Critique Shop of Horrors

You probably don't know who I am. That's fair. I haven't been actively active on this site in ... ohh, about two years.

But when I was, I critiqued. My output isn't always great, but I try to be thorough with stories. Like, really thorough. This is a short critique for me. (This, if you're interested, is a long one.)

I will critique any fiction. That includes fanfiction. I won't critique poetry, photography, scripts, lyrics, whatever. Just fiction.

What I need you to do: Post a link to your story, maybe post a summary. And, most importantly, tell me what you want me to look at. If you're having difficulty with the dialogue, or the characters, and want help with that, let me know. If that's the only thing you want me to look at, let me know. Be specific.

I don't want anything in return. It may take me some time to get the critiques done, but I'll try and get 'em done quickly.

Let the fun begin! : )



Completed Critiques

Pandora's Box, by Snoink
Stop and Smell The Roses, by RGallagher
Prologue - Orilie Davis, by wisemann210
The Elves are Coming, by RGallagher
The 1st Chapter of Paradox Parade - Heirlooms, by SteviexOctopus
Habit, by Jiggity
Top Secret, by RGallagher
Gamma Ray (1), by Firestarter
Last Date., by Icaruss
First page of Sensing Wild, by peanutgallery007
Ghosts, by Mars
Space Adventure: The Star Gauntlet, by Ermixon
Nightly Terrors, by JFW1415

Dude... who DOESN'T want to be critiqued by you? <3

Pandora's Box

topic29067.html

It's about this guy and this girl and a bunch of other weird things. O_o

Anyway, the main concern is the style and such. I tried something new with it, but it's really abstract and strange and I'm not quite sure it works. So yeah. The style is the main concern. Of course, if you want to comment on anything else, that would be lovely too. ^_^

Stop and Smell the Roses
post482833.html

It's about a young boy who is kidnapped by a serial killer.

I'm trying to find any parts that are confusing, or lack detail and all that jazz. Also, if you notice any typos or grammar/punctuation mistakes, feel free to point them out since I have a habit of typing faster than I can think so my mechanics get a little out of whack. Hope you enjoy it.

Hokay. I just wrote Snoink's critique. RGallagher, you're next! : )

...and I'm done RGallagher's critique, which means that if anyone is looking for a review, I'm wide open.

www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic42369.html
It's Realistic Fiction, I would really appreciate it! (only 900 or so words.)
Entitled, 'Orilie Davis' - (Prolouge)

Thankyou!


---Jon---

Thanks for your review! Mind reviewing another one for me?

Title: The Elves are Coming
Genre: Other Fiction
Link: post492214.html
Word count: Around 615

Paradox Parade - Chapter One: topic41605.html

It's basically the beginning of Evelyn's extremely confusing and random adventure to save her sister. (Sorry, I don't have a better Summary.)

I mostly want to know the random questions that pop into your head as your reading it... Otherwise a basic review would be nice (how certain lines would sound better, what doesn't make sense, what's good, what's horrible, etc.) a line-by-line if you find that many mistakes.


(If you don't care about word count, I'm going to have to come back and ask for Chapter two, which is reaching 2,000 words, and not completed yet!)

Am I actually doing this? You betcha.

The piece is called Habit.

I wrote it for Clo's Monster Mash contest using picture prompt 8. Check that for reference if you like. I feel lazy. I feel as though its rubbish but I don't know why. Which is why I'm here, I guess. I want to hand and this in to my creative writing seminar in a few weeks, much improved.

EDIT: It's now in its second draft, somewhat improved in my opinion and I have little to no words left.

Cheers

All clear! Anyone else?

Hey! You can review another of mine if you're bored
topic42021.html
<3<3

Okay! So that took me a ridiculously long time because uni turned around and slugged me in the jaw, but I'm having a temporary lull so if anyone wants anything critiqued, let me know and I will try to get to it as quickly as possible!

RGallagher, your critique is here. Also, I skimmed back to the other stories that I reviewed for you and couldn't help noticing that you hadn't edited either of them at all — not just based on my critiques, but on other people's as well.

I don't expect anyone to use everything (or even anything, as long as you can justify your rationale) from my critiques, but I do expect that if you're requesting a critique, it's because you plan to revise your story. I don't mind doing a number of reviews for one person, but I at least expect that you will be reading my critiques and everyone else's critiques, seriously considering the input you're getting, and then tweak your story based on that. (Again, this doesn't mean you need to change your story based on my input, but just that you need to be planning to revise your story and that you genuinely want critiquing so that you can make the story better and stronger. In other words, so I'm not wasting my time.)

Okay, so I've probably just scared everyone off, but if anyone wants anything critiqued — let me know! : )

I'm gonna run the smaur gauntlet.

Here plz

Voila.

Anyone else? Eh eh eh?

Hello. Could you do me, please? I posted this and like most of my stuff it went unnoticed until it dissapeared from the first page of the Romantic Fiction section without any reviews. Normally I'd bump it back up myself but if you do it for me it would be a bit less pathetic.

It's called "Last Date" and I did it for Kylan's Hemingway contest.