The Sixth Academy For Heroes-In-Training

Welcome to the Director's Cut of the Sixth Volume of The Academy For Heroes-In-Training. The footage you're about to see contains no computer graphic imaging, nor special effects. Please do not attempt to recreate the feats of heroism displayed herein.

Team A
1. Evatt Elric (Leader) - @Lumi
2. Raven Le Beau (Damage) - @kayfortnight
3. Terri Maximoff (Damage) - @Auxiira
4. Alexei Kosoj (Support) - @Holofernes
5.

Team B
1. Evoltrick (Leader) - @Tortwag
2. Spinacia Oleracea (Damage) - @chibibo
3. Mocchi Mog (Support) - @Nutty
4. Dyre (Support) - @AriaAdams
5.

Rules

Spoiler

1. Third Person
2. Past Tense
3. No backwards writing. That means that once someone has reached a point in time in their post, you may not go behind that point in time with your own post. This rule is only maleable in the beginning when introductions can be difficult without some overlap. This rule will split into two timelines when a team goes on a mission. There will be the mission story and the campus story. Memorize who your teammates are so you can keep this rule in tact.
4. This is a comedy. Do not tank it with your angst, or you'll be removed. Hilariously.

Profile Templates

Spoiler

Student

CodeSelect all

[b][u][size=150]Your Name Here[/size][/u][/b]

[b]About You[/b]
[i]Please answer a series of questions so we can all get to know you better. [/i]

[spoiler]
[b]Q:[/b] Do you identify as a male, a female, or something else?
[b]A:[/b] Simply choose your gender.

[b]Q:[/b] How old are you?
[b]A:[/b] 15-19

[b]Q:[/b] Which universe are you from?
[b]A:[/b] Place your comic book/video game/book/TV show/combination thereof here.

[b]Q:[/b] Which superhero is your parent or ancestor? Are there more than one?
[b]A:[/b]

[b]Q:[/b] Tell us about your social skills. How well do you get along with others?
[b]A:[/b]

[b]Q:[/b] During your time at The Academy, who have become your best friends? Your worst enemies?
[b]A:[/b]

[b]Q:[/b] If you had a choice between love, power, or helping others, which would you choose?
[b]A:[/b]

[b]Q:[/b] Are you excited to be graduating this year from the Academy?
[b]A:[/b]

[b]Q:[/b] What is your best memory? Your worst?
[b]A:[/b]

[b]Q:[/b] Would you consider yourself a team leader, a damage dealer, a supporter, or a tank?
[b]A:[/b]
[/spoiler]

[b]Powers[/b]
[spoiler]
[i]Major Technique 1[/i] Name and describe this technique, including pros and cons.
    [i]Major Technique 2[/i] Name and describe this technique, including pros and cons.
    [i]Minor Technique 1[/i] Name and describe this technique. May be passive.
    [i]Minor Technique 2[/i] Name and describe this technique. May be passive.
    [i]Minor Technique 3[/i] Name and describe this technique. May be passive.
[/spoiler]

[b]Stats[/b]
[spoiler]
You may spend [b]ten[/b]  of these to begin with, spanning over all stats. Over the course of the  storybook, you will be rewarded with further points. Place one block  (▲) per level you wish to show in each stat.

[i][u]Health: [/u][/i]
[i][u]Magic/Energy (whichever applies to your character):[/u][/i]
[i][u]Offense:[/u][/i]
[i][u]Defense:[/u][/i]
[i][u]Speed:[/u][/i]
[/spoiler]


Faculty

CodeSelect all

[b][u][size=150]Your Name Here[/size][/u][/b]

[b]About You[/b]
[i]Please answer a series of questions so we can all get to know you better. [/i]

[spoiler]
[b]Q:[/b] Do you identify as a male, a female, or something else?
[b]A:[/b] Simply choose your gender.

[b]Q:[/b] How old are you?
[b]A:[/b] 21+

[b]Q:[/b] Which universe are you from?
[b]A:[/b] Place your comic book/video game/book/TV show/combination thereof here.

[b]Q:[/b] Which superhero is your parent or ancestor? Are there more than one?
[b]A:[/b]

[b]Q:[/b] What are your superpowers?
[b]A:[/b]

[b]Q:[/b] Which faculty position will you be filling?
[b]A:[/b]
[/spoiler]


Evatt "Fullsteel" Elric

The Mecha Suit slammed a hand down overhead; lights began to fade, air began to suck into its vacuum palm, and the heroic Evatt Elric could surely see his days ending at the hands of this relentless mechanical beast. He closed his eyes and threw forward his hands, making his own transmutation light as a gaping hole opened in the steel claw. Evatt slipped through and drew a blaster from his belt, unpacking a full dozen shots into the exposed power core on the back of the machine. It spasmed and whirred and began to glow with radioactive energy. Evatt's eyes went wide. He ran - no. He booked it out of there.

"Coney Island!"

The mecha suit ran after him, spurting beams of energy as it deconstructed. Evatt threw up a shield of concrete and continued to run.

"Coney! Island!" Dodging beams of radiation.

The robot suit broke through his barriers and tackled him, and this time he closed his eyes expecting real pain. "END SIMULATION!"

Everything around him vanished and Evoltrick dropped to the ground beside Evatt. Curiously, he poked the fetal-positioned hero on the knee. "You stopped the game right when it was getting good! Everyone loves a good ending!"

Evatt uncurled and went wide-eyed. "You didn't explode when I said the word!"

"The word...?"

"The safe word! You said you'd stop if I said "Coney Island" -- You called it a safe word!"

"Oh, no. That's for another experiment." Evoltrick sat beside Evatt and wiped sweat off his brow. "Controlling that robot was so cool! No wonder Dr. Eggman is always at it with that poor Sonic." He pulled a mic taped to his shirt to his chin. "Professor, did you get readings on Evatt's response time?"

A gruff, doggish voice came over the intercom and replied with a: "He's getting faster. Not fast enough, but faster all the same." A door swished open and Will McCoy entered, scratching his scruffy chin and yawning. "Aren't you two tired of running simulations? I mean don't get me wrong - I like staring at the moon while two dudes blast lasers at each other as much as the next guy..." He yawned again. "But some of us have plans for the morning." He pointed over his shoulder to a digital clock that read a huge 4:20 AM. Taking a glance at it himself, he sighed. "So that's where West went to." He turned back to Evatt. "You've gotten enough training for me to make my decision." To Evoltrick. "Same goes for you. I'll call for the winner in the morning." Hands shoved in his pockets, he left the simulation room with another howling yawn.

Evatt stood and looked at Evoltrick. "Okay."

Evoltrick agreed. "Okay."

"No matter what happens, we agree that the winner only gets to brag on Tuesdays."

"Naturally."

They commenced their secret handshake.

Shake slap pinkie swear elbow knock ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A


The next morning, Evatt woke up with a legitimate headache. No, wait. That was everything hurting. He ached out of bed and checked his phone. No missed messages. No missed calls. He'd woken up before his alarm. Sometimes even the alarm could be exciting. Regardless, he turned all alarms off and dropped his phone in the pocket of his PJs. The mirror in his bathroom had a lightbulb on the top that flickered every thirteen seconds. His hair looked like Cloud Strife's from that. What was that. Final Fantasy. That's the one. Evoltrick had made him play all of them that he could download for free. "It's educational," Evoltrick had said. Then Evatt tried to run away from the Demon Wall boss because if a wall is coming towards me, my first instinct is not to hit it with my sword.

All the while, he'd been brushing his teeth under his flickering light. Gently patting down his intense hair. He finally gave up on it and pulled it back into a ponytail. He flexed in the mirror. The lightbulb sizzled.

That means the problem is physical instead of electrical.

He climbed up on his sink and squinted under the bright light, then placed his hands on the metal parts of the bulb. A light flowed through the route of the wiring and realigned the iffy pieces. Proud of himself after twenty seconds of uninterrupted light, he posed heroically in the mirror. "Crisis one: averted!" He hopped backwards and landed on two feet and one hand, the way Batman always landed. Batman was his favorite. He made a face in the mirror and made his best Christian Bale voice. "I AM BATMAN." He coughed. Harder. "I am batman!!"

It wasn't his best. Wasn't his worst. His pocket began to vibrate.

"HELLO YOU'VE REACHED EVATT ELRIC!"

"Evatt? Evatt! That's unmistakably your phone voice."

Evatt's eyes began to glisten with excitement. It was Dyre!

"Dyre! Dyre is it Dyre? I think it's Dyre but, but phones don't show faces yet! Is it Dyre? Tell me it's Dyre!"

A laugh. Two laughs. "It's Dyre. Did you know these phones only work on Earth? I've tried doing that Facetime thing so many times, but it always said it was searching for coverage in Asgard."

"Yeah, it didn't really like Amestris, either. Although they haven't invented cell phones or whatever coverage is, so you know. Hopes weren't too, uh. High." A pause. "Where are you? Do you need help with your things?"

Another two laughs. "No, silly! That's what Dy is for." In the background Evatt could hear a man struggling with too much luggage. It was unmistakable. "Anyway, I'd love to see you sometime today. Are you busy?"

He thought. "Well I have to meet Professor West for Science Club...and I'm helping the Headmaster with peculiar arrivals that Professor L'Roth predicted with her tarot cards. Um. And I may have to meet the missions director. Maybe. Hopefully. But maybe not. It's complicated."

"Then the answer would be that you're busy," she deadpanned.



Director: So we understand that you and Dyre have a history together. Do you think that you have a shot after a whole summer of not speaking?

Evatt: Maybe. I mean. It's not like I care...or anything. [He gazes off to the side] Splitting us up would be like splitting an atom. Nothing happens. No, wait. [He pauses for several seconds and stares at the camera] Please don't use that line.



"I -- yeah. I guess I am."

"Well, all the same, I'd like to see you today or tonight. We could meet up--"

"--in the forest! By the lake?"

