Booty Shorts

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Nope, that is not a picture of me, and I have no idea who that woman is...
I just pasted it from Google. No editing or handling- all credits to Google and junk.

Poem Background

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Why a poem about booty shorts, anyway?

I'm a girl, and I'm just really sick of seeing others of my fellow gender buy undersized, short, tight, and ugly shorts to get guys.
It's degrading and gross ( regardless of whether or not guys like it).
I didn't make this poem to "start" something or cause controversy- feel free to dress how you like, but I just had to let this rant off of my chest.



Please enjoy and review as custom dictates...

BOOTY SHORTS

Girl, take off those booty shorts.
They're not built to look cute, they're made for sports.

I know that you want to keep up with the "style",
but those are a size six.. and it's been a while...

Please buy some decent clothing that's in your size.
Those cellulite bumps-they burn my eyes...

Why do you treat coverin' up like a deadly sin?
I only enjoy my food when I can keep it in.

You do it for guys? -Your motive is wrong.
Because the kind of guys you'll get won't last that long-

-and neither will those shorts-'cuz they'll start poppin'
And once they start, there ain't no stoppin'.

I shouldn't be looking? Well, you shouldn't be wearin'.
Those shorts you have on can make a priest start swearin'.

What's worse?

The fact that you love them, or the fact that I hate them?
We'd all be better off if you just burned them or ate them...

Or at least lotion-up if you exhibit your thighs.
Moisturize, please- preserve all our eyes.

I'll put it simply, what would your momma do?
I'm sure she wouldn't want to see this much of you.


POEM/END

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Please be respectful in your reviews, and I apologize if you feel offended- but focus on the actual poem, not personal attacks or debates, please.

( and if you like it, please click like for me,lol.)

Thanks!

-Jojo

I love this poem, and totally agree with the message! I like the way you've taken a serious point and conveyed it in a humorous way, and the rhythm and style seemed almost effortless. Brilliant work!

This poem flows well..And I see where you are coming from. But to be honest this poem seems a bit too judgmental for my taste. Sure, people do dress provocatively, but its their choice to do so. Your use of rhyme is good though, i think you've definitely got a knack for writing poems.

Hey Jojo, here as requested!

First off, I think you've got a good message and a humorous piece that conveys your feelings without coming across as too conservative, and I like that. So good job!

I'm not much for reviewing poetry, so I can't give you any good tips there; I'm just going to focus on the content. There were a couple of parts that I didn't quite get:

Why do you treat coverin' up like a deadly sin?
I only enjoy my food when I can keep it in.

What's that last line supposed to mean? Are you saying that the sight of too-short shorts makes you want to vomit? It seems to be out of place in the whole subject of this poem.

We'd all be better off you just burned them or ate them...

Or at least lotion-up if you exhibit your thighs.
Moisturize, please- preserve all our eyes.

Now, the part in bold doesn't seem to fit; it actually feels like you're contradicting everything you've just been saying. You're telling girls that it's not worth it to wear those booty shorts, the motives are bad, and that it'd be better off to burn them -- and then you're saying, "Well, if you're not going to do that, then go ahead and make your legs shine and look nice." I know that you mean to say that their legs aren't that appealing to look at -- but it's also encouraging them to then do something to change that. Do you see how that comes across as confusing? It's like a parent telling their child that he cannot have sweets, and then after expostulating over it, finally relenting and "compromising" by giving the child something like a graham cracker.

Also, your lines "What's worse?" and "And neither do we" seem out of place; you kept a good rhythm going throughout the rest of the piece and these just feel awkward and misplaced. Just my opinion, though, and as I said, I'm not really a poetry person.

Well, that's all I've got to say! Great work, Jojo, keep it up! Cheers. :]

Great message and very funny!

I agree. I'm a guy and I don't even like seeing that much skin on a girl. I have eyes for a glorious soul, not a glorious body. Too bad there aren't too many good hearts out there any more.

One nitpick:

We'd all be better off if you just burned them or ate them...

Just add the "if" in there.

Very well written!

~H.

XD XD XD XD


I just love that picture, for one! I also love the topic and how you conveyed your message. I agree totally with what you said about booty shorts (gross).
Your rhyming was pretty good, not stressed much but a tad bit in one or two areas. Punctuation and grammar were great too. Some things I did not get...

I know that you want to keep up with the "style",
but those are a size six.. and it's been a while...

Hilarious!!!!

Why do you treat coverin' up like a deadly sin?
I only enjoy my food when I can keep it in.

The last line I don't quite get...



That's about it. Great poem!

Oh my God, haha.
I don't feel that I can give this a legitimate review, as I enjoyed it far to too much. It made me laugh, it had great rhythm, and your rhymes seemed effortless. No grammatical or spelling mistakes that I noticed, either.
Also, completely agree with you. Thank you for putting a smile on my face.

Hahaha, this was so epic. My only nitpick is that the last line sounds a little out of place. I think that if you cut out the last line it would sound a little better.
Great job!!

Hahaha, this poem just made my day! It was great. I agreed with every single word of it. The only part I wasn't too fond of was the very end....

XxJoJoxX wrote:And neither do we.

I didn't like it. It seemed out of place and abrupt.

But, everything else was perfect. And, the picture just made it even more complete!!! lol.

Ok first off, I found this poem hilarious.

I'm a girl, and I don't even wear those shorts.
(I'm not allowed to, plus I wouldn't wear them if I was allowed XD)

And I agree with the part where you said something like about the girls wearing shorts to attract the guys, but they won't last long?
Basically, that is true, cause if then the guy is attracted by your looks and not yourself.
(Did that make sense?? I hope -.-")

And I find those shorts disturbing.
My mom says they are "smiling to the world", if you know what I mean.

Anyways back to the actual poem...
I found it amusing, and funny, and it got your thoughts out.
It was cool.
It almost sounded like some sort of rap with a nice beat to it. XD
And I think the picture of the lady had a nice touch, as if she was the one saying the poem XD I don't know if you understood that.

LOL! This was funny!

I think the last line seemed a little bit out of place (since it didn't rhyme or anything) but I totally agree with the poem. I hate how these are the only shorts available for juniors! It's awful. So, you either have old lady clothes or ridiculously tight lady clothes. Not cool! Though, I have to say, this year I have been lucky and I found a brand that had decent shorts and skorts that were light, somewhat conservative, and flattering in all the right ways.

Seems like everyone thinks that the last line is out of place
*removes*

Hey JoJo!

I'm not much of a poet (project for the summer) but I loved the message! I'm so sick of people wearing shorts so short that their but is literally falling out.

As for the writing, I couldn't find any blaring issues.

The one thing that did strike me though, was how it sounds like a rap. I don'k know if that was what you were aiming for, but I like it!

Awesome poem!

--Bee--

This was nothing short of genius. It was hilarious. I adore it.

Please buy some decent clothing that's in your size.
Those cellulite bumps-they burn my eyes...

To quote 4chon, ehem, "OH GOD I LOL'D"

Yeah. This was amazing. Please, keep it up.

Hahaha I loved the rhymes and rythm of this poem. Plus, it was humourous too! Awesome, keep up the good work! =)