just now realized that I must have accidently deleted one of my paragraphs.
It was supposed to go on to say that this is simply something that I commonly see, that it was a stylistic choice of the writer, and that this choice is not for everyone. To each their own.
You weren't rude at all, and I should have double checked again before I posted my review. I apologize for that.
And I totally agree with you. Poetry does what poetry does.
Amazing. I am not kidding. I was genuinely enraptured. And I am not just saying this because you are awesome. It was legitimately entertaining. I mean if you wanted nit picks there are certainly things that would make it more poetic, but I just love the rawness of it.
<3 You genius.mately entertaining. I mean if you wante
An here I thought that I had written a load o junk...
Awkward because I just noticed I copied and pasted it twice.
hey auxiira!
your poem is fabulous. you have inserted- your entire betty feelings into this! quite good. you told us about your brother that gives kinda notorious touch to your stuff! i don't think so you have done any mistakes. albeit this is quite good stuff, very trendy.
now please change one thing in your stuff:
in your second stanza, you wrote:
[This poem is fueled by
eleven cups of coffee
fifty hours sans sleep
and my {ineptitude} concentrate on this word!
to hype-down.]
now where my mind started thinking that why u have chosen inaptitude in place of "ineptitude".
see this stanza for more clarity:
Wait!
Stop throwing socks at me!
Honestly.
Stupid brother.
Have a shower;
leave me be
to write a poem
fueled by
eleven cups of coffee
fifty hours sans sleep
and my {inaptitude}concentrate on this word!
to hype-down.
i just got this mistake only!
overall this stuff is too good! keep it up!
i give u one bourn-ville for your extra sweet stuff!
thanks for the review, rishabh!
thanks for the review, rishabh!
Alrighty then, so this is my punishment, aye?
Let's get started then.
Okay I'm just gonna read through this.
So gimme a sec.
Mhm.
Yup.
Aha.
Got it.
All done.
Now then, you have
a lota few mistakes here.This is quite obvious. You asked, "Wanna bet?"
That's quite rude if you ask me.
Called it.
You've said Veer already, it's getting bland.
Try a synonym, like that handsome fellow or that gorgeous hunk.
Don't make fun of your brother like that.
I don't think that's very healthy.
Yes, blame your iPod.
Doesn't everyone
And that's exactly where you should've stayed.
Anyway, the poem is a bit rough around, well, everywhere. You should really consider revising just about everything. As for any good point I see... heh.
You're welcome.
Pfff. I'm literally ROFLing here. You gorgeous hunk you
Damn right he is.
xD
I can't like thisss
The poem or the review?