She laughed. She laughed so softly. "I'll let you come find me when it's time."

And the line died.

He looked at himself in the mirror, grinning. He made a serious face and puffed out his chest.

"I am Batman!"

He started coughing, throat murdered. "Dammit," he wheezed.


After he was dressed and red-coated, Evatt left his dorm room and looked at the slip of paper Stark had given him with a list of names and arrival times. He was one of her Senior Greeters, so it was his job to greet...

"Mocchi Mog." He pondered, then went stone-faced. "The Moogle. Oh God, The Moogle!"

"KUPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!"

"Mocchi?"
Mocchi hit Evatt square in the chest. She tumbled backwards with a soft squeak, limbs and wings flailing madly. "Woaa-h, kupo!"
Evatt steadied her - with his arm. "Steady, Mocchi!"
With his arm as an anchor Mocchi managed to get her feet pointing at the floor, and pom-pom at the sky. She was almost reluctant to admit it, though, and held on to that amazing hunk of machinary a little longer than she needed to. "Thanks, kupo." She adjusted her spectacles, peering at the mechanics. "Remarkable. What do you use to oil it, kupo?"
Evatt gently withdrew his arm and flexed his wrist. "Oh, I'm glad you asked. See, I use a dry lubricant for the elbow- graphite, you know? but I really can't use that for the hands or I'd be drawing on everything I touched all day. But then more traditional oils can be greasy..."
"That does sound difficult, kupo." Mocchi gently pulled at his thumb. "So many bearings and joints... have you tried Tungsten Sulphide?"
"Yeeah, but it's so pricy for something that's in constant use."
"Kupo, I've heard bronze dust can do something similar? What is this made of, anyway?"
"Carbon fibre steel, mostly. There's some more traditional iron in places..."
"Maybe try plating the joints in gold, Kupo."
"For the bling?"
"Well, maybe, kupo, but mostly because gold has good sliding properties- it does wear down, but I hear that might not be such a problem for an Alchemist, kupo."
Evatt considered for a moment, staring into the middle-distance. "But the bling, kup-I mean, uh." Evatt paused. "just the bling."
"It's no use, anyway, kupo. I couldn't fit my electroplating machine in my mailbag."
"Shame, I would have liked some bling. Alchemy, gold, it just works."

Mocchi rummaged around in her bag while Evatt stared wistfully at his arm. Mocchi squeaked. "I'll tell you what I could fit in here, kupo!"
"Hmm?"
"HAMMER, KUPO!"



Mocchi was floating away from a nearby storage closet stuffing something suspiciously metallic in her bag when the announcement played.

"Yeah, okay. Yeah. Testing. Obligatory opening where the speaker is unsure that he's talking to eeeeeveryone on campus. Are you happy now, AT? Okay. I wouuuuld like to see Evatt Elric and Evoltrick in the Mission Control room in twenty minutes. Thank you for lending me your ear holes, please go back to your inevitable shenanigans."

"Oh, kupo, kupo!" Mocchi floated away faster, ignoring the thudding from the closet.



Director: So in broad daylight, you knocked out an alchemist and stole his automail arm. In front of cameras, no less. Did you really think you'd get away with that?

Mocchi: [She stares into the camera and shrugs] Maybe he'd think it was a mail delivery, kupo? But like, in reverse.



Mocchi booked it down the hall. He'd be less angry when he saw the improvements she was planning. Right after she studied it for the next twelve hours straight. Then maybe two or three disassemblies. And maybe if she rigged it just right she could even add some bling? Her pom pom bobbed in delight.

She was so busy planning her mechanical mischief that she didn't see this girl arrive. Mocchi almost span out of control for the second time in half an hour, but the arm saved her yet again, acting as a counter balance. "Oh for mog's sake." She span to a stop in front of the girl, who for some reason was on the ground.

Mocchi adjusted her glasses. She didn't think she recognised this one. She certainly didn't look like she'd gotten here in a hurry. Never plot and fly, Mocchi.

The girl looked up. She looked confused. Mocchi cleared her throat and twitched her pom-pom in what she hoped was a friendly way. "Are you okay, Kupo?"

Teri Maximoff | ten years in the future and bounced backwards

"Relax, T. It'll be fun! It's so that you can visit your Mom! You said you had stuff to ask her! I'm not sending you anywhere in time, just in space. It's just a little psionic manipulation!" Allie positively bounced on her bed, waiting for her friend to accept.

"Sending me to a different planet is a little psionic manipulation?" She raised an eyebrow at Alli, to which the dark-haired girl riposted with large, appealing eyes. Teri sighed. "Fine. Even if I end up in the wrong place, not much is going to happen." Teri smiled, placing her hands in her friend's.

"Okay. This will... Tingle." Allie sucked in a breath then let it out slowly. Teri could almost sense her doing the psionic manipulation - it was something she'd been working on with her Mom over the break.

There was a silent woosh as it started to take effect. Teri's skin started to prickle and she closed her eyes against the growing light that surrounded her. She could feel herself warming up as the energy started to flow faster. "Al, I'm not sure this is a good idea." She murmured.

"It's fiiiiine."

A few seconds passed.

"Oops."

Teri tried to open her eyes, but found her lids stuck together like a clingy couple. "What do you mean 'oops'? Al?" The light flashed behind her eyelids, accompanied by a slight roaring sound inside her eardrums. "Allison Summers, what in the 'verse have you done?"



The sound started to slowly die down, and the glaring light was replaced with more natural sunlight. "Where am I, Alli?" She finally managed to crack her eyes open. Her head spun like the time they had decided to run around the Academy in circles until Teri fell over. She held a hand over her eyes until she was able to see straight.

The tall facade of the Academy stood before her. A crowd of people surrounded her, watching her carefully, unsure what to do. She didn't recognise any of them. Her mind started to race after the possibilities, which were admittedly few and far between.
"Oh my gods." Staring at the main building, it seemed younger and less renovated. Students flowed between the main doors, carrying trunks and suitcases. The term had started a week ago.

"No." She turned her head. Instead of a lake, the Academy was surrounded by thick forests. Taking a deep breath, she felt her lungs tickle. Pollution. She coughed very slightly and blinked as the trees tilted.

"Are you okay, kupo?" A concerned face stared down at her and she realised she was kneeling on the ground, crumbs of earth starting to gather around her knees. She took a breath and stopped pulling the earth toward her like a blanket.

"I- I-" She tried to stand, but her legs slid out from underneath her as if she were a newborn foal. "The year. What year is this?" The poor fellow rattled off the date, a perplexed expression lingering on their face. Teri wasn't quite sure what race they were, but they were freaking adorable.

"Allison Summers, I am going to murder you," she muttered under her breath. Turning her face to the stranger floating over her, she smiled sweetly. "I'm having a Very Bad Day. Could you please help me to the Head... Masters office, please?"

"The Headmistress, kupo. But yeah, sure." The fluffball stuck out an arm to help her up. Realising after a few seconds that she wasn't able to do even that, they grabbed her hand and flapped their wings madly until Teri managed to stay upright. "Not the Infirmary?"

"Maybe afterward. But the Headmistress first." They nodded, then helped her inside and to the office. By the time they got there, she could almost walk by herself again. Her head throbbed infernally, and she could feel people watching them pass by. Whenever she caught faces, it confirmed what she knew. Allie couldn't organise something like this, even if she had a large part of the school population twisted around her finger. It was the charm of having the Phoenix sharing your body.

"I haven't seen you around before, kupo." They said before knocking.

"That is utterly normal, ku-... It's normal." Teri took a step forward toward the door and took in the Stark insignia on the door. Brianna Stark, she remembered. She had seen her at a conference. Ten years in the future. The thought made her lurch again.

"Come in."

Teri stepped inside, thanking the person who had helped her with a smile.

"Hello, Headmistress Stark." She made a decidedly crooked path to the chair in front of the desk and collapsed into it rather than sat down. The headmistress watched her with worried eyes. Before she could say anything, Teri launched into an explanation.
"I'm Teri Maximoff, second daughter of Crystal and Quicksilver. You don't know me yet, and that is completely normal. I'm a student at the Academy ten years in the future and my friend just sent me back here by accident and I don't have a way of getting back," and because she could feel herself starting to break down, "Gosh, you had a lot more frown lines when I saw you."



Director: You say you're from the future. But can you prove it? Who's the next president of the United States?

Teri: Was the election before or after the second coming of Christ?



Stark blinked. "That..."

"Is hard to believe? I know, but if you have tests done on me, then I'm certain you'll find traces of a psionic time transfer. Also, I'm a little wobbly and feeling really faint." She could hear herself rambling, but it was from down a mile long tunnel. As she tried to focus on Stark's face, she felt something give and she slid of the edge of the chair, unconscious.

“...I am, the Unicorn Wizard! Riding for justice on a comet of stars! With the help of my sidekick: Princess Handjob, I'm more awesome and smarter, than I already are!”

The music invaded the laboratory, utterly changing its atmosphere. The teenager always thought that it was such a dull place to be in, but it was part of his home after all, and a place in which he could freely experiment was always needed in his book.

Especially with a custom-made jukebox thanks to which he could dance fabulously.

Knowingly pushing several buttons on the keyboard of his wide screen computer, the boy whirled from keyboard to keyboard, his wandering attention focused on the giant tank in the center of the place. The apple-sized orange orb inside of it was shining strongly, finally stable. The project was a success, and all he needed to do now was recheck everything before putting it to test.

“I am, the Unicorn, Wizard! My spells are amazing, and my reflexes quick! My horn, is my strength, and my strength is my power, and my power is my horn, and my horn, is my d–”

“Yo, Tricky! Where the heck are you?!”

Evoltrick nearly missed a step.“Khana, glad you're here! Hey, Jestune, cut the music!”
Jestune the jukebox automatically stopped its rhythmic wonder.
Vocal commands for the win.

