Funny Random Stuff

They are funny though. The Star Spangled Banner one was confusing the first time I read it but then I got the punchline after a few seconds of reading it again.

I'm glad you thought they were funny! wanna here the one about me and you?

Uh...me and you?...mm....uh....okay...

Okay this one's probably funnier when said, but I'll post it anyway. I'm warning you right now, it's incredibly stupid.

There was a middle-aged couple that had lived in the same house for years. One day some new neighbors moved in nextdoor. While the husband was in the kitchen, the wife answered the door.

"Hello," the young Oriental man said. "I'm Mi, and this is my wife Yu. Our house isn't fully furnished yet and we were wondering if we could spend the night."

"Oh of course!" the wife said. "Come on in! Honey, come and meet the new neighbors!" They all talked, but were noever properly introduced.

Early the next morning, Mi and Yu had to go to the bathroom, but the middle-aged couple was still sleeping and we didn't want to wake them by flushing the toilet. So they go outside and do their business... in the husband's prized garden.

The husband goes out and sees what's in his garden. He screams and his wife comes running over.

"Oh don't worry, it was probably just Mi and Yu."

The husband looked at her funny.

"We didn't do this honey."

"No, Mi and Yu, the people who came yesterday."

"We've been here for years."

The wife gave up. To this day, the husband doesn't understand that it was me and you. Or was it Mi and Yu? No, I think it was me and you. No it was...oh crap how did I spell it again?

Okay that was the lamest joke EVER! But...

I COMMAND YOU TO LAUGH!!!!!!! LAUGH I SAY, LAUGH! THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST JOKE YOU EVER HEARD! IF YOU DON'T...BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jk i know it's lame.

Hmm....uh....o-okay...ha...ha?

Oh so thats why it was called the joke about me and you! I thought it was Me and You...well, thats better....I thought it was a joke about something....unnatural...

Yay, Nate downloaded the new smilie that I told him to! :thumb:

Oh. Dear. God.

Geesh, don't you people read the fine print. It says: Jk I know it's lame. I suppose I should have added: It's okay not to laugh. It is. Seriously. I don't even remember why that one was funny. Then again, many of my overly told dumb jokes, even the funny ones, lose their funniness. Like this blonde joke:

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead came up to a mirror that would suck you up if you lied. The brunette says "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." and gets sucked into the mirror. The redhead says "I think I'm the smartest girl in the world." and she gets sucked into the mirror. The blond says "I think..." and she gets sucked into the mirror.

I bet you've heard that one before. In fact, you've probably heard most of mine before...I don't know a whole lot of good blonde jokes, except this one:

A blond walks into a store in Louisiana where they're selling alligator boots. The blonde decides the prices are outrageous and asks the clerk where she can find some alligators.

"Uh...there's a swamp over by that bridge."

The clerk was driving over that bridge on his way home when he notices the blonde fighting an alligator in the swamp. She kills it, turns it on its back, and lines it up next to a bunch of other dead alligators.

"Darn" she says. "That one didn't have any boots on it either."

Uh...I don't really get the last one, but the first one was pretty funny.

She was looking for boots on the alligator. You ever seen an alligator wearing boots?

Uh...maybe...

I still don't get it...

lets bring some life into this ole thread! YAY RANDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
gaslgjbalieutgaouiwb liawubk a wop bam a looma a wop bam boom
Come on people this is fun!

lol, i think i like this thread...i have soem blond jokes, and what day is therapy now? (note: these all all ment for fun) adn randomness!

ok, two blondes and a brunette are mountaian climbing. they are not using hooks or anything, just a rope. the three are then left hanging from the rope. a helicopter comes to rescue them, but only has room for two people. the brunette says "i'll jump so you can live." the blones start clapping.

old, tired, and told wrong (i think.. ) but still..

two blonds walk into a bar.

what do you call a blonde with died hair? artifical intelligence.

some of my best friends are blonde one of them told all of these to me.

ebm, you love advarks, huh?

Hehehe, well not really....but llamas, now thats completely another thing....

not the llamas!

What's wrong with llamas? They're so cute, and cuddly, and I gotta catch 'em all...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! They are making me revert to the third grade when I ate, slept, breathed, lived Pokemon! And they are hypnotizing me! HELP!!!!!.

Anyway, I have heard a similar joke, Mesh, except there were twenty blondes and they were hanging from a vine. Here is another old tired joke (practically everyone I told has heard it.)

A blonde walked into a store when she saw this really neat TV set on sale. She asked the clerk what the sale price was, and he said "We don't sell to blondes."

So the blonde dyed her hair dark and went to the store the next day. She asked the clerk how much the TV was, and he said "We don't sell to blondes."

This didn't stop her. She not only dyed her hair again, she put on way different make-up, created some fake blemishes, and took on a now wardrobe. Her own mother didn't recognize her.

She went to the store again and asked what the new TV price was and he said "We don't sell to blondes." This frusturated the blonde. "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

The clerk said "Because it's a microwave."

Here's another one.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, an intelligent blonde, and a little girl raced against each other.

Santa Claus flew away on his sleigh. The Easter Bunny hopped away, the intelligent blonde sped away in her convertible, and the little girl started walking. Who won?

The little girl. The other three don't exist.

Ooh, I have another, but it's kinda dirrty. Actually, I have a lot of good dirrty jokes, but I will respect our younger members by not posting them here.

Oh, wait, I am one of the youngest. Hmm.