Corrupt a Wish [3]

In Corrupt a Wish, the idea is to corrupt someone's wish.
Someone wishes and the next person corrupts it.

Ex.

1.) I wish I had a million dollars
2.) Granted but it's conterfeit.

And you keep doing this until the end of eternity, or something.

I'll start!

I wish I didn't have to write lab reports.

Granted; you have to write a novel every month.

I wish the Corrupt a Wish 2 thread wasn't locked now.

Granted, but nobody posts on it

I wish I could bring pictures to life

Granted, but they're pictures of beasts and creatures that leap out and eat you.

I wish I could read faster.

Granted; you read so fast the pages catch on fire.

I wish I could ace my history test today and NOT fail any of my other tests.

Granted, but now you spend every day all day taking history exams.

I wish I was a rock star!

Granted, but then you do the rock star thing and get addicted to drugs and die.

I wish I was a movie star.

Granted, but you get so obsessed with your appearance that you spend all your time getting plastic surgery.

I wish I could talk to animals.

Granted, but now they run away from you.

I wish I had super powers!

Granted, but then you lose your free time and your social time and you spend all your time saving people, even if you don't like them!

I wish I didn't have to go to school ever.

Granted; obviously, you don't get a good education, can't go to college, and can't have a career.

I wish I sparkled in the sunlight.

Granted, but you sparkle so bright you blind everyone.

I wish I had brownies in the house.

Granted, but you have to feed them.

I wish I had a brownie to help around the house.

Granted, but he charges $10 an hour.

I wish I had a brownie. The kind you eat.