A blue-skinned girl appeared next to the open door of Evoltrick's personal laboratory. She was wearing her favorite attire: black leather jacket over a gray t-shirt, black leather pants, equally black boots and sunglasses to cover her unnatural red eyes.
Khana authorized a little smile to appear on her lips before moving towards the lone boy, negligently casting away an invading strand of her raven black hair from her face.

“Looks like you didn't bother concealing you skin color this time around, huh.”

Khana shrugged, still smiling. “Don't need to do that when you're around, big boy. Pretty fancy place you got there,” she continued, looking all around her. “Since when d'you added a laboratory?”

“'Twas an idea of a good buddy of mine,” the latter answered, approaching his friend as well. Like he always did, Evoltrick extended both of his hands to remove the sunglasses from Khana's face, rediscovering the teenage girl's magnificent pulsing red eyes. He locked his gaze on them, hypnotized.

“Gimme that,” the latter ordered, snatching her sunglasses before backing away, uneasy. “You know I hate it when you stare like that.”

“And yet you always let me do it.” Khana let an enigmatic gaze meet Evoltrick's. Slowly, she put the sunglasses in her jacket's pocket. “Who's that buddy of yours? Is it the alchemist?”

“You changed subject.”

“Don't care. Pick up the pace.”

Evoltrick rolled his eyes.“Fine. Yes. And for the last time: his name is Evatt. Speakin' of inventors...”

A spark of excitement enlightened his eye as he turned around, pressing a final button on the main keyboard. The tank's protective glass opened, and the orange sphere inside floated towards Evoltrick unleashed a mad laughter.

“Ah,” commented Khana. “that laugh. I guess this is the part where you brag about how ingenious that orb is.”

“It's good to know you still know me! But I think it's better if I just show you.”

New Gimmick acquired! Setup: Power Orb Randomizer!

A big smile on the face, Evoltrick absorbed the orange sphere before materializing an orange, vaguely spherical orb, that looked half solid, half liquified. He turned back and threw it against the tank. Sudden sharp air blades came out of the orb and disappeared after a few seconds.

“So… You created an air bomb power? 'Cause that's not really impressive, Tricky.”

Evoltrick simply materialized another orb – identical to the first one – and threw it. This time, it turned into a boulder that collided with the tank. Khana frowned. “Get it?”

“Explain,” Khana ordered sharply.

“Okay then! I call that the Paichnorb. It's a variety of the G-Orbs I usually use, but this one is equipped with every single power I've replicated. Which is why I can throw different stuff without switching.”

“Tricky?” she asked slowly. “Remember how you used some of my potions to power up yourself to make all of your powers stronger while minimizing your energy loss? Remember the after effects of that?”

“Yeah. I used that last year, while I was in the academy. But that was only for the first trial, and I did promise never to do that again. But don't worry Khana, this is different. Here, the powers that come out of my Paichnorb are totally random.”

“...Ivon, That's insane.”

The teenager began growling. “My name. Is. Evoltrick. My past identity has no–”

“Shut up, we've been over this. And that's not the problem here. You wanna use a weapon that even yourself can't control? That's against everything you've ever done so far!”

“It's an experimental alteration, Khana,” was the boy's swift answer. “I programmed it to be randomized, but it's still my weapon. My power. I just need to get used to it. If I can end up influencing whatever's gonna come out of it, but without controlling it entirely, it'll be enough for me to win back my versatility...”

“...Without as much energy loss,” completed Khana. “Okay, I get it. But that's still insane, even for you.”

“Pff! Don't underestimate me, I'll be just–”

Khana squeezed the boy's face between her hands, surprising him. She approached her fiery eyes. “I know you don't care much about your own safety, Ivon, but I do. I'm here to make your stupid feet hit the ground when you're too far away from it. Never forget that.”

Evoltrick nodded furiously. She was waaaaay too scary sometimes.

“Good. Glad to see you're still the freaky idiot I know. I'll see you around."

"Bye! And thanks for stopping by."

Khana nodded before disappearing into the ground.

"I really need this power..." Evoltrick pulled out a phone from his pocket.

You got: 1 new message from: Bri-Queen-of-Mechas
"Evo, I know you're there. Hurry up and get back to the Academy, I need you in Mission Lobby in 20 mins.
Be late again. See what happens.
PS: Why can't you simply use the Academy's laboratory?!"

"For the same reason you use your own.", Evoltrick answered to the void. Welp. Better be there. Evatt was probably summoned as well, anyway. It was time to brag!



A vortex suddenly appeared in the mission lobby of the Academy, startling those already in it. Several orbs flew from it and exploded on the ceiling, in the fashion of powerful fireworks. At the same time, a tornado moved away from the vortex all the way to the center of the place. A loud music could be heard, and someone was flawlessly singing along with it.

“I am the master of ceremonies, So let me set you straight!”

The colorful tornado disappeared, revealing a youngster dressed with a fancy electric blue jacket with a crimson red stripe in the middle, blue jeans, equally blue shoes and a red and blue waist cape floating behind him.

“With just a wave, of my maaaaagic waaaaaaand, I'm, MASTER OF YOUR FATE!!”

Evoltrick released thousands of Paichnorbs in the air and unleashed a maniac laughter as the projectiles exploded, enlightening his dramatic entrance. “HELLO, YELLO, EVERYONE! Crazy jester's back to town, and he simply wanted to notify it. Soooooo, what's the mission?”

Will McCoy, barely awake, stared at the apparition in silence. "We'll wait for Evatt," he finally said, absolutely not impressed. the Headmistress was sitting on a chair at the edge of the room, utterly unconcerned by eveything around her.
Another intro failed. Oh well.

"Well, since we gotta wait for Evatt And I totally forgot my beautiful bag of tricks... May I go and get it in the meantime?" A vague gesture of approval was the only answer the teenager got from his Headmistress.
"Thankies. I'll be right back."

A few minutes later, the Mission Control room was suffering from a complete, depressing silence, occasionally interrupted by Will McCoy's snoring, the Headmistress' tapping on her newly customized cellphone, and Evoltrick's equally dynamic taps on the keyboard of his personal computer.
"RAIJINKEN!"
"Victory for: Team Benimaru!"

"Evo, instead of enjoying yourself, why don't you go look for Evatt? I'll be right here, enjoying myself too. Without your not so enjoyable noise."

"But I almost reached Dark Ash! And I can't even save!"

"Tell me exactly in which part of my sentence did you believe you had a choice."

Evoltrick sighed before closing his laptop. He left the Mission Control room and materialized a crimson G-Orb in his hand.

'C'mon out, Zubaluc!" In a flash of light, a purple bat appeared in front of him, squealing lightly.

"Glad to see ya, newbie! Now... Can you please localize any noise remotly close to Evatt's voice in the Academy, please? I can pretty much teleport anywhere in it, so I should be fine."
The bat flew up and closed its tiny eyes, his triangle-shaped ears moving in all directions. It took him only a few seconds to locate a screaming voice somewhere in the corridor. Once Evoltrick took note of this, he immediately warped towards the corridors of the Academy. He could see several closed doors, one of which was trembling under the furious hits of someone trapped in it. Evoltrick smiled and approached the storage closet's door, singing the tune of Danny Phantom.

"He was much more unique than the other guys! Hey, Evatt! Fancy meeting you in those dark grounds!"

"EVO! GET ME OUT!"

"Well... Maybe... Probably... POTENTIALLY... EVENtually..."

"Evo... If the situation was reversed, would you-"

"I can teleport."

"...Evo, there's a big problem! Mocchi stole my arm!"

"...Dude, if you didn't have an automail, this would sound really really wrong."

"Just get me out!"

"But dude! You're... I thought you were Batman! And you can't escape from there?! MY LIFE IS A LIE!"

"GET. ME. OUT!"

"Alright, fiiiiiiine. Mind the explosion."

"Wait, wha-"



Director: So you don't have any remorse?

Evoltrick: In what regard?

Director: Well... You blew up your best friend. Who happens to be an important Team Leader.

Evoltrick: You obviously have no idea about the things he can do to my body with his alchemic powers. [The teenager stared at the camera.] ...No homo.



A blue shell collided with the door and detonated. The door was blasted away, and Evatt along with it. The poor boy was smashed against the wall and fell with the door.

"Whew, that was... Uhh... Evatt?"

Evoltrick entered in the room, careful not to ruin his fancy attire. His best friend's clothes, however, appeared as destroyed as he seemed to be.
Oops.
Evoltrick put his arm on his friend's shoulder and teleported in front of the Mission Control Room's door. He hastily entered, slightly panicked.

"Headmistress! I found Evatt! He's... Um... Half dead!"

"Good. Take him to the Infirmary."

"Also, he's one arm short."

"Good. Take him to the Infirmary. You're doing the next mission with your own team."

"'Kay. Anythin' else?"

"If the girl that's already there is awake, don't forget to show her everything." She turned to McCoy, sleeping, and threw a Subway pen at his nose, rousing him from his nap with a bark. "Do we have enough money for a tenth senior?"

McCoy grumbled under his breath: "Only if we cut West's potato funding."

The headmaster nodded to Evoltrick. "She's a new student."

Will tilted his head to one side and scratched his chin. "Why's Elric so busted up? --actually, nevermind." He threw a packet of papers at Evoltrick's feet. "That's your mission. Don't screw it up." A pause, a shrug. "And even if you do, it's not a matter of national security or anything."

Evoltrick beamed at the two of them once he stood outside Mission Control. "Thank you both for this amazing opportu--!"

The door swished closed on his nose.



Having ditched Evatt in an Infirmary room, Evoltrick came out of his warping vortex, Zubaluc still on his shoulder. The little bat led him towards the new girl's room, and there she was, sitting in a white bed, visibly affected by a horrible headache, and more likely horrible painkillers.

"Hi! Um, are you Teri?"

