and now i'm alone.

Hey @thehoplessromantic just giving you a little encouragement - you've got this! Still plenty of NaPo left to go!

when silence fills the room more than joy
all hearts sinking in grief
as we all remember
who was once with us

you told me "thank you for everything"
saying i was your only friend
who would listen to their problems
and want to be around them

if only they knew
all of the people here
are sitting here, wondering what they did wrong
what signs they missed

i got a text.
"i love you"
it was the middle of the night
i was about to shut my eyes

if only i had been there
if only i saw you were suffering
you might be here
holding my hand saying you're cold like always

well i'm cold.
i haven't felt warmth since
the day you disappeared
the day you thought that was the only option

i never knew silence could echo
everything is distorted
in tears, i call you.

Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system
***-***-**** is not available. Leave a voicemail at the sound of a beep.

*Beep*

if i go to sleep, everyone i love will be gone
the world will collapse
my life, my friends, my family, all wasted.

it keeps me up at night,
paralyzed in fear
with only the flicker of the night light keeping me sane.

tick, tick, tick,
time goes slowly
every second like hot torture

lump in my throat
conceal, conceal, conceal,
don't let them see this burden

all because of a
click, click, click
anxiety tearing at my flesh

vision goes blurry as i
fall, fall, fall.
who turned out the lights?

if i sleep, i will have failed them
i won't be able to say goodbye
am i a bad person?

my parents look so happy
do i dare tell them
that the world will end?

no, i'm a big kid
eight year olds are strong
i can carry this

i'll hide it
shove it all down
and pretend everything's alright.

Oof - I love the observation "I never knew silence could echo" it is so very true in multiple senses. These are both so heartfelt and beautifully introspective, the second poem gives the feeling of ruminating and almost circular thinking - great use of repetition too. Looking forward to reading more, great poems so far!

when it grabs your throat
and pulls you under
gasping for air
flailing your hands

screaming for help
no one hears you
as if you've already died
and been forgotten

you cry and cry and cry
there's nothing you can do
your body is weak
your mind is fuzzy

vision flickering
choking on air
heart racing
the last cruel moments of y0ur |if3

y0ur b0dy giv3s 0ut
th3 t3ar$ st0p
mind goes numb
you relax

y0u know your eyes are open
yet it's still dark
your earbuds are working
yet there's no sound

so you l!e th3r3
f!na||y r3st!ng @ft3r th@t he||
y0ur h3art sl0ws d0wn
@nd th3n !t $t0p$.

"think back to a time
when you loved yourself" she said.
and my mind went blank

sweet honey on my tongue
hair golden in the sun

cool breeze on my skin
relaxation deep within

bees buzzing in the trees
happiness with such ease

welcome to this paradise
a chance to rest and close your eyes

spring is here with summer peeking
memories for safekeeping

a chance to laugh, a chance to play
on a bright sunny day

enjoy the moment, make it last
don't just linger on the past

what's done is done, too late for changes
be grateful for these sweet exchanges

to live, to laugh, to love, to care,
as long as i can be right there

"Sweet Honey" makes me feel very happy to read