she's just a picture

nothing is real

life is an illusion,
a simulation.
every day,
I become more and more
convinced that's true.
people die
dreams fall through,
and everything else
that's in between
is just a distraction.
every last one of us
is on the same twisted ride
that we didn't ask to be a part of.
so maybe you and I
can enjoy each other's company
for a while.

you

everywhere I go,
I am haunted by the memory of you,
haunted by the time we shared,
and all of the broken promises.
the first time
I ever went inside your house
i remember thinking I'd
stepped into another world.
it didn't make sense
that you'd want to be with me
and maybe that was part of the problem,
or maybe I was a chess piece
in your rebellious game
against the privileges of your perfect life.
two years of a fickle, conditional
love, two years of wasted time
with you. I'd like to think
there was something there
because two years is a long time
to idle by.
either way, I hope you have
everything you've ever wanted.

first kiss

these past few weeks about our first kiss--
a kiss that hasn't happened yet.
it plays so vivid in my mind,
on an endless loop and your lips are so sugar sweet
that I think I must have touched them
in another life.

I am consumed by thoughts of you,
of all that we could be.
I think about one kiss
and all it would take
to know that you love me too,
to know that this isn't in my mind.

let's have our first kiss
and see how special
this could be.

stranger

I am a stranger in this world
and in the city streets I walk through
day by day-- another body, someone
in someone else's way, no one
who sees me for me.
Everything is always moving
at a Sonic the Hedgehog pace
before I've had a chance to catch my breath.
I'm always two steps behind--
never enough, and always a stranger
in the only place I've ever known.

the end of the road

this road has reached its end.
but that's okay, don't cry,
it only means it's the beginning of another.
all this time I've been
a snake about to shed its skin,
a butterfly still entrapped in a cocoon.
this life no longer fits,
and it hasn't for a while.
It's the beginning of a new chapter,
and I'm ready for the adventure.

Congratulations on a great NaPo Elinor! I've been reading along. I really like "you" & "someday" especially in these last few. Someday is so bittersweet and yet cautiously hopeful, and You is relatable and heartbreaking. I like how sometimes the poems feel like they are not just telling but speaking to a subject if that makes sense - like there's a dialogue quality to some of them which I think lends them more voice.

Perfect note to end on too with the butterfly poised to emerge; an end, but also a beginning. Love that! <3 Congratulations!! These were really nice to read this month.