She stared at him, obviously confused by his attire.

"Are you some kind of magician?" Her head drooped to the side. "'Cause I'm allergic to rabbits. I mean it's not the first time I've been around some, but y'know, not in an hop-sittal. Hospital. Hos. Pit. Al."

"I... guess you're Teri! Hi, call me Evoltrick. No, I'm not a magician, but dressing like one is amazin'. Like, you have NO idea. Also, I don't have rabbits. But I have a bird. And a bat that's right there."

Zubaluc squeaked, making his presence more apparent.

"That aside, apparently I'm supposed to show you around, so, I'mma do just that. If you've, uh... recovered."

"The air here is naaaaaaaastyy," she mused, wobbling as she stood up. "And your cute is very bat."

"I know."

"About the air or the cute?"

"...Yes."

The unlikely duo strolled away from the Infirmary, humming two different tunes in perfect dissonance.

Addy Ellis | The Starbucks Queue

At least there was one good thing about being best friends with your boss: she'd totally understand that you were late because you'd stopped in to buy hot chocolate for the faculty.

Addy smiled at the barista encouragingly. They were clearly new, they were using the milk steamer all wrong. Addy considered ducking under the counter and showing them how.

But no, that would upset her zen. She had enough teaching ahead of her.

With the hot chocolates precariously balanced on the dashboard - labelled 'Laddy,' 'Bree', 'Vest' and 'Wolfy Milkboy', Addy drove over to the Academy, hood down on the cream Beetle, tunes turned up. This was already shaping up to be an amazing year, the gang all back together again. Truthfully, they'd never been more powerful than when they were all here in the Academy, acting as a single, harmonious unit. They could have taken on the Avengers, or the Suicide Squad (Addy didn't believe in rivalry, she'd beat teams of all origins), or any superhero team. Her, Bri, the Williams, Dove, Wayne, Dmitri... what good friends they'd all been, and what good students. And now, they were inspiring a new generation...

~

"Um."

Bri looked up from her phone and gave a quick smile. "Addy! Glad you made it."

"Am I early? I went to Starbucks especially!" She handed Bri an expertly-misnamed paper cup.

"Slow morning," muttered Will.

"I think you needed something a bit more caffeinated, in retrospect," Addy said, handing him his cup and finding her seat. "So. What's the story?"

"Um, Evoltrick put Evatt in the infirmary."

"What's new?"

"There's a new girl in the infirmary!"

"Well that was a surprisingly convenient way to slip that piece of news into the conversation." Addy curled herself up around her cup of hot chocolate. "Who is she?"

"We're not one hundred percent sure yet, but she claims to be from the Academy in the future."

"What?" Addy nearly leapt out of the chair. "Does she know if-" She glanced at Will and then jammed her lips shut. She wasn't going to ruin the surprise, she wasn't going to ruin the surprise, she wasn't going to ruin the surprise, shewasn'tgoingtoruinthesurprise.

"She doesn't know anything," Bri snapped, glancing at her reflection in her phone screen. "She definitely doesn't know anything about my skincare regime," she muttered.

"You know, while I'm sure your regime is optimised, I think some more relaxation exercises and fewer late nights might really help those frown lines."

"What frown lines?" Bri asked, aghast.

"I think they're called beauty lines," Will offered. Both women groaned in agony.

"Okay." Addy set her cup down and stretched, then fell into a handstand.

"Teams were announced this morning for the term," said Bri. "I think they're going to need some work on cohesion before they start."

"Oh!" Addy stood on her feet again. "Me! Mememememe!" she said, putting her hand in the air and standing on her tiptoes.

Bri glanced at Will and shrugged. "I guess you can take part of the exercises. But Addy?"

"Yes?"

"Nothing weird."

Addy pouted. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"If it sounds Asian and needs more than two sentences of explanation, it's weird."

Addy shrugged. "Okay. I promise. Nothing weird."

She wandered to the gymnasium, having given Bri all her free slots and turning alerts on on her phone for when the Headmistress had it all sorted.

Nothing Asian, or that took more than two sentences to explain. Well that was fine. That left one of Addy's favourite art forms untouched and boy, would it teach them cohesion. They'd be a well-oiled machine, just like Braddy and the boys had been.


Director: Do you ever think you look at the past through rose-tinted glasses?
Addy: No. Everything I remember is accurate. I know for sure that I was best friends with everybody, including Rachel Wayne, and that Will McCoy and I eloped before we graduated. Memory is my superpower.


Oh yes, Addy had plans for these team-building exercises.

She went to the control room and pulled on a few of the levers, preparing the hall.

Nothing said teambuilding like flying trapeze.

Nearly back at school


Wake up, Cia. You have reached your destination.
Air flooded into the pod and slowly, Cia woke from her stasis. The capsule's hatch opened and, still slightly groggy, she stepped out into the open green field.

... Open green field? Oh shi-
"Ms. Oleracea!"
Sigh. "Headmistress Stark."

The very angry-looking headmistress was striding towards Cia, followed closely by Professor L'Roth. "The oval, Spinacia. Again, the oval. You are aware that this is the third time during your attendance here that we've had to flatten the ground and re-sod the soil, yes?"
"Well, you just get the brooms to do it, though, don't you?"
Ms. Stark's eyes narrowed - but she clicked her fingers, and out of nowhere several walking brooms with arms assembled and began sweeping up the soil around Cia's pod. Quickly Cia threw something at the pod, which vanished in a sudden blast of smoke; when it had cleared she picked up the small capsule that was lying on the ground, right where the pod had been seconds ago.

"Now that that's out of the way," Ms. Stark muttered, "kindly follow Professor L'Roth to your dorm. And kindly don't destroy anything on your way there. You'd think I wouldn't have to ask, but you Saiyans..."

"Welcome back, Spinacia," Professor L'Roth said under her breath as Ms. Stark began walking quickly back towards her office, flicking her hair back impatiently. "The Headmistress's stress is not your fault."
"It's not?"
"Well... not entirely. We have had a few unprecedented events this morning, and it's really all she can do to cope with one at a time."
"Oh."



Director: "You're calling her Professor L'Roth? Most of your classmates have... uh... another name for her."

Cia: "Yes. Professor Buzzkill. I don't use it because it is unfair and slanderous."

Director: "Really? How so?"

Cia: "In all the time I have known Professor L'Roth, she has never once harmed any bees."



They arrived at the dorm building. "Ah. And the Headmistress forgot to tell you that she has changed her mind and decided to allow you to eat your meals in your room, instead of the mess hall."
"Really? That's kind of her."
"I suspect kindness has little to do with it. After seeing the way you eat last semester, I can understand your wanting to have your meals alone, and as we staff use the mess hall as well I think the Headmistress would prefer for you to be elsewhere when she is eating."

Dove L'Roth | Dorms

Dove was about to explain something else when her phone buzzed.

The Chatterbox: Are you with Cia?! Tell her she has a training exercise this evening! <3

Great. There went any plans she had with Wayne. Bri had shown Dove the team roster and when you had Spinacia, Dyre, and Evoltrick on the same team— well, let's just say Dove still remembered her first team training exercise, and she had a feeling it would be similar.

Dove: Which room?
The Chatterbox: Training Room B!

Are you kidding me that's the room we destroyed last time.

Dove: What time?
The Chatterbox Six? Ask her what time's good! Thanks hun! <3

Spinacia was patiently watching, seemingly relieved that the interaction was ending. Dove pocketed her phone again. "You have a training exercise with Addy this evening. She's aiming for six, but if you have any issues with that, contact her."

The Saiyan nodded. "Very well."

"You've got my number if you need anything."

And with that, Dove hopped up and flew out of the room.

She kept weaving around the halls until a familiar blue projectile zoomed past her and hit a light grey barrier before it could nail a freshman in the face. Dove simply turned around and sent the now grey plushy back towards a troll. "Nice try, AT! Better luck next time!"

AT laughed and jumped up to catch her prized Inspector Berrysnout. "Good seeing you, Dove!"

The girl laughed and waved and went back to Bri's office.

"Well we don't need to cut the budget on the first day. For once."

Bri glared up from her phone. "I told you! They're down 23%!"

"They're still 77% on."

She huffed and returned to her schedule for the day. Basically everybody had left, and Dove just knew she would either be re-needed in infirmary soon, or something would happen.

"Where's Will?"

"He left to go somewhere." Bri looked up. "Why? Did you see a bone? And don't tell me you went to another dimension to get one!"


Director: So you're called Professor Buzzkill, your job is to fly around and make sure nobody causes any damage, and you seem to be setting up a prank directly after throwing a dragon named Inspector Berrysnout in the air?

Dove: I just make sure people don't blow themselves up or land in infirmary I don't monitor projectiles.



"I didn't!"

"Good."

Dove left the room and pulled one out of her toolbelt's pockets. I brought this one from home.

Will McCoy

Will had left the admin building feeling as big as an ant. Brianna--may her blissful reign extend for decades--had decided, in all her Starky wisdom, that Will's head was clouded with hearts and butterflies, and therefore wasn't in the zone enough to handle Directing the first mission. So there she was, puppetteering him, hand firmly shoved where the sun didn't shine, and he couldn't shake the feeling of being a rookie leader again. Always in Bri's shadow, always trying to please her father and that intolerable supercomputer. Yeah, Will would talk in a British accent too if he had the IQ of ten thousand Harvard grads.

He was older! He should be thinking about...alcohol undertones! Mortgage payments! Wedding...rings.

Will stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder at the semi-circle of windows where Brianna's office overlooked the courtyard.

It's not like he hadn't tried before. He took her to Bobby Flay's restaurant in New York. They were dressed to the nines - and he'd spent his entire life's savings (because screw only spending two month's paycheck on someone you love) on the perfect ring, sized to the milimeter using one of her armored gloves - and after dessert, after he'd popped a mint and welled up as much courage as he could muster, he dropped to one knee, asked her to marry him, and waited with the entire restaurant.

