Hi guys! So these are some lyrics that were written with my band, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
~
Verse 1:
I wanted, you to be
An eagle flying high, higher than my mind
Can’t you see? The dead are flying above me
They’re frightened by your eyes
Stare and you might find me, find me
Chorus:
I’ll come down, when I’ve found
My own gravity
I’ll come down, when I’ve finally
Found my feet
Verse 2:
I wanted, you to be
An eagle flying high, higher than my mind
Learn to smile, well maybe if you weren’t so blind
You never look my way
You never seem to find me, find me
-Chorus x 2-
-Instrumental-
Chorus:
I’ll come down
I’ll come down
I’ll come down (repeat till end)
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These lyrics are kind of hard to understand. Maybe it's just me, though, since I don't read a lot of fancy metaphorical poetry.
This reminded me of "Carry on My Wayward Son", which is a really good song. Don't ask why I made that connection. I just feel it.
The commas are an issue. I'm presuming that they're where you pause when you actually sing the song, but I think line breaks would get that point across better in most cases.
Overall, good.
Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamsies!
So I am reviewing lyrics. I always find that difficult because I always have a need for a tune with it. Please excuse me if this review is short 
But I'd really like to see it with a tune! Did your band put it up on the internet anywhere? (I never knew you were in a band...)
Yes I am incredibly desperate
I liked the whole idea of this song. The eagle is great because it has a lot of symbolism in it, being bold and free and high above, far away from whatever's below. I also like how this song is basically a call to the "eagle" for them to come down and see what it's like. Which is why I like the effect of the end, with the "I'll come down" fading into the background. It's almost like a response to the call. As I see it anyways ^^
I wasn't really sure I understood the first verse. "The dead are flying above me". Did you mean that they had to looker deeper to find what they're looking for? I didn't quite understand the essence of that beginning part. But It followed with something nice, which was being frightened of his (his just seems to fit to me :p) eyes.
The second verse was worded a little strangely with punctuation. I won't get into that because there may be some lyric rules I don't really understand properly... But I think they were nice, about how somehow the person was always avoided. Never proper contact.
Buuut I have to say my favourite thing was the chorus, because it showed that the "eagle" was trying, but needed time to find it's own feet beforehand. It's got a nice message in those lyrics. It almost seems like it could be about love, or finding something. But still it has a feel of freedom to it, or maybe that's just in the title!
Nice lyrics
Deanie x
Hi there! Noelle here to review as requested!
I know everyone has already commented on this line, but I'm going to echo them here.
I don't think you actually meant what you wrote. If you did, it's a complicated line/metaphor/whatever that most of us don't understand. Maybe you meant to say instead "higher than you mind" or "higher than I mind". That would make much more sense and be easier for people to relate to.
I'm just going to comment on the lyrics in general because I don't want to go through your whole song and review it line for line. So here's what I have to say about this.
I think the overall idea of your song is nice. It's a well written song about someone who wants to fly away and just hover above all the issues and things going on in their lives. That's what I got out of this.
The image of the eagle is a great choice as well. Eagles are large birds who tend to stand out against other birds. They are also great birds of prey. If I were to truly analyze these lyrics (which it seems I am), I would have to say that the eagle is the dominating image in this song. He represents this person soaring high above the clouds, which would be all their troubles, and constantly watching the ground for prey and/or a place to land, hence the lines "I'll come down/when I've found/my gravity".
So that's my take on the lyrics. I may have put too much thought into them, but I enjoyed them. There's a lot that these lyrics mean to me. It's different to every person I'm sure. Thank you for sharing!
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
Hello!

I think this song is a really cool one. I'm not sure because I haven't heard it yet, but I think the shortness of the chorus signifies a huge vocal work? Hmmmm. The verses are a little repetitive, but I think they still work, and the imagery you used is lovely. I agree with the previous comment about describing the genre so the reader will have a better idea of the song.
I think this is also very original. Great job on that.
Over all the lyrics are awesome. I just would like to know the genre as to have a better idea of the song, especially you put some instrumental, and that makes me curiouser.
Good luck and keep writing!
Hey Arc!

Shady here with a review for you this fine afternoon. c:
I'll admit, I don't review lyrics very often, but I listen to a good bit of music, so I decided to take a stab at this. From what I can tell, this'll be a lovely song, but it was a bit difficult to imagine. I mean, not only don't I know which genre this is from, I don't even know the tempo or the emotion behind it.
I think it would help if you put a note at the start saying how quickly this song will be played, as well as the mood that goes along with it. I mean, this could easily be metal-- but it could also be a soft, emo song. Drastically different. (I imagined it a softer song, but you never know. c:)
So, yeah, other than that, I don't have any suggestions for you. It looks like a lovely song, and I'd love to hear it if you record it somewhere. c:
Keep writing!
~Shady
Hello, I'm K to share my thoughts with you :3 I'll go step by step for this one, since it's a song.
I hope you keep writing more ^.^
First, "higher than mind." I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here. Then, "Can' you see? The dead are flying above me." I really, really like this line and think it will do well in a song.
Then, your chorus. "I’ll come down, when I’ve found/My own gravity/I’ll come down, when I’ve finally/Found my feet" I honestly have no idea how this is going to sound out loud. The rhyme scheme is just a little off to me, and I can't see it being sung. As for the content, I like it- especially for a chorus.
Your rhyme in verse two, mind/blind, works really well. I like how it sounds in my head. Then my last comment is, this is kind of short for a song. Granted, I don't know exactly how it's being sung or precisely how long the instrumental is, but even then it still seems short. That's just my personal opinion.
Overall though, I really liked it, and I'm curious about your band now!