Since this doesn't really fit into any of the other categories, I'll post it here. This is the first draft of something I wrote from a Writer's Digest prompt. I hope it doesn't suck too badly, though I know it probably does. Have fun tearing it to shreds, and feel free to stop by my 'review for food' thread and ask for a review! topic42126.html
The Elves are Coming
By: Ralph Gallagher
"Hannah!" Mom yelled up the stairs. "Hurry up!"
"Why do I have to go?" I asked as I walked downstairs.
Mom sighed as she brushed her brown hair from her eyes. "Because she's your sister," Mom said. "And you should be the one to pick out her present, not me."
I sighed. "Fine. Whatever." I grabbed my coat from the rack on the wall. "Let's get this over with."
I walked out the door towards her car. My mom sighed again and locked the front door before joining me in the car.
Mom drove us into the city to the mall.
I looked around all the packed parking lot. The outside of the mall was even decorated for Christmas. "We couldn't have gone somewhere else?" I asked.
Mom didn't even answer me; instead she pulled into a spot and turned the car off. "Come on," she said to me, "Let's get this over with."
The two of us walked into the crowded mall where we began searching for presents for my elder sister.
“Where are they?” I asked Mom when we got inside.
“They’re on the other side of the mall,” Mom replied. “No where near where we’ll be shopping.”
I nodded and followed Mom to a music store. Mom wanted to Kira some CDs, but since parents are generally tone deaf, I picked them out. My sister and I listened to the same type of music so it was easy to choose what she’d like.
“Why don’t you get Kira some clothes,” Mom suggested. “Let’s check Macys.”
Mom set off towards Macys without waiting for a response.
“Mom, Kira isn’t going to like anything from Macys,” I told her when I caught up.
“Oh nonsense,” Mom said shushing me with a wave of her hand. “Kira will love some of the outfits they have here.
Mom led me up and down the aisle as we looked at all the different outfits she thought were “cute”; a pink sweater, a baby blue shirt, light yellow pants. I knew Kira would never wear any of these things, she was a preppy, cheerleader type. She wouldn’t get caught dead wearing outfits from Macys.
We finally finished going up and down the aisle of the Macys clothing department and were about to head to American Eagle to look at clothes Kira would actually wear.
That's what I saw it. An elf. Standing right there in the store. It was looking right at me with its beady brown eyes and it's creepy pointed ears.
My breathing started to speed up. No, not here. It can't be here.
"Get it away!" I yelled out loud.
I lost control of my body and collapsed to the floor.
"Hannah!" I heard my mom shout. I could feel her by my side. "It's alright, Hannah. It's not real." She kept saying over and over.
I heard a store clerk run over to me. “Is she okay?” I heard him ask
I couldn’t hear Mom’s reply, the only thing I was able to hear was a steady thumping in my head.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The clerk must’ve gave Mom a bottle of water. I felt her tip the bottle to my mouth. I managed to open my mouth and take a mouthful of cool water.
After a few more drinks, I was able to sit up again. The thumping had stopped and I was able to hear again. A group of people had gathered around us.
“Should we call 911?” a woman asked.
Mom shook her head. “No, she’ll be fine.”
I looked around the store. "Where is it?" I asked.
"It's alright Hannah," she said. "It was just a picture."
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