"Your tie is crooked," she'd criticized, "no."

And a year later, when they were on a mission together in Paris. It was classic. Top of the Eiffel Tower, staring out over the city at night while a string quartet played (by random happenstance - he didn't have that kind of money).

"You forgot the mint this time," she'd said. "No."

And finally, weeks ago, at her swearing in as Headmistress. West had the whole thing on his phone - and select parts auto-tuned on Vine. They were on stage when Will dropped to one knee and put on the most sincere puppy dog eyes imaginable. And with Vine as his witness, she said:

"West is here." It was his new ringtone. "No."

Will scratched his beard and morphed down into a blue Ridgeback. And took off towards the lab strand. Three windows from the main lobby, a flash of blue light filled the shaded glass. Will stopped and cocked his head to the side. That was West's lab. His tail wagged. Maybe he'd made potatoes.

He slicked back his hair as he meandered into the hallway as a human and sniffed. Someone was on fire at the end of the hall. Eh, it could wait.

He stood in front of West's lab door and, again, cocked his head to the side. Usually, the door recognized his face and opened automatically. He inserted his keycard. And got nothing in return.

Will stared at his keycard. He glared at it. He glared at the unopened lab door. He inserted the card again. Again. Faster.

Again. Faster! Again!Again!Again! "WEST!" He growled under his breath. "Weeeeeeeeest."

Agitated, naturally, he stowed his card in his wallet and dropped to the floor, peeking under the laboratory door. The lights inside were off. But in the dim light from the hallway, Will could distinctly see an eye blinking back at him. "Dammit, West, why is the door shut down?"

Mumbling, he replied: "Promise you won't laugh."

"You know I'd never laugh at your jokes, buddy."

The eye shifted away, then came back. "Also don't fire me."

Will paused. "Conditionally."

"I was going off of the idea you had last night to harness small bits of energy from the students walking by the aetheryte to supplement our power costs."

"Aaaand?"

"The machine was turned on reverse."

"So your lab is powered down."

"And me."

"You sucked your own power?"

"I sucked it really, really hard."

"Dammit, West." He frowned and stood up, stroking his beard. "Alright. Alright. I'll just go get...AT. She'll just have to cut the door open."

"No way! Bri would fire us both! We don't have enough for another door. And what if Dove sees you? That counts as a top-grade shenanigan! Right there! Caught red-handed with Memelord!"

"AT's hands are gray at best."

Will crossed his arms and closed his eyes, sniffing. "Ah, good. AT's in the ladies' hall with little miss L'Wrath."

"See?" his voice was muddled under the door. "It's destiny! It's fate that I be trapped here! Forever! Just a pretty face in a dark room."

Will sighed. "I'll figure out how to deal with Dove when I get there." He morphed down and wagged his tail under the door at West's face. "I'll get you out!"

He took off in a doggish sprint out of the lab wing, past the guy on fire, and headed north through the courtyard to the ladies' dorm. Lucky day! The door was already opened! He bounded down the first hall, took a left at the lobby, and slid into the elevator just as the door was shutting. He looked up at the girl riding the elevator with him and smiled, tongue out. She obliged with a scratch behind the ear.

On the second floor, he sniffed the ground and followed a trail that led to AT and was immediately pulled into a room full of stuffed dragons. Will gasped as he changed to human. "You found West's replicator!"

"Hells yeah I did!" AT glanced around the corner as a freshman girl looked around, lost. "Target acquired, Sergeant Fluffypaws."

Will picked up a dragon and took aim. "Ready to fire, General Memelord."

"Three," she cackled. "Two. Hehe." She waited and grinned. "One!"

They launched their dragons into the air and vanished into the plushie room. There was a quick squeal and a burst of light - then both dragons rolled back to their door, heads precicely cut off.

They looked at one another. "Bail out?"

"Bail out!"

AT opened a window and dove for the ground below. Will changed down into a Yorkshire Terrier pup and landed lightly in her arms, licking her face.

With his voice tiny and high-pitched, he asked: "Do you have your swords?"

"Uh, does Wayne have a third fist where her butt should be? Of course I have my swords, Puplord."

Will hopped down and grew back into his human form, arguably for the last time that day. "Then we have a job to do." He lowered his voice. "We have to cut West out of his lab."

"!!! Fun!!!" She nearly drooled. "I haven't cut open anything metal since Dimitri stepped on my Criminal Minds DVDs!"

Will yawned. "You pirated all of those."

"Well--yeah, well." She looked around for an excuse. "Once they're in the physical world, they're practically mine, so--"

Will threw up his hands. "Don't look at me. I pirate things I already own because I'm too lazy to check the DVD shelf."

They walked. They passed Evoltrick and the new girl hosing down the guy on fire. Once they got to West's lab, they looked around. "West? You there?"

"Password," requested the door in a whisper.

"Pass...word." Will looked at AT and shrugged.

AT thought for a minute. "One word at a time, the way West would want it."

"Uh. Coconut."

"Coconut."

"Sharks?"

"In."

"The."

"Water?? ????? ?????"

The door did not open, but a whisper came from under it. "Password accepted."

"Okay, West. Roll away from the door and AT will slice you outta there."

There was a rumble from the other side of the room. Will guessed he'd ran into something during his roll. AT drew her swords and took a stance. "Door! You have murdered my family and dishonored my second family I made to replace the first! You don't get my jokes and are not kawaii!" She spat. "DIE! EHEHEHEWAHAHAHAA!"

The door crumbled in seconds.

Will hopped in. "Let's get him to Bri's lab before he can die anymore."

They hoisted him onto their shoulders and he casually whispered, "Can we stop by the bathroom first?"

Will walked through the chopped-suey door first, then AT. Will's eyes widened. West put all of his weight on his two friends. Will's nose flared. A bone flew by, coated in a gray misty aura.

West hit the ground, face-first, as a blue Dachshund ran down the hall barking after it.

Dove hovered nearby, smug grin betraying her face.

West groaned and turned his face from the floor to Dove. They stared at one another for a long minute. "I won't tell Bri about the bone if you stay quiet about the door."

"YEAH," AT barked, "THE DOOR." Snicker. She took off on all fours down the hall after Will.

Dove nodded. "This year is going to be good."



Director: [Shakes head, wordlessly]

Will: [Bone in-mouth, wags eyebrows]

Evatt Elric

Evatt slowly - with a groan - opened his eyes. The light above his bed flickered. "I won't be a cliche and ask where I am," he grumbled. "This place smells like a hospital, so I'm in the infirmary." He took a hard glare at the camera nearby. "Seriously. Why can't victims waking up in the hospital use their senses and know...nevermind." He huffed.

His arm nerves were missing. It didn't take him falling on his side to realize this. He could feel it - especially considering half of his brain felt numb when he thought about moving his arms.

"The question remaining," he muttered, "is what happened to my--"

His head jerked to the side of his bed where a small parcel had been placed with a moogle stamp on its front. One-handed, he slowly opened it. Slowly because he was missing half of his thumbs. Christ.

He unfolded the letter and a small piece of candy fell out.

Dear Evatt,

Right now you probably want to flog me mercilessly with a trout, and I'll admit that someone who perpetrated such a heinous act of theft deserves it, kupo. But I'd like it if you'd reconsider, and instead would give that trout to me as a gift!

What I mean to say is that you will thank me for stealing your arm and locking you in that horribly stuffy closet, kupo. It may take some time, but before long, you'll have your blink! That's what you kept saying earlier, right? Blink? Anyway, I've already spraypainted the word blink onto your forearm in gold, so whether or not this is a correct assumption, please grow to love it as it's rather permanent.



Evatt folded the letter and stowed it on his bedside table, then noticed the huge hammer she'd left in the corner. No, not a hammer. It was practically a mallet. He felt around his head for a knot. There didn't seem to be one, so that was good news...and he wasn't connected to an IV, so there were no cliched tubes to yank out. Evatt managed a smile. Today was shaping up to be pretty good.

He hobbled off to one side of his bed and sat up, then stood, grimacing. Bare feet on a cold linoleum floor was most assuredly a hospital gimmick. But first and foremost, the most fanservice-y thing happened when he stood.

His shirt fell off in shambles.

"It's okay, Evatt," said Evatt, "you're practically an action star. You can handle being an unarmed shirtless male hero. No sweat."

"Did you say something, sweetheart?" A nurse entered his room. Huge pink hair and a white outfit with a picture of a Pokemon on it.

"I was just." He paused, looking uncomfortable. "I don't think it's fair that in the action genre, males are generously exposed to the elements only in comfy environments. Like hospitals. I wouldn't have a problem if I were without a shirt in a blizzard, or even in a desert. But if I were a female, fate would have me dressed in a hospital gown to show off my legs or thighs - something that can easily be sexualized."

"Sweetheart, that's not a medical issue."

Evatt sighed. "I just have a problem with social jus--"

The nurse left the room and shut the door behind her.

Evatt looked down at his chest and the enormous red scar that ran down the entirety of his automail connector. He'd forgotten to use the adjective scarred. He nodded. "Okay." He gathered his boots in his hand and left the infirmary without many passing glances or concerned nurses. None of the medical staff tried to stop him in urgent voices. He'd subverted an entire trope.

On the front steps of the infirmary, he sat and awkwardly tried to tie his boot laces, failing at the final step of pulling (with both hands) the strings tight. He decided he'd leave them untied - until he saw Dy booking it across the yard with two Five Dollar Footlongs in a bag. Evatt yelled at him, stopping him in his tracks. When he saw Evatt, a wicked grin slithered onto his face.

"You're mostly armless," noted Dy as he approached.

"I got Moogled earlier."

Dy squinted. "Is that a new euphamism for bl--"

"No! It means a Moogle took my. My arm. She knocked me out and took it and locked me in a closet--it doesn't matter."

