Corrupt a Wish 2

Granted, they have been pulled out. You no longer have eyes to hurt.

I wish love was everywhere.

Granted, but now we live in Hippie World.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

Granted, but you become a zombie that has to constantly feed on coffee-hyped wrimos for fear of...more zombie-ish-ness.

I wish this room was bigger.

Granted, but the room is so big that it takes over the whole world and ends up being everyone's room.

I wish my computer mouse would stop spazzing out.

Granted, but then its precision is so increased, you bump it and your cursor flies across the screen, hitting the 'select all writing' button and then the 'delete' button.

I wish this thread was more active.

Granted, but now it's loaded with noobs...
Oh wait...
I'm not yet out of the noob stage!

I wish I could move away from this lame town!

Granted, but then your family moves to New York and you get run over by taxis.

I wish I wasn't bombarded by over-the-shoulder-peekers even as I write.

Granted, but now no one ever takes any notice of anything you do, even when you want them to.

I wish I wasn't so hungry right now.

granted, but to fill your hunger, you consume the entire world and leave the rest of us with nothing. Hence, we all attack you with nerf guns and fuzzy chains.

I wish I had all the money in the world.

Granted, but now there is a new currency going around. All your money is useless, and nobody wants it.

I wish I could live in my dreams and nightmares.

Granted, but you become stuck in the worst nightmare you've ever had.

I wish I had some ritz crackers.

Granted, but then the ritz crackers become radioactively-sentient from a nearby nuclear station and they eat you and spit you back out into a muffin shaped container with a fishbowl over your head and then you get your brain eaten by poetry.

I wish I was random.

Granted, but, wait... you ARE random! XD

Mr. Realms wishes that they would invent a chip to implant all schoolwork information into children's brains... ^^

Granted, but the chip is infected with a virus, and one day at school the children all start blasting polka music from their ears before crashing and becoming completely useless. A few spontaneously combust.

I wish my dude would get his own car already.

Granted, but he brings home a dilapidated, rusty, bent-in, faded-lime-green sedan...without aircon.

I wish I didn't have freckles.