Try making up bad intros that contradict themselves like the examples at the beginning. I.E. the one that gave a huge and accurate description of Marilee and then said that she defied description. LOL
Here's a really bad one:
Long white hair flapping loosely in the night breeze, dark face staring up at the sky, eyes blankly observing the stars, thin fingers grasping an old spellbook, tattered robes flowing slowly around him, the dead wizard felt the effects of a fireball gone awry.
She was standing on the medowy grass, her serene eyes gazing in his godly figure, she came closer to him, leaned towards him, eyes fixed upon eachother, closer and closer when she said:
-Jon you got a F- !
-But Mrs.Showmaker my mom is gonna kill me!
Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind.
Up the creaky, steep stairs she went, up,up,up,up,up,up,up,up,up,up,up,up,up,up,up,up, and, finally, up, into the darkness that descended upon the landing, she found a door that said, Ribbit, scmibbit, i'll do what I please, then she entered the dark, clammy, endless room where a skelton sat before the almighty glow of the eternally great and ever-powerful computer that had held her brother in its gaze until he ate no longer and rotted away in front of it, and on the screen was the last thing he had ever ordered the super-slow internet to do, the screen said, "Downloading file 'ccoooppyyymeeeeeee.wpd' 50% complete".
Like the super-run-on sentence? If you were able to follow it, I applaud you.
LOL runons are definitely the best of the worst. And I followed it pretty well, although I skipped about 5 words in the middle, which I always do for some reason in any paragraph.
This is a story. Stories are good. This story is good. This is a good story. This is a story of goodness. Goodness is what this story is about. Is this story good?
Read this book and you will want to puke, scream, run around in circles, poke your eyes out, eat your dog, smash your computer, run around the world naked, do backflips, hang yourself, then go and take over Hades once your dead.
Or maybe you will just fall asleep.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
'I'm a failure,' Tony thought as he picked a delightfully verdant string of snot from his gaping nostril and smeared it across the big "See Me," scrawled in red ink below the "F" on his history exam.
I started cracking up hysterically when I wrote this. I don't know why. It just hit me funny and I was rolling in laughter. LOL.
From falcon's wings thou cometh forth; to streams of fire, bringeth thee.
~Tul rhofal amruun;sarin naur siiir, tegi lyaa.
All my life i've been searching for somethin',
something never comes never leads to nothin',
nothin satisfies but i'm gettin' close,
closer to the prize at the end of the rope.
All night long I dream of the day,
when it comes around and it's taken away,
leaves me with the feelin' that I feel the most,
feel it come to life when I see your ghost.