Dy crossed his arms. "That sounds like a shenanigan, and I hear those are strictly forbidden this year. Something about a professor and some dead bees -- my memory is a little fuzzy when I'm this far from Sis."

Evatt nodded. "Could I ask you for a very large and very fanservice-y favor?"

"I'm not quite sure what fanservice means, but you know I'd move mountains for you." He paused. "Or at least a rather large number of burly men. I'd move several of those for you."

"I can't tie my shoes," he confessed.

Dy raised an eyebrow. "Ah, I see."

There was a long silence between them.

"You realize that kneeling at another man's feet is a symbol of submission, yes?"

"That's why I'm not looking you in the eyes." And he wasn't. His face was perfectly turned to the side.

Dy placed his (and probably Dyre's) food on the steps and knelt in front of Evatt. He grabbed the boot laces and began tying, unable to speak under the weight of the trope.

When he finished, Evatt looked up at him, standing. Then Evatt pulled him into a very quick hug, breaking it off almost as quickly as it came on. He coughed. "Dyre...is going to give you hell for this later, isn't she?"

"More than your mortal eyes have ever seen."

Evatt nodded. "She is nothing if not a hellish immortal."

"You should come to the dorm with me. She's been waiting for a while on these sandwiches, so you'll get the honor of watching her eat a Footlong Chicken Teriyaki on Rye."

Evatt furrowed his brow. "They didn't have wheat?"

Dy shook his head. "Only rye. Don't ask me. They just demanded it be so."

Evatt shook his head. "The staff this year is really weird."

As they walked, the intercom came on over the courtyard. An airy, happy voice came over the speakers. "So I know that not everyone on the Senior teams has assembled for the schoolyear, but like I would love to see Evatt Elric, Tanya Pryde-Rasputin, Zao Zhurong, Teri Maximoff, and Alexei Kosoj in Mission Control A-S-A-P! Thank you soooo much!"

"Alexei Kosoj," muttered Evatt. "I don't recognize that name."

"Dyre got a peek at his admission files last semester when Ms. Prince wasn't looking. Almost all of his information is redacted."

Evatt pondered for a moment, but gave up on its peculiarity. "I guess I'll meet him in a minute." He nodded to Dy. "Tell Dyre I'll come looking for her tonight, after her mission."

As Evatt walked towards the admin building, he heard over his shoulder: "Don't forget to bring the stars!"

Dyre
*

I'm here, all is well, I didn't end up inside a camera. Dyre looked up from the letter she was writing, frowning, and then sighed before continuing. Tell Dad and Grandpa I said hi and they have nothing to worry about. Dyre.
She got up from the bed, stretched and placed the letter on the table.
"Go," she muttered. "Go to Heimdall. He said that's all I had to do to contact him."

The Guardian had made her promise she'd write as soon as she could, before he sent her to Midgard's Academy. Those cameras and technology they have, he had said, [/i]they're distracting. I can't send you right into your room, you might end up inside a cam recorder or a cellphone instead.[/i]
Dyre knew he was worried - at least partly so because he had promised her father he'd get her to the Academy safely - so she consented to write him a letter and follow his instructions to send it, letting him know she wasn't in any sort of trouble. But she had never sent a letter that way before; she wasn't even sure was it a one-time-only thing Heimdall made her able to do, or if it was a normal way of communicating with home.

"Will you--" She blinked, looking at the empty table where the letter used to be just seconds ago. "Okay then..."

She turned to the door as she heard footsteps on the other side, but they just passed by. Where was Dy? He left to get sandwiches ages ago -- it felt that way, in any case -- using "I'm faster" as excuse.
Dyre shook her head. He either got lost -- which was possible -- or met some friends and got caught in conversations -- which was probable. She sincerely hoped he wasn't caught by a teacher who carefully read the memos from the Headmaster's Office. Likeness of Loki was rather Dy-descriptive.


Director: So your father is Loki.
Dyre: [with a little smile] Are you having troubles believing it?
Director: I'm just wondering why a god would send his - only? - child here instead of...eh, homeschooling.
Dyre: [with expression that makes one hard to believe there was ever a smile on her face] I suppose he's busy. Being a god.


With another sigh, Dyre took out her cellphone. It still lay oddly in her hand, but she had at least gotten used to it enough to be able to contact people. Or rather, person. She never really talked to anyone but Evatt.
Her finger hovered over the call button, his picture on the screen. It would probably be stupid to call him now. Aside from the fact they were in the same building, they already had an agreement to meet in the evening -- and also, she already knew where he was. She had seen him laying there in the infirmary, and he had no idea she was even there.


Director: Wait, you've been to the infirmary while he was unconscious?
Dyre: Mm.
Director: But we were there the entire time. We were filming different angles, all the time except while there was a battle in the front yard. We had a wonderful frame from the infirmary's window just then.
Dyre: Oh. I suppose I must've been there exactly during that time.


The door opened, letting in Dy with the sandwiches, and she tossed the phone on the bed.
"Took you long enough."
"I met Ev," he said, giving her her food, and grinned. "He's awake. He couldn't tie his shoes."
She nearly smiled. "That's not funny. Try getting your arm cut off." She frowned at the sandwich. "Rye?"
"They only had rye." He flopped on the bed. "And his arm isn't cut off, it was just stolen. He'll get it back. And some of it is still there, anyway."
Dyre rolled her eyes. "And so, you tied his shoes for him? It didn't occur to you to... I don't know... Go get his arm back instead?"
"How would I--" His sandwich dissapeared, replaced with a tangible illusion of Evatt's boot. "Very funny."
Dyre smirked. "Don't tell me you think our magic isn't a match for Mocchi's."
"Our magic is forbidden." He turned his sandwich back into a sandwich and gave it a suspicious look before biting into it. "Kupo's isn't."


Director: Was that battle below the infirmary's window an illusion?
Dy: [raises eyebrows] I wouldn't know. I wasn't there with her.
Director: Hm. Why do you call miss Mogg "Kupo"?
Dy: Because she says it a lot, and nicknames are a thing.
Director: Does it bother you being Dyre's submissive personality?
Dy: [suppressing a laugh] Excuse me, what?


"You know, Dy, I've been thinking," Dyre said once they finished eating, now sitting on the bed next to him. "What good does it make to keep our powers forbidden? Aren't we supposed to learn here?"
"Mm, yes... but--"

The door opened again. Or rather, slammed open, probably waking everyone who might've been asleep in the dorm. Not to anyone's surprise, Evoltrick stood there with a grin.
"Ready? We're having a team meeting. Going for our first mission in a bit."

Dyre got up, pulling Dy after her. "Oh, dear. Who made you a team leader?"

Evo made his way out the moment they seemed ready enough, practically radiating with some energy that made Dyre forget she was angry at Dy and worried about Ev. Not that she'd ever admit that to him, but it was a rather common effect -- when he wasn't an annoying show off, at least.
"Destiny," Evo said dramatically, and then politely nodded to professor L'Roth as she passed by.

Dyre stopped. The teacher seemed to be in a hurry -- but if anyone knew about forbidden powers...
"I'll be right there," she told Dy and Evo, turning before either of them had time to speak.

She followed the corridor the teacher had turned to, catching up with her at the next corner.
"Excuse me... professor? Do you happen to have a minute?"

Raven Lebeau

Of course she would be late her first day back to school after visiting her parents. It’s just her kind of luck. She ran through the halls, hoping she could at least get lunch before something bad happened. ‘Cause it was the Academy, and it would.


Director: That’s very pessimistic, isn’t it?
Raven: *Gives the director a flat stare.* That’s right, they said you people would be following us around, didn’t they? That’s kind of creepy. You better stay out of my room, and keep your cameras out, too. Are you in the bathrooms, too?


The speakers squawked, and a bubbly-voiced woman trilled, "So I know that not everyone on the Senior teams has assembled for the school year, but like I would love to see Evatt Elric, Tanya Pryde-Rasputin, Zao Zhurong, Teri Maximoff, and Alexei Kosoj in Mission Control A-S-A-P! Thank you soooo much!"

Raven swore under her breath, running through the papers they’d given me when she arrived in her head. Team A: Evatt Elric (she thought he was the guy with the metal arm last year), Tanya Pryde-Rasputin (she’d met her at a party the X-Men had held once or twice, she was pretty cool, Kitty and Piotr’s kid, though she didn’t know her real well), Zao Zhurong, and Alexei Kosoj. The headmistress had hurriedly scribbled in her name with theirs and told her if her team was called to go to them.

She could swear the Maximoff girl hadn’t been on the list, but maybe she’d been late like her. Raven wondered where she fell on that family tree. Another Magneto kid, or maybe Wanda or Pietro’s or that green haired lady she never remembered the name of? There sure were a lot of Marvel kids this year. Weren’t Dyre and Isi on the other team related to Asgardians, too? It’s a wonder more fights don’t break out here.

She briefly considered ignoring the call. After all, they didn’t mention her name. Maybe they didn’t need her and she could go get her lunch. And even if they did need her, she could always smile up at them and flutter her eyelashes and maybe she’d only get a century of detention instead of twenty.

But there was a sparking of curiosity, one she really wanted to violently murder, within her soul. So she turned to go to the admin building, though she glanced wistfully in the direction of the cafeteria. “Well, Ah did say Ah wanted to watch my weight...”



Raven ran into Evatt on the way to the Admin building. Not literally ran into him- that would be bad. “Anything new?” He stared at her, and with a ‘are you stupid’ kind of look, pointed at where his mechanical arm wasn’t but should’ve been. She shrugged. “Ah mean anything Ah should know about that Ah missed. Nothing about wacky shenanigans.”

Evatt walked in silence for a long moment. “Your accent’s showing again.”

