I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

Vendetta carefully picked up the letter, receiving a face full of sparkles for their troubles. “Since you haven’t been arrested, it’s time for the next piece of the sword! You’ll find it in a museum in San Francisco! Amy knows the way!”

The letter burst into little sparkles, making Vendetta sneeze. They wiped their nose. “Who’s Amy?”

The girl giggled. “I am, silly! You never asked for my name.”

“Oh.” Valeri groaned. “Great, so we’re stuck with this girl—“

“Amy,” Amy supplied.

“—for however long it takes for us to get the hilt?”

Amy exclaimed, “That’s right!”

“…Fine. Let’s get this over with, then. But how exactly are we supposed to get from L. A. to San Francisco?”

Amy’s grin had a sharp edge. “We have a couple options. One! We hitchhike. Boo-ring. Two! We steal a car. Much more interesting. Or three! The most interesting of all: we use the super-secret fairy-approved totally-not-dangerous Portal of the Midday Sun.”

(90 words)

“Could you explain all of this sun imagery?”

Amy shrugged. “The sun’s bright. It’s good! But I’ll take that as a vote for throw amazing portal!” She whipped out a small yellow sphere out of her pocket.

“Hey, wait a second—“

“Not a second to waste!” Amy pulled the siblings to the entrance of a nearby alleyway, then flipped the sphere up into the air. It expanded rapidly until a sunshine-yellow circle was hovering in front of the trio. A couple of homeless fauns and humans looked up at the shining portal, but Amy quickly dragged Valeri and Vendetta through the Portal of the Midday Sun, and it closed behind them with a pop.

(77 words)

Vendetta stumbled into what appeared to be a basement full of dusty crates. The soft hum of voices echoed above, footsteps making the ceiling creak. They dusted themselves off as Amy walked through, clutching Valeri’s wrist tightly. “Hey, Amy. Where are we?”

“Ohh, this must be where the museum stores their old relics! Interesting place to end up.”

Valeri shook her wrist out of Amy’s grip and frowned. “You mean you didn’t know exactly where the portal would take us?”

Amy ignored the question. “D’you suppose the hilt is here, or in one of the displays upstairs?”

(55 words)

Vendetta shrugged. “I guess it depends on what it looks like. If it’s really shiny and cool looking, it’s probably upstairs. If it’s all old and rotten, it’s either down here or in the dump.”

Amy giggled. “Oh, you silly little prophecy squirt! It’s a magic, prophetic sword! Why would it be broken and gross?”

“Oh, wonderful. We’ve got to go upstairs.” Valeri looked around and found a set of wooden steps winding up one wall. “Those stairs look pretty unsteady…”

“We’ll just be careful, then!” Amy bounded to the bottom of the staircase.

Suddenly, there was a loud creak, and a shaft of light illuminated the room. “Where are those extra towels…” someone muttered.

(60 words)

Vendetta dived behind a crate, clutching their bag close to their chest.

Two people descended down the stairs, one holding a flashlight and the other with a clipboard tucked under their arm. “God, I always hate how it smells here.”

“I know, right?” The person with the flashlight reached the bottom of the stairs and paused. “Hey, is that confetti? I thought we told the interns to stop setting up surprise birthday parties in here.”

Valeri glared at Amy, who widened her eyes in an expression of innocence. They hunkered down and tried to make themselves smaller behind the crates.

The person with the flashlight swept it across the room, then sighed. “Flora, do you remember where Patrick put those cleaning supplies?”

(82 words)

Flora hummed. “I think Patrick keeps them in the supply closet behind those crates. I don’t know why he tries to hide it.”

A sharp, muffled whisper emitted from Vendetta’s bag, echoing throughout the small basement.

“Hey, did you hear that?”

"Yeah..." The guy with the flashlight shone it around the basement. "Sounded creepy... you don't think this basement's haunted, do you?"

"Probably best to grab those supplies and get out of here." The museum workers hurried towards the back of the room, winding around crates and occasionally cursing as they stubbed their toes on the uneven floor.

Suddenly, just as they opened the supply closet, the blade whispered again. Flora gulped audibly. "Is... Is anyone there?"

(76 words)

Vendetta covered their mouth, clutching the bad even closer.

“Flora, grab the supplies and go! I’m not about to end up on Exorcist.” The guy with the flashlight headed back towards the stairs.

"Eek!" Flora hurriedly grabbed something from the closet, then followed her partner up the stairs.

Once they were gone, Valeri breathed a sigh of relief, though just in case, they waited a few more minutes. Eventually the coast seemed clear, and she said, "So... I suppose we should sneak upstairs now?"

(51 words)

Vendetta took out the sword from their bag, squeaking in surprise. The blade was now an array of pastel yellows and pinks, like a sunrise. “I swear it was just plain steel before.”

A whisper echoed around the room again, almost seeming to come from the sunrise sword itself.