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solivagant



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Points: 27136
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Fri Mar 23, 2018 3:28 pm
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Querencia says...



Humming to myself
Through the quiet woods I wander
The only sounds are
My footsteps, echoing back on themselves.
The forest is empty, but...

The solitude fills me.


evanescence (2017)
disenchantment (2016)
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Mon Apr 02, 2018 2:50 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant i

I measure my time by nights,
by moons.
This one is perfectly round and
gleans silver like a coin
or like an eye.

The days are repetitive,
filled with ennui and
endless responsibility
while the song of the stars is
bright outside my window.
I close my eyes and
imagine myself to a place where
no one's ever been.
That's what makes it free.

The nights run like
sand through the hourglass,
smooth like water and
hard like stone.
The wind whispers of
a distant ocean and of
mountains and deserts and
everything lovely.
Everything not here.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Mon Apr 02, 2018 9:33 pm
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Querencia says...



solivagant ii

I've heard it said
not to look behind you
(it's figurative --
behind you is where your
past lies, like so many
found and forgotten things.)

But I find myself instead
walking on thin ice above my past,
a stormy sea centimeters
beneath the soles of my shoes.
Threatening to swallow me.
The barrier is as thin
as a single breath of air.

To transpose the situation
that others seem to know,
I'd have to look up rather than forward.
The sky is very tall and
the sun is blinding bright and

humans were never designed to
fly.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Wed Apr 04, 2018 1:23 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant iii

I know this path like a
distant, half-forgotten melody
hummed in the dark.
The footprints match my own
shoes and stride, but
I can’t seem to recall
having been here before.

A thousand tiny signals and
little marks along the way tell me
that someone else was once there,
walking with me,
but I’ve only known solitude.

The path seems
well-kept, not a stick or root
out of place.
Free of mud and stones,
holes and bones,
yet I cannot walk it.

For the flesh is willing but
my spirit is weak.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Thu Apr 05, 2018 3:05 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant iv

the ashes rest, white, like
snow
on your black jacket,
in your black hair.

i don't know,
don't care what they're burning
because it's always something.

when i was younger and
thought a bike was
freedom incarnate,
i would chase after
plumes of smoke on the horizon.
i was always a don quixote.

then, they burned prairies,
because the fire helped things
grow.
nothing grows anymore.

your eyes match
your hair,
your jacket,
my heart.
black.

and maybe it's good
that we're empty;
there's room for something
new.

where the smoke touches the sky
there's a cloud and
inexplicably, impossibly,
it starts to
rain.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Fri Apr 06, 2018 3:07 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant v

cup your hands, roll the dice;
make a wish and do this thrice.
skip a stone into the lake,
count the ripples it will make --
these are the things that it will take.

here it comes, do not think --
chin held high, you do not shrink --
rise up at the place you fell,
cast your cares into the well.
they say wounds heal, but time will tell.

head stay calm, heart be true:
lead me ever back to you.
we were always tempest-tossed,
ever since our paths first crossed
but I know we are never lost.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Sat Apr 07, 2018 4:41 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant vi

I find you sitting on the seashore,
ocean salt licking your legs as you
build castles in the sand.
You tell me that you want to --
need to -- create,
that you owe it to the world after
all that destruction.

When you sit back to admire
the stone and sand city,
the sea sweeps in and
lays waste to the gleaming towers,
washing them flat and leaving only
crumbled pebble walls.

I tell you that we are not destruction,
that we are not the ones to blame and
we need not hold ourselves accountable.
You say that you know
and you sculpt a new wall.

I feel cold all over like the
steel-grey sky above me,
a smear of stratus clouds.
We don't destroy, but
building castles in the sand for
the ocean to consume
never helped anyone.

I tell you the only thing that matters
to me,
that the most important thing is
what we make of ourselves.

