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Plagiarizers should be put inside a pit hole

of job hunting..get none..got screwed...why..i don't know..I tried..hard..now I'm tired.

I'm infatuated, no matter how much I try to surpass it. I wait patently for you to say something to me, but I can't tell you what I really think or how I really feel.
Every word you say to me fills me with serenity.
You know more to me than I know myself.
You help me without trying. You make me smile when I want to cry. You make me laugh when I want to scream.
We see eye to eye. You're my missing half.
But yet, I must stay silent.
Because, you know, you live about 3548 miles, 5710 kilometers away from my reach.

Sky. Damn. That's exactly how I feel right now. I don't want to go into detail, but yeah. I'm a goner. Aphrodite finally got me.

I decided to rant here anyway, hoping it might make me feel a little better. I'd curse Aphrodite to Tartarus if I weren't afraid of what might happen to me. Makeup and skimpy clothes for eternity? *shudders* But here goes nothing.

However I try to spin it, I know I'm... well, for lack of a better word, crazy about this person. Cheesy as it sounds, chance brought us together, and since then, we've been best friends. I wait for him to say something, to take the first step. But I know he never will, because the chances of him feeling the same are pretty much zero.

We bonded together so well, it surprised me. Now, I wouldn't let him go for the whole world. He's not like any other friend I have or had: similar to me, but different, definitely different as well. I laugh when I remember something he said yesterday. Everybody looks at me weird then, but that's nothing new.

We talk endlessly together, though recently our talks have been fizzling into nothing. It's partly because I'd love to ask him about everything under the sun, but I don't want to be rude or poke my nose into stuff. He's so unlike anyone I've ever met.

And that's definitely not a bad thing. I usually have pretty bad taste in best friends: two of the five I've had so far were... but that's a rant for another day. Point is, this guy is different. The way I feel about him is different. And it terrifies me.

no idea....sad,mad,despondent....thats what I am feeling lately, its echoing in my head, and I wanted to let it out...but if i do so, i'll break down, which i cant be...you destroyed a part of me, your broke my soul once, i dont know how to get over it completely but i am trying, and now I think that you are screwing me, if you do so, i will hunt you, and i'll crash your soul, the way you crashed mine, i cant forgive you, i just cant, you have no idea, you have no idea,,,i trusted you, i trusted your words...why did i even bother when i knew the nature of your attitude..why did i even..)god forgive me),------- i want to tear you from limb to limb to limb to limb to limb!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm coming here a lot today... Meh. This isn't really a rant, but yeah.

I have so much work to do... Okay, it isn't that much, but I have to read a Shakespearean play and a really boring and confusing classic, write their summaries, figure out a way to change both of their endings, make a literary map on each of them (Can someone please tell me what a literary map is?I tried searching on Google and the searches all contradict each other), write what I liked about the book, AND do the rest of my homework (which isn't that much, really) in less than 48 hours.

I'm dying over here, if only because of the classic. Unlike a lot of people, I don't have any bones to pick with Shakespeare; he's cool. But the classic? *massive headache* It's Ben-Hur: A Tale of Christ by Lew Wallace. It gives me such a headache mostly because of all the extra-fine, useless detail and the religious stuff. I'm an atheist, and I know next to nothing about Christianity, Judaism, etc. etc. and it's killing me.

...I think I'll just go ahead and finish up my other homework so that I at least have something done. But if anyone's read this and knows where I can find an abridged version, please tell me.

Oh, I'm glad someone feels the same way, Tomorrow.

Sky: Same here. You put it better than I ever could.

I just found out that my friend and her family were in a car accident. Her parents were killed instantly. Her younger brother and she are no longer in a critical condition, thank whoever there is out there (I doubt there is).

They were driving to some place in a taxi. It was around 8 or 8:30 at night, dark as it always is here. A truck driver was coming from the opposite direction at a high speed, like 120 km/hr (pretty damn high). He was overconfident, probably drunk and didn't have his headlights on. They crashed on a narrow bridge. I didn't want to know the details, but my friend barely escaped with her life.

Her brother is less critical. His jaw and nose were broken and his arm was fractured, among a few other minor injuries. He's awake now, but not speaking. My friend, I might as well tell you her name is Kavya, is still in the ICU. Her face was completely ruined and her kneecaps were broken. She had a head injury, internal bleeding, and a few minor injuries to her spinal cord. Neither of them know that their parents are no more.

Luckily, their neighbors were very helpful, and took care of everything until my friend's relatives arrived. My friend is still unconscious, but she'll live. The situation was critical two days ago, when I had no knowledge of this.

When another one of my friends texted me this, I was in total disbelief. I just couldn't close my jaw. Then I was sure she was messing with me. Then I called her and found out it was all true. Most of the school knows, and our administrator (she's really caring) is already at the hospital. One girl slipped and fell when she heard the news, she was so shocked. Another couldn't stop crying. Now, I'm convinced that the best people always have the worst luck.

Kavya was everything you could ask for. Kind, sweet, innocent, funny, charming, actually gives a damn about her grades, beautiful but doesn't know it, and a very good friend. It was impossible to hate her. All the teachers loved her. None of the students were capable of hating her. She never did anything wrong to anyone. A proverbial angel. Even the bad boy of our class with the defiant don't-care attitude came to her farewell party. Even when he didn't care much for her or her 'group' (yep, we have the typical segregation of students in my school).

And then this happens to her. If I did believe in God before, I certainly don't now. If there was a god, how the hell could he let this happen? Damn the fuckers who say that everything happens for the best! Do you think that this was for the BEST?! No one deserves something like this, least of all my friend. She was too nice.

She's in a hospital in a city more than a few hours away from here. I'd go there right now if I could, but I've told my mother that I WILL visit her over the weekend, whether they agree or not. Whether they come or not, though they probably will agree and come. I'll make them. It might be harder to convince my dad, seeing as he didn't really know her. But my mom did.

What I feel... I'd rather not talk about that, because I have to stay calm. I must stay calm, if only for the sake of everyone else who was closer to her than I. Someone has to be the anchor for all the crying girls and guys that are trying hard not to cry. Someone who cared enough to cry, that is.

And so here I am, gripping my Coke can as tight as I can, leaving dents in it, feeling like I could use something much stronger than Coke. Brandy, maybe, or whiskey, even though I'm underage. I felt like someone attached a ton of lead to my heart. My gut feels weightless and empty, and my head is spinning with the effort of not breaking down. Depression is enough. But more than anything else, I feel guilt.

Guilt that I wasn't a better friend to her. Guilt that I didn't consider her as a really good friend. But mainly guilt that I'm not more upset over this. Ad lots of guilt that I could go to her right now except for this goddamned holiday homework.

I feel so ashamed of myself right now. I'm so selfish! I was ranting over here about fucking summer assignments I'm too fucking lazy to do and because I procrastinate like hell! I was worried about how I'd wake up for school two days later! I was worried about my goddamn hair! And she's lying in the ICU, unconscious, and completely unaware that her parents are dead! I feel ashamed or everything. What kind of a friend am I?

I'd apologize for swearing, but right now I don't give a fuck.