New & Improve: Rant Shop - Relocated

HAVE YOU EVER FEEL EMPTY FOR NO REASON, LIKE ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU FEEL GLOOMY, SAD, UPSET. IM TIRED OF MAKING "THE PAST" AS EXCUSE OF WHY LIFE HAPPENS THIS WAY. BUT SOMETIMES PAST JUST STRIKES ON MY HEAD. IT'S JUST, AN UGLY PAST YOU KNOW. IM JUST GLAD I DIDN'T TRUSTED YOU MY EVERYTHING D. YOU AREN'T WORTH IT. I KNEW YOUR BETRAYALS THAT'S WHY I ENDED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. I SAID A LOT OF BAD THINGS TO YOU, CALLED YOU A MONSTER AND SUCH BUT I WILL NEVER REGRET IT. I JUST HOPE YOU WILL NOT THREAT ME AGAIN, OR ELSE, I MIGHT SHOW YOU MY DEEPEST DARKNESS.STOP SENDING ME CLICHE ABOUT HOW BAD YOU FELT AFTER YOU FORCED ME TO SIGNED THOSE PAPERS. IM DONE WITH YOU, AND I WASN'T HAPPY WITH YOU. I DON'T WANNA BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN, BECAUSE I KNOW, IF I DO, I WOULD BE THE SAME MORALESS MONSTER LIKE YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE, FOREVER

Yesterday was a tough day, it killed me, and Im still dead right now..studied French and the basic of programming, then i had to repair my computer and went insane with the codes. the fact that the bank is holding my salary for long is not good, man my dad and i need to eat..so frustrating, and someone said he will buy few of my paypal funds but then didn't do so..which means, I only have a few penny left..ah..the dilemma of financial problems.

So some days, I just want to kill myself. Maybe get drunk, get high, and then whack my head off. What exactly am I doing here? No, really. Because, I see people like my friends.
One of my friend's family doesn't have any money to send her to college, but she's determined to go, so she got a full time job and she's joining evening college for classes. I'm sure she'll make it.
Most of my other friends are preparing for their entrances, while I'm sitting and reading manga, six days before one of the most importent exams of my life!
Another on of my friends has already left the country to pursue her dreams.
Yet another on has just been accepted into Google's summer of code program.

I feel ashamed of myself when I see people like this, and then I wonder why I was born. I'm actually a waste of space, aren't I? And then I go do something like this...
I'm glad my sister's around. At least ther is one person my parents can put their faith. 'Cause honestly, let's face it. I'm a failure.

And let's not mention that I just found out that the guy I've loved for 8 years loves someone else. Yeah, I'm over him, but it still stings just a little bit.

I feel so terrible right now. My dad is sick and I can't do anything about it because of financial prob stuff. %^#$#@...I don't know. I have a project that is supposed to be done yesterday but i wasn't able to finish it. just the half of it. there is soooooooooo much in my mind..i hate it when my ex betrayal cross my mind..i went blank and empty..this is whats bottling up.

when we were still arguing, i checked my old email, he was using it..then i found out that he sent a letter to the korean gov asking them to make him a part of their army whatsoever, he didn't told me about it, i bottled it up, then i found out that he was talking to that b!tch who is not his girlfriend.he talked behind my back and i fricking feel so damn betrayed!..it echos in my mind sometimes and it still makes me cry everyday..im so stupid to trust such monster..then he try to acts the victim around trying to filter his mess, trying to act that it is all my faulT..what he was mad is because i coulnd't find any job and he wants me to work. well..! you monster.! when you where here in Philippines I work at night shifts, I come home rushing even at midnights when you were sick ! you ungrateful liar! you keep on counting the things i OWED you behind my back and in my front you always said I dont owe you a dime? Im mad at you! you should thank that I am still holding my grudge cos if I let this out you will be dragging on your knees right now!!! suck it up! damn you, I'm not going to let you hurt me again. EVER...gehh..why promise to a girl to make her a queen and at the end you will want her to work he bum off! im so done with you!

I'm sick of impatient people. I'll get to it when I get to it. Sorry if I don't happen to have the massive amount of time on my hands as it seems you do, but I actually have other things to do. I was told to prioritize and I did. Once again, I apologize if doing what you want when you want it done isn't at the top of my list.

I'm sick of the people close to me. I am who I am. I don't need you changing that, or hinting that I should. Yes, I have no life. Yes, I'm absolutely fine with that. Yes, I have a problem. Yes, I'm obviously trying to fix it. I don't need to be nagged into getting help. I'm very well aware of what's happening with me and what needs to happen. If I wanted a blinking reminder, I would have asked.

I'm sick of research papers, of not being able to write down my opinion about something without being deducted a few points. I don't care about the use (if there is one) of research papers in my future or whether or not I'll ever need to use the information collected about the tragic elements in both Antigone and Julius Caesar. I don't care! If the world ends tonight, what good will knowing about these things do for me? Nothing.