Young Writers Society

These lyrics are kind of hard to understand. Maybe it's just me, though, since I don't read a lot of fancy metaphorical poetry.
This reminded me of "Carry on My Wayward Son", which is a really good song. Don't ask why I made that connection. I just feel it.
The commas are an issue. I'm presuming that they're where you pause when you actually sing the song, but I think line breaks would get that point across better in most cases.
Overall, good.

Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamsies!

Yes I am incredibly desperate So I am reviewing lyrics. I always find that difficult because I always have a need for a tune with it. Please excuse me if this review is short

I liked the whole idea of this song. The eagle is great because it has a lot of symbolism in it, being bold and free and high above, far away from whatever's below. I also like how this song is basically a call to the "eagle" for them to come down and see what it's like. Which is why I like the effect of the end, with the "I'll come down" fading into the background. It's almost like a response to the call. As I see it anyways ^^

I wasn't really sure I understood the first verse. "The dead are flying above me". Did you mean that they had to looker deeper to find what they're looking for? I didn't quite understand the essence of that beginning part. But It followed with something nice, which was being frightened of his (his just seems to fit to me :p) eyes.

The second verse was worded a little strangely with punctuation. I won't get into that because there may be some lyric rules I don't really understand properly... But I think they were nice, about how somehow the person was always avoided. Never proper contact.

Buuut I have to say my favourite thing was the chorus, because it showed that the "eagle" was trying, but needed time to find it's own feet beforehand. It's got a nice message in those lyrics. It almost seems like it could be about love, or finding something. But still it has a feel of freedom to it, or maybe that's just in the title!

Nice lyrics But I'd really like to see it with a tune! Did your band put it up on the internet anywhere? (I never knew you were in a band...)

Deanie x

Hi there! Noelle here to review as requested!

I know everyone has already commented on this line, but I'm going to echo them here.

higher than mind

Hello!

I think this song is a really cool one. I'm not sure because I haven't heard it yet, but I think the shortness of the chorus signifies a huge vocal work? Hmmmm. The verses are a little repetitive, but I think they still work, and the imagery you used is lovely. I agree with the previous comment about describing the genre so the reader will have a better idea of the song.

I think this is also very original. Great job on that.

Over all the lyrics are awesome. I just would like to know the genre as to have a better idea of the song, especially you put some instrumental, and that makes me curiouser.

Good luck and keep writing!

Hey Arc!

Shady here with a review for you this fine afternoon. c:

I'll admit, I don't review lyrics very often, but I listen to a good bit of music, so I decided to take a stab at this. From what I can tell, this'll be a lovely song, but it was a bit difficult to imagine. I mean, not only don't I know which genre this is from, I don't even know the tempo or the emotion behind it.

I think it would help if you put a note at the start saying how quickly this song will be played, as well as the mood that goes along with it. I mean, this could easily be metal-- but it could also be a soft, emo song. Drastically different. (I imagined it a softer song, but you never know. c:)

So, yeah, other than that, I don't have any suggestions for you. It looks like a lovely song, and I'd love to hear it if you record it somewhere. c:

Keep writing!

~Shady

Hello, I'm K to share my thoughts with you :3 I'll go step by step for this one, since it's a song.

First, "higher than mind." I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here. Then, "Can' you see? The dead are flying above me." I really, really like this line and think it will do well in a song.

Then, your chorus. "I’ll come down, when I’ve found/My own gravity/I’ll come down, when I’ve finally/Found my feet" I honestly have no idea how this is going to sound out loud. The rhyme scheme is just a little off to me, and I can't see it being sung. As for the content, I like it- especially for a chorus.

Your rhyme in verse two, mind/blind, works really well. I like how it sounds in my head. Then my last comment is, this is kind of short for a song. Granted, I don't know exactly how it's being sung or precisely how long the instrumental is, but even then it still seems short. That's just my personal opinion.

Overall though, I really liked it, and I'm curious about your band now! I hope you keep writing more ^.^