I reach out a hand.
Think of what we might create
if you took it.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Sun Apr 08, 2018 4:58 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant vii

the world is so small
it's a wonder that we
aren't all friends,
for I'm always dreaming
of a time when there are
no more loose ends.

for reasons I've never known,
it's when I'm surrounded by others
that I feel most alone.
I can't stand people when they
seem to be closing in, but
once on my own, I reach for the phone.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Mon Apr 09, 2018 3:04 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant viii

I met a girl, once,
with skin painted red.
she said she was preparing for
battle, but I saw not a soul.
I asked what she fought and
she said she fought
to live.

I have no war paint to
smear across my face,
no shield to protect myself,
no standard to proudly bear.
I have but paper and pen,
which is enough to build
a kingdom,
but not a friend.

I am not a princess in a tower,
for there is no dragon to guard --
I am here of my own
free will.
you may think differently, but
walking into the lion's den with
shoulders thrown back and
head held high,
every day on into eternity,
takes as much bravery as
slaying the beast.
it's enduring.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Tue Apr 10, 2018 2:59 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant ix

November lies like a shroud
across the face of the earth,
whispering to the plants and birds and
singing them to sleep.

the leaves scuttle from
street to street like messengers,
hinting at future snow like
it's something they've been told
not to announce.
it doesn't matter because we all
feel it in our bones anyway.

the Monarchs left first,
somehow knowing when to leave
despite never having seen the
place they left,
the place they're going to.
no single butterfly can
make the trek.

the geese start to bugle
with a kind of urgency, telling us
to get out now, while we can.
they needn't worry.
for we are a winter people, and
November is only nature.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Wed Apr 11, 2018 3:07 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant x

there's
a girl
in the rain.
I don't know her
name, but she looks like
a girl I'd like to meet.
she's dancing out in the street,
bright yellow rain boots on her feet,
streetlight catching in her gleaming hair.
I wish I could have her elegant joy.

I wish I could have his solid safety.
lamplight glowing in his cheeks and eyes,
closed in the comfort of his room,
his smile like a flower in bloom.
his light dispels the gloom;
he looks so well-loved.
I'd like to know
him better
and go
there.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:30 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant xi

the night is starless;
though the way home is
well-beloved,
i stumble in spite of myself.
maybe because of myself.

i've gotten to the point
where i can't tell if
my mood matches the storm or
the storm is summoned by my mood.
either way, the darkness boiling
both inside and out
are matched.

the more i think i'm changing,
growing,
the more i feel like i'm
putting myself into a box.
the farther i drift from society
the more i seem to
typify their stereotypes.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





User avatar
452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:55 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant xii

eyelids dripping, drooping,
shoulders slumping, slooping.
hands are curled up in my lap,
mind thinks only of a nap --
reality's like a slap.

stomach tautening, tightening,
heart beat faltering, frightening.
nurse's face is hard to miss
falling into the abyss --
but I made you a promise.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





User avatar
452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Sat Apr 14, 2018 4:41 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant xiii

quiet thoughts
descend like rain to
lay in my mind when I'm
watching out the window and
hoping for a sign.

if I let my eyes get squinty,
my vision barely blurred,
the music stand seems to
align with the armchair,
tracing a pattern almost familiar
but now lost.
maybe it's the same as
tracing the lines between the stars,
connect the dots.

dust shimmers in the sunlight,
drifting downwards before it
settles on the mantle,
because that's where I put things
when I want to forget them.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





User avatar
452 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 27136
Reviews: 452
Sun Apr 15, 2018 4:24 am
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Querencia says...



solivagant xiv

I:

I've basked in warm
contentedness before;
though it's bright and
filled with laughter,
peacefulness is boring.

out in the world I could be
doing something for others,
changing the world before my eyes,
beneath my feet,
living life, not just enduring.

I belong outside, walking the
ways of the world,
following my heart and
seeking knowledge for my mind.
my soul is
wild.


II:

I've walked these streets alone,
care-worn and world-weary;
it seems I'm always on the run --
from something, to something,
it doesn't matter which --
but I never get anywhere.
and I'm so tired of it.

I wish to be somewhere
warm and secure, safe and sure,
to rest my head, if only
for a minute.
it would be well worth it.

I've been tossed through life like
waves upon the sea,
going with the flow of
what people say is good;
but at the end of the day,
I'm restless and only want to go
home.
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  








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