Young Writers Society

I was sitting at the counter this morning, early, drinking my tea before I had to go to my classes. I just had this moment where I became extraordinarily self-aware. It was quiet, and I just sat there listening to cars coming and going, and the early birds, and watching the fog ebb and flow with the breeze with a cup of the same warm tea I drink every morning. I had put on cute earrings, a fun outfit, and I was sitting in my own apartment, no anxiety about someone barging in on me or expecting anything from me so early in the morning. I had an 8am class, yes, but I wasn't dreading it because I was finally learning about the things I had chosen to pursue.
I'm 20 now, a junior in college, and living the life I never thought I would see. I honestly made very little plans for after high school, because it never seemed like a reality that would come to pass. I'm now actually thinking about what my future may be like after I graduate college. It's still hard, yes, but I often think back to how terribly my mental state was in high school. I honestly wasn't sure I would live to my 20s. I wish I could show myself then how nice it is now. I'm still struggling, and I wouldn't say everything about this is perfect, but I'm actually satisfied with my life. I wake up now and don't feel dread. I have plans for the future and a path to get there. I feel more comfortable in my body than I have ever been able to be before. I'm still learning a lot, but I like it. I like life. I like living. I want to keep living. I know I have am privileged to be able to say that, and I truly appreciate it.
Will I still have awful mental health days where I want to take this all back? Probably. Will it be easier to understand that the future can be better? I hope so.

I know this was a weird rambling self-reflective post, but I hope those of you out there that are struggling right now can take a little hope from my experience and know that it truly can get better <3