Funny Random Stuff

Hehe, funny, post them if you want but warn the members in your subject that they are like that and put OVER 13 or something.

wow, you are young, niteowl! i never would have realized unless you said something.. lol observant, i am not, unless it comes to Linden (my world) don't get me started! lol oh, shinny!

Time to liven up the thread a little, in honoring Tara/Puffthemagicdragon/Susan Caffrey, ah, what the hay, you don't know her but the people from YFW do!

I feed my llamas chicken flavored jelly beans, it helps them grow mohawks!

lol, ah yes, tara aka susan aka puff (very her, that is). so, hows saturdays, no firdays.. no, mondays! sound for threapy days? or was it tuesdays?

llamas with mokohawks? *runs away screaming*

Tara = puff? *writes down new nickname*

EBM.. you scare me.

HEY! How do you catch a unique rabbit?


Answer: UNIQUE UP ON IT!! (gotta read it out loud to get the full effect..)

How do you catch a tame rabbit?


Answer: Tame way, unique up on it! (Once again, read it out loud)

This is soooo funny! I came across it by chance on Writing.com the other day, and...oh here just read it.

>> I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This apparently was a real memo sent at a computer company to its employees in all seriousness...This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor! (Especially note last sentence...)

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit.) Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacture of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that one who replaces it have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Am I just too easily amused? Okay I am too easily amused I once found something funny in my history homework.

*rolls on the floor laughing*

Oh my god, oh my god. *Tries to control laughter* AHH! Oh...I actually laughed for about 5 minutes reading that, then when I quieted down I just remembered about it and started laughing again. ROTLF! Oh my god, that was so funny. How can they put "Any customer missing his balls should ask personnel", oh my god...its so funny.

I started laughing uncontrollably just trying to tell my friends the last sentence!

WARNING: I have decided, perhaps against my better judgement, to post the dirrty jokes, or at least some of them. Children under 13 should probably skip this next part. If you decide to read ahead, don't come crying to me. You have been warned.

Okay, let's start with the dirty blonde joke:

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all pregnant and in the waiting room for a checkup. The brunette says "I was on top, I'm going to have girls." The redhead said "I was on bottom, I'm going to have boys." The blonde said, "I'm gonna have dogs."

And another one:

A woman pregnant with triplets was shot three times in the stomach. Thankfully, she survived and so did the babies. All were born successfully, but they never did find the bullets.

Sixteen years later, one of the girls (there are two girls and one boy) comes up to her mom and says "Mom, I peed and a bullet came out." For some reason, the mother had never told the story of the shooting to her kids, and she finally told it to her daughter.

The next day, the second daughter comes in saying "I peed and a bullet came out." The mom explains what happened to her.

Later that night, the son comes in. "Let me guess: You peed and a bullet came out."

The son shook his head.

"Nope, I was masturbating and I shot the dog."

Oh here's my all time favorite dirty joke.

Okay so we all know the story of Neil Armstrong, how he landed on the moon, one small step for man, one ginat leap for mankind, bla bla bla. Well you probably didn't know that he later said "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

NASA checked to see if Mr, Gorsky was at NASA or a Russian cosmonaut. He turned out to be neither. This puzzled them for years until 1991, when Neil Armstrong felt he could explain since Mr. Gorsky had died.

When Neil was about 8 or 9, he was playing baseball in his backyard. His baseball went into his nighbor Mr. Gorsky's yard. As he went to pick it up, he couldn't help overhearing Mr. Gorsky fighting with his wife through the open window.

"Sex! You want sex!? You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

On a not-dirty side note, Mesh, the llamas aren't growing mokohawks. Those are....um....okay getting dirty again. NO THEY AREN'T YOU LITTLE SICK PERVERTS! Actually I don't know what they are. Does anybody know what mokohawks are.

ps mesh i know it was probably just a typo.

and here i thought i spelled that right.. must have been dreaming lol

bad jokes, very bad, niteowl.

A mokohawk?...

By the way, its a mohawk, and they are...well, I don't know how to explain it, but its a REALLY bad hairdo...look it up on google...but be warned, shield your eyes...

I know what mohawks are, I was asking what mokohawks are as a joke. For those of you who don't know, a mohawk is like a bunch of spikes that go down the middle of your head. They were also a Native American tribe, I think.

And Mesh, did you think my jokes were bad as in dirrty or bad as in just plain stupid, or both? And EBM, why didn't you have a reaction? Did your mommy not let you read them? My mommy didn't let me read them when I was 10 or 11 and I found them in her email. I read them anyway.

bad in a dirty way. (i'm still laughing)

For those of you who don't know, a mohawk is like a bunch of spikes that go down the middle of your head. They were also a Native American tribe, I think.

The haircuts are named after the tribe! That's what their tribemembers used to do have as their hair style, maybe to frighten enemies. I think the actual name is "mohican" though

Lol Niteowl those are great! And the mouse balls.. *cracks up* I gotta send that to my friends.. omg lol!