“Damn.” With effort, Raven said, “It’s because Ah-I was with my Ma and Pa. Every time I am, I start talking in this pseudo Cajun southern accent that’s not even southern really, just whatever weird mess they speak. So who are our teammates? I’ve met Tanya a time or two, but the others are new to me.”

“I heard Zao has elemental powers. I don’t know Teri or Alexei.” From his terse responses, she gathered he wanted to be alone, or at least not near her. She fell back simply by slowing her stride, and put some distance between them.

Spotting a glittering round rock in the grass, Raven bent and scooped it up in her hands, surprised the gardeners had missed it. She turned it over in her hands, noticing the black and white flecks and the cool, damp feel.

A purple glow began to gather around it, as she stared, transfixed. The realization hit her a moment later. “Ohshitohshitohshit...” she muttered under her breath, and glanced about frantically at the perfectly manicured lawn. It began to heat up, and she chucked it in an empty direction.



Raven avoided meeting Evatt’s curious gaze, shoving her hair away from her face with one hand. Flushing, she asserted, “I meant to do that.”


Director: “You meant to do that?” Do you think anybody really believes that?
Raven: Shut up. You’re an idiot.


She hoped the gardeners wouldn’t notice the foot-deep hole in the lawn. And that nobody would fall into it. Of course, if anyone asked who made it, she would blame the old standby, Not Me.



In the Mission Control building, which smelled faintly of popcorn for reasons Raven didn’t really want to know, Will McCoy leaned against a wall, arms crossed over his chest. Hank’s kid, but not her universe’s Hank. Seriously, she still had trouble wrapping her head around all this stuff, and the weirdest thing was there must be multiple versions of her parents out there, since she’d met my alternate universe half brother last year. That had been awkward, to say the least. At least he wasn’t attending this year. Raven turned to Tanya, a tall, muscular girl who’d already been here when Evatt and she arrived, along with a dark-haired boy who’d introduced himself as Zao, and asked, “Do you ever wonder if there are alternate universe versions of us? Or does that only happen if you’re really famous and influential?”

Tanya frowned thoughtfully. “Aren’t we supposed to have Dimensional Studies sometime this year? Maybe that would answer that.”

“Maybe.” She stood still and silent for a moment, but couldn’t help rocking back and forth on my heels. Damn. She was way too nervous and tense today. Maybe because of knocking out the caffeinated junkie who tried to cop a feel on the way here. At least that was one nice thing about her power, though she did have to drag him to the ER. Her folks probably wouldn’t of been happy if she let him get mugged.


Director: Is that why you were late?
Raven: No, I was late because I accidentally blew up my wallet.
Director: You... blew up your wallet?
Raven: Not on purpose!
Director: *Barely containing laughter* I think we already established that, what with your use of the word accidentally.
Raven: No more questions!

Teri Maximoff

The boy on fire seemed totally cool with the situation. It probably had something to do with how the flames weren't actually touching his skin, just floating around him. It only took one bucket to douse the fire, leaving him sodden.

She flashed him a smirk as he left. "See you later, hot stuff." He gave them a lopsided grin, then ambled off down the corridor, narrowly avoiding a plushie projectile.

Teri turned to Evoltrick, grinning inanely. The cute bat still hovered at his shoulder. She watched it with a tilted head, her eyes following the flapping wings. She watched them, transfixed, until a cough shook her.

"Naaaasty." She muttered, groping at her belt until she found a pouch, and reaching out a vial, flicking the cap and downing it in one go. The tightness around her lungs loosened. She grinned.

"What's the juice, Teri?" The ostentatious magician flicked his cape and music seemed to appear from nowhere. She still hadn't managed to work out where it came from. It was utterly insufferable, whatever it was.

"Anti-allergen, magic boy. Someone's burning fossil fuels like I do calories, and my lungs ain't liking it." He opened his mouth to make some probably very witty reply, when a bubbly voice chirped over the speakers.

"So I know that not everyone on the Senior teams has assembled for the schoolyear, but like I would love to see Evatt Elric, Tanya Pryde-Rasputin, Zao Zhurong, Teri Maximoff, and Alexei Kosoj in Mission Control A-S-A-P! Thank you soooo much!" Teri could almost hear the pink and the flowers. Or maybe it was the painkillers making her hallucinate.

"I think that means me, magic boy. Our gallivanting must come to an end." She twirled, auntie Wanda's jacket fanning around her. Giggling, she twirled again. She started off down the corridor.

"It's the other way!" Called Tricky as he started up the insufferable music. She paused, then turned on her heel.

"I knew that."

~

Teri was resolutely decided that her Mission Control was nicer than this one. Mainly for timeline pride ethics, but also because hers had a slide and this one was utterly slideless. She tsked disappointedly as she wandered through the doors. There was a faint smell of popcorn that made her realise that she probably should have grabbed something to eat. She wondered whether the rye-only trend had come in yet.

"Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen, there was a cat that really was gone~" she hummed as she entered the room. A girl looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Tanya then.

She glanced around the room. Everyone else was already there. A teacher leaned against the wall. She caught sight of a guy with only one arm and her eyes widened. Professor Elric. Now this was going to be interesting.

She raised a hand and waved. "Hi. I'm Teri. Quicksilver and Crystal's daughter. Sorry I'm late, my friend sent me back in time and when I'm from, there's a crater here instead of a building." Everyone blinked at her.

"Now that that's said, Addie wants you all at the hall."



Director: You didn't want to work them up to it slowly?

Teri: [a long pause] They drugged me.



"So all you have to do is hook your legs around the bar and swing!" The teacher grinned delightedly, clapping her hands together.

They all stared at the bars in midair. "... But how?" Zaolin muttered.

"Just swing!" She sighed as everyone looked at her blankly. "Fine, I'll show you. But only once."

The watched her as she made her way over to the hanging bars.

"This is meant to be for group cohesion, right?" Tania asked in a quiet voice.

"She does realise the Moogle took my arm?" Everyone glanced at the space where Evatt's arm was meant to be.

"Maybe we're meant to work together to get out of here?" They glanced up at Professor Ellis, swinging happily from bar to bar.

"I'd say that's probably the idea." Teri muttered.



Director: So you were all running away.

Teri: It was tactical retreat. [a pause] Okay, yes, we were running away. That trapeze was scary.

Captain Evo on duty!

“SPARTA!”
Evoltrick slammed the door with his foot before suddenly turning back. He snapped his fingers: the discreet walkman hidden in his electric blue jacket's pocket unleashed a few notes from Billie Jean.

“She says I am the one...
But, the kid is not my son...”

The teenager proceeded to moonwalk his way into the Mission Control Room. The other members of Evoltrick's team stared in awe.

“Stop the music!” The walkman obliged. “Good morrow, young rodents, how can I help you? Be there a quest, that you seek to do?”

A collective silent stare answered his question.

“D'awww, you guys are no fun. So basically,” the boy continued, suddenly retrieving a more serious tone, “We're headin' for Washington D.C. Apparently a famous actor the some of you might not know named Nicholas Cage has gone berserk, somewhat developed super-powers, and is currently wrecking havoc in the city. The police probably called us for back up, and now we're suppose to stop him. Any questions?”

“What are this guy's powers?”

Every head turned to the voice: Dyre had appeared in the room without anybody noticing.

“Oh hey, welcome aboard, Dyre. As for his powers, they weren't mentioned in the mission paper. We'll have to figure that part out once we're there.”

“So we're thrown against an enemy we don't have any info on, and we're supposed to just deal with it?” Spinacia intervened, frowning. “This is ridiculous.”

“No offense, Cia,” was Evoltrick's immediate answer, “but you come from a race of warriors with a tail around their waist, able to transform into laser-breathing King Kongs when the moon shines and can change hairstyles to get stronger. Please remove the word “ridiculous” from your vocabulary. And no hard feelings! I love Saiyans. And besides, we still have some ways to get some info about our enemy!”

“Yeah, I could totally sneak behind the dude and tell you guys what he can do,” Dy added, smirking. “Shouldn't be too hard.”

“I'll accompany then,” assured Evoltrick, to everyone's surprise. “Plus, I've got a full set of tricks for this kind of task, as well as a plan of action for all of us.”

“Uh, not to be rude, Evo, but your loud mouth kinda prevents you from any stealth activity,” Dyre commented coolly. “You might want to leave that part to Dy and me.”

It was Evoltrick's turn to smile. Without answering, the boy simply walked towards his group, his first three steps echoing on the paved ground. Suddenly, no more noise could be heard. His pace and gait had not changed, yet he was completely silent.

“As I was saying,” the boy repeated, gazing at his team with a carnivorous smile, “I'll accompany, and I've got a full set of tricks for this kind of task. Let's jet, people!”



Director: Well that was a surprise. Where did you learn to do that?

Evoltrick: [looking away, stuck in memories] ...In a forest. [chuckle] That and when trying to scare people. Which is eighty percent of the time.



“...And we've been waiting here ever since here, hoping for you guys to show up,” the policeman concluded. “It's impossible to approach him with all those flaming bees around him. Whenever we get too close, they–”

“...Dive in and aim for the eyes?” Evoltrick completed, barely restraining his laughter. “Don't even ask how I know, you'll need a few more hours spent on the internet to get it. But thanks for those valuable hints, I'm pretty sure we can defeat this unexpected boss with them.”

The policeman and his colleagues stared at the band of strange teenagers in front of them. The city was being destroyed by a madman as they spoke, a few skyscrapers and buildings were already shattered, and it didn't seem to bother them in the slightest. Where they really the heroes they had been waiting for?

“Right… But are you SURE you can handle it?”

Evoltrick rolled his eyes and materialized a crimson G-Orb.

“Zubaluc, show them your alternate form”, he commended as the bat came out of the sphere. A dark aura surrounded it, its shape became blurry, and suddenly, a human-shaped shadow appeared behind the teenager. It had white, lifeless eyes, a dog-shaped face with a pointy arrow-shaped nose, and he was holding a red bow, obviously awaiting to shoot something. Slowly but surely, the policemen decided to stay away from the creepy figure and entered their car before abruptly driving away from the danger zone.

“It's almost boring how easy it is to freak out normal people,” Evoltrick commented, grinning with satisfaction. “Now, let's review the plan, team! Dyre, Dy and I are gonna scout ahead to try and understand what we're actually dealin' with. Zubaluc will back us up with his arrows. In the meantime, Cia and Mocchi, you stay in the back and prevent any foe from getting anymore territory or destroyin' anything else. When My group finds the info we need, I'll send Panzaro as a signal for you to begin the assault. Oh, and guys?” Evoltrick added, gazing and Dyre and her alter-ego. “You have green light. Do whatever the heck you want as long as one: the target's not dead; and two: we end knowing as much as possible about his abilities.”

Dy nodded, smirking happily. “Green light, eh? I think I'm gonna try a stealth kill. Figuratively speaking, of course.”

“You might want to come back near me if you want to be covered by Zubaluc's arrows, though.”

“Sure.”

Evoltrick raised his fist in the air. “Well then! Let the Operation Knocking the Cage begin! Dispersion!”

His waist cape floating behind him, Evoltrick ran towards the area indicated by the policemen, Dy, Dyre and Zubaluc right behind him. As soon as the bees appeared, the latter began shooting his magical red arrows – appearing out of nowhere – towards them. Four bees fell on the ground right at the group's feet. Evoltrick grabbed one as he passed by, looking at it carefully.

“Crystallized-like eyes,” he thought. “Hot to the touch. Policemen mentioned them blazing, which implies that Cage is a fire spell caster. Just like when… Oh gosh, just like when he was Ghost Rider.”

“I'm starting to get it,” the teenager announced to the duo behind as they hid behind a building. “I think Cage's powers are based on the movies he played in. That or whoever gave him his powers is a meme-addict, and WORSE than me, which, trust me, is an achievement.”

“Get to the point,” the duo behind him exclaimed in exasperated harmony.

“Sorry. He can set everything he touches ablaze, control flames, and apparently, summon swarms of bees. That he immediately ignites, which gives them a status close to immortality. and the result is what's around us.”

An explosion was heard near their location. Zubaluc took cover near the group, undamaged. Several groups of bees were on the ground behind him.

“Alright big guy, stop shooting. The stealth part has truly begun, so save your best shots for later.” The creature obliged and joined his master. “So, you guys are followin' me after all?”

Dyre and Dy nodded.

“I'm still going for the stealth kill though, but you seem to know what we're up against. And your archer bat thingy is actually pretty useful.”

“Fair enough! But, um, we're basically against a powered-up Ghost Rider, so it's no big… Oh wait, no, never mind. Cage was also Dr.Tenma in Astro Boy, so we may have to fight hellfire powered machines... he was in the Sorcerer's Apprentice, so he knows magic, and...” Evoltrick's eyes widen. “...Oh gosh. We're in deeper trouble than I thought.”

“But wait a second,” Dyre intervened, frowning. “If this Cage is such a famous actor, then there are way too many powers for him to use. He must have some sort of artifact to sort them all out, or else he'd be overwhelmed. He's just a mortal, after all.”

“...Oh yeah. That's also how I do it. Let's keep goin' and see how he does his thing, then.”

“Evo.” The boy turned around. Dyre was staring at him strangely. “Yeah?”

“How do you walk like that?”

“Well, the Moonwalk is actually not that hard, but I can't do it as good as Mi–”

“You know what I meant. You're not a stealth guy and have no need to be one. Where did you learn to walk like that?”

Evoltrick's smirk slightly faded.

“Let's just say that I quickly had to learn how to bring the best of both my powers and some of my physical abilities at a young age. In a… quite lethal forest, too, and one of the few places I can call home.” The boy sighed, a spark of nostalgia in his eye. But at the sound of a distant explosion, it turned into the light of mad excitement that enlightened his eye.

“Oh, looks like Cia and Mocchi are havin' some trouble. Y'know, Dyre, I'm a Deadpool guy. Sad drama doesn't really last long around me, so enough with the backstories! Let's get back to some well-deserved–”

A buzzing noise interrupted the boy. Turning back, he noticed a group of bigger bees flying towards his direction.

“...Action, now that's what I call perfect timing! Dy, Dyre, I'll handle those guys. Zubaluc, back them up! Go for the stealth kill and bring back the info you get on the target to everyone, 'kay?”

“Really man, no need to repeat that”, Dy couldn't help but answer before running away, his sister and their shadowy guardian right behind.

The teenager shrugged. "Mommy always said that repeatin' was good for memory."

Evoltrick turned towards the bees and unleashed a maniac laughter before materializing a Paichnorb. He clenched his hand into a fist and hit the closest bee with it. A horizontal tornado struck it, and its entire group was engulfed and blown away.

“Tornado punch?! OH YEAH, randomness for the freakin' win! Now, fiends, taste the almighty power of my brand new Hazard Gatling!”

Still cackling, Evoltrick opened both of his hands. They began glowing unnaturally as he aimed for his struggling foes. The boy proceeded to rapidly throw Paichnorb after Paichnorb in swift successions, so fast that the eye could barely follow.



Evoltrick: Rocks, fire, electricity, freakin' blades, even a tiny black hole, I literally fired EVERYTHING at them! Gosh, I love my Hazard Gatling!

Director: Y-you changed subject again.

Evoltrick: What's that?

Director: I was asking if we'd ever know what happened to you back in that forest you mentioned earlier. Were you some kind of Tarzan boy?

Evoltrick: [staring blankly] No I wasn't, But you'll know eventually. Right now, I'm running late. If I don't go back to the training room now, Evatt's really going to lay into me.

Director: Wha-

Evoltrick: No homo.

Washington, D.C.

Spinacia raced down Pennsylvania Avenue with Mocchi Mog in tow, ignoring the now-countless Nicolas Cages lining the streets. The clones were throwing various kinds of attacks her way, but most were turning towards Evoltrick, Dyre and Raven down at the end of the street.
"Are you sure this - kupo! - is the original?" Mocchi called as she bounced up and down in Cia's slipstream. She had looped her bag around one of Cia's arms in order to keep up with the Saiyan.
"This one's the only one breaking away from the fight," Spinacia answered, squinting her eyes and focusing on their quarry, "and, yep, his power level is still significantly higher than the others'."



Spinacia: Yeah, I can sense how strong others are.

Director: Really? Can you give me a demonstration? How strong am I?

Spinacia: Your power level... it's about fifty.

Director: Hey! Fifty! Not bad!



Spinacia: I decided not to tell him fifty was on par with a newborn kitten.

Director: Um, that was me. And saying "Director's Cut" loudly like that doesn't mean we're going to edit it that way.

Spinacia: Why not? It worked when you said it.



Suddenly, Cage-Prime swerved to the right and straight into a building; Cia quickly followed suit. The sudden change in direction sent the moogle into a wild swing, wailing for dear life and narrowly missing a lamp post as they ran into the National Archives Building after Cage. And stopped.
Nicolas Cage stood triumphant in front of them, next to a display case.
"I'm gonna steal the Declaration of Independence!" he said with a grin in a voice that sounded strangely pre-recorded.
Cia shook Mocchi's bag off of her shoulder, stepped forward and closed her eyes.
"Then it seems we are at an impasse, Mr. Cage, because I believe my mission here is to stop you from doing that very thing. So you can quit now and we can put an end to this..."
She tensed suddenly and opened her eyes. She was now surrounded by a glowing yellow aura and a strong wind was whipping dust and small objects around her.
"Or, if you would prefer to fight it out -" she bent into a fighting stance and raised her fists in front of her face, "- I would be happy to oblige."

A split second passed before they were flying at each other, exchanging blows faster than Mocchi's eyes could process. The moogle, not sure what to do next, pulled a pair of pom poms from her bag and started cheering for Spinacia.
incoming call. academy. please respond. They chose now to get in contact? Cia thought, mentally rolling her eyes. She blocked a hook from Cage and slapped the side of her head, hitting the button on her receiver.
"Hello? Is this getting through to anyone?"
"This is - ouch! - Spinacia. Is that you, Professor L.?"
"It is. What's the status of the mission?"
Spinacia kicked Cage into an open cabinet, slammed the door and shoved a chair against it. "That should buy me some time. It's a good thing you weren't here when we were fighting the bees, it would have just lent credence to that stupid name people insist on calling you. I'm fighting the original Cage now, he said he wants to steal the Declaration of Independence."
"How funny. That's what we need you to do."

Spinacia was momentarily stunned, and didn't notice Cage kicking out the door of his cabinet or Mocchi throwing something silver at him. "I think I mustn't have heard you correctly."
"We've learned that - someone - sabotaged the document last time its display case was cleaned. We need you to take it out and remove the unauthorised edit."
"But what about - oof!"
Spinacia was knocked forward onto her stomach, Cage rising to his full height behind her. As Mocchi advanced forward, Cage turned towards her, raised his hand and shouted "Speckles the Mole!" A tiny ball of fur erupted from his hand and launched itself, spitting and clawing, towards Mocchi.

Spinacia rolled onto her back, narrowly avoiding Cage's foot as it slammed into the ground next to her, and kicked into the air to launch herself off the ground; instead of landing, though, she flew over Cage and landed next to the display case he had been at. He lunged at her, but she grabbed his hands as he thrust them at her and used the ensuing brawler lock to glance down at the document.
"... Professor L.?"
"Spinacia."
"Tell me I'm not seeing what I'm seeing on here."
"You know what West is like."
"William West, forever da best? He actually wrote 'da'! And he drew a - well, I assume that's a crude drawing of a - one of those."
"He what?!" There was no mistaking the Headmistress' voice - apparently Cia was on speaker. She heard a distant smack and "You drew a penis on the Declaration of Independence?!"