Corrupt a Wish 2

Granted, but you has no chocolate.

I wish it wasn't so darned freezing out! >.<

Granted but now it's never cold again and you're stuck in a perpetually baking environment.

I wish our home wasn't so crazy.

Granted; you now have no home.

I wish I could sleep again.

Granted, but this time you sleep for a hundred years. And the only way you can wake up is for some dude to kiss you.

I wish I could find homes for all the animals at the local shelter!

Granted. They were very delicious.

I wish I'm not such a procrastinator! >.<

Granted, but now you have no time for anything else, because you are finishing all your millions of unfinished projects.

I wish my braces didn't hurt so dang bad.

Granted, but now your heart hurts. And that is a bajillion times worse.

I wish people weren't so judgmental.

Granted, but now they don't even notice you.

I wish I wasn't getting sick.

Granted, but now you are sick.

I wish for a magical pen that would draw brilliant and beautiful art without me having to do anything besides holding on.

Granted, but it doesn't give you any mental or emotional fulfillment because it's not really you who's creating it.

I wish I could shrink the moon and hang it like a disco ball in my room, WITHOUT screwing up all the tides.

Granted, but because you've done this, it means you're a bald man with a bad accent and a bunch of little yellow minions. (My little brothers just watched Despicable Me last night).

I wish I could speak French fluently and flawlessly.

Granted, but you can no longer speak any other language.

I wish for chocolate marzipan. Yum.

Granted, but instead of eating it, you get it poured all over you and it takes hours to get off.

I wish "The Grudge" didn't scare me so much. o_O

Granted, but now everything else scares you. And I mean everything.

Granted?

I wish that the person before me had left a wish so that this wasn't so awkward.