I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

"Oh, that's probably because the blade senses its hilt nearby!" Amy popped up from her hiding spot with a shower of confetti. "And wow, that's a beautiful gradient!"

"That wizard did say it was the Sword of the Rising Sun or something..." Valeri stared at the sword. It certainly looked magical...

The whispers became more insistent, and the blade started to tug Vendetta towards the stairs.

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"Okay, buddy! Up the stairs." Vendetta climbed up the stairs, opening up the hatch and looking around. "Alright, it's safe. You two can come up." They opened the hatch, fully stepping onto the museum's ground floor.

The museum was bright and lively, and Valeri tried to act confident as the trio joined the crowd on the main floor. A couple of people gave them odd glances, especially at the colorful blade in Vendetta's hands, but most were too busy admiring the various exhibits in glass cases.

"Think we need a map, or is the blade enough of a guide?"

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The blade surged forward, almost making Vendetta fall over. "I think the blade's enough of a guide." It shot forward, dragging them through the aisles.

Valeri muttered apologies to the people they nearly bowled over. “Blade, you think you could slow down a little?”

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The blade whispered again before reaching a halt in front of a wall of hilts. Some were carved woods, and others were steel or silver. At the epicentre of the display was a single, slightly rusted hilt. There was a small indent in the centre as if there were a piece that would fit exactly there.

“I suppose that’s the hilt.” Valeri glanced around. “Feel like stealing this thing, or…?” She glanced at a nearby security guard and gulped. “Or maybe not.”

Suddenly, a tour guide walked into the room. “Alright, moving on… Here we have our museum’s prized collection of hilts.” She gestured towards the wall that the trio was standing in front of.

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“I can distract them again!” Amy pulled out two fistfuls of confetti out of her pockets, some stray pieces drifting to the floor, a big grin plastered on her face.

“You seem very excited to hurt them.” Vendetta narrowed their eyes at the hilt. “Can’t we just buy it from the museum or something? Josephinzo must be rich since he’s such a great wizard.”

Amy shook her head. “Joesphinzo Knight VII, High Wizard of the entire world and master of all things magic, will not fund your quest. This is your chance to own your prophecy.” She giggled. “You should have a chance to do things on your own.”

Valeri pursed her lips. “Sounds like an excuse. Useless, cheapskate wizard.” She glanced at where the museum guide was explaining the origins of each hilt. “Maybe we can negotiate with the museum or something? I mean, clearly the hilt and this blade belong together.”

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Amy grinned. “You guys are so boooorring. But it’s fine. Tell them about your magic dawn blade so they’ll take it away from you, and you’ll never see it again.”

Vendetta clutched their bag. “You really think they’d do that?”

Amy nodded. “Oh, absolutely!” She giggled. “You’d fail your mission immediately!”

"So... what's left, then?" Valeri frowned and lowered her voice. "A museum heist?"

"Ooh, how fun!" Amy's eyes sparkled. "But how do you plan to go about that, quest newbie?"

"Okay, well, first of all, I resent being called a newbie. And second... when does this museum close?"

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Amy whipped a piece of paper out of her pocket, showering confetti to the floor. “It closes in two hours!” She bounced on her toes, giggling madly. “Are we going to wait until then?”

Vendetta shrugged. “I mean, if the museum’s going to steal the blade, we might as well steal the hilt first.”

For the next hour and a half, the trio wandered through the exhibits. There were collections of paintings, sculptures, weaponry, and magical artifacts. One museum guard eyed their blade suspiciously, perhaps wondering if it was stolen from an exhibit, but the trio did their best to give him some innocent smiles, and he eventually turned his attention to some teenage fairies who were trying to make a sculpture float.

Once it was thirty minutes to closing, people started trickling out of the museum. "We should probably find a place to hide," Valeri said.

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“I saw some kilns in the Ancient Civilization exhibit we might be able to squeeze in.” Vendetta examined a shiny emerald, rubbing their hands nervously together.

Amy grinned. “I can take care of the guards.” She skipped towards Vendetta’s bag, poking the indent of the blade. “Or you can use this beautiful thing and have some fun!”

Valeri eyed Amy warily. "Aren't you supposed to be one of the good guys? I don't think hurting innocent guards should be part of our quest..."

Amy pouted. "But that blade is so cool, and shiny, and sharp... Ugh. You guys are no fun."

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