All my life i've been searching for somethin',
something never comes never leads to nothin',
nothin satisfies but i'm gettin' close,
closer to the prize at the end of the rope.
All night long I dream of the day,
when it comes around and it's taken away,
leaves me with the feelin' that I feel the most,
feel it come to life when I see your ghost.
Earthquake, yes there were a big earthquake that went camboom! And like, destoyed stuff which was also like, big. It destroyed this big fingymigjig. It had these things that were big too so like, I almost got hit by this thingy which was big. Yer it was big, I werent scared or nothin...
bawahahaha, dont mess with da master!
I don't kow how to start this but yer but no but yer but no I didn't find a way.
Yeah, basically the worst opening line ever would be something completely random that makes no sense, is very bad in grammar and such, etc. Now, try to make a REALISTIC worst first line, eh?
Matilda didn't like her sixth grade teacher all that much, especially since all he did was talk about the most boring things. Her mother says that if she thinks someone is boring, it's probably because she is the boring one. Maybe that's why these sentences are boring. Maybe it's because I'm boring. Am I boring you? I hope not, if you're bored now, just wait until you read the rest of this book!
A little bit over the top of one sentence. Let me try again:
I'm going to tell you, in this 4,189 word book, how much I have acomplished in life.
I think I have one:
I don't know exactly how to write the worst opening line ever...
There once was a handsome man. There was a pretty lady. They fell in love.
*gags* Just awful
The other one is actually the worst ending to a story.
And they lived happily ever after...
Ever lived in the real world? Eh, no, they did not live happily ever after... just doesn't happen on earth. Terrible, awful, outrageous ending!
I HATE stories with those endings!
This story ends with the ugly protagonist being killed in a flaming car because his co-worker/ex-lover who ended up with his more handsome rival lit the $100,000 worth of marijuana he had stashed in the trunk and the money he would have gotten from selling it was supposed to pay his last ten mortgage payments so his wife and kids were evicted and she spent her life savings on booze and gave some to the kids and the daughter ended up killing her baby brother while she was high and the mother got pissed at the daughter so she killed her and now she's spending the time until the trial sleeping with the handsome rival.
And now for a much shorter one.
This book will self-destruct in 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...*explosion.* Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to read this once you're treated for those 3rd-degree burns. You just HAVE to find out what happens next.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
Everything was fine in the farm -- the cows were mooing, the sheep were baaing, the pigs were oinking, the birds were chirping, the dogs were barking, the cats were meowing, the chickens were clucking, the rooster was cock-a-doodling, the frogs were croaking, the donkeys were braying, the horses were baying -- but something was wrong.
Honest to God, I wrote that for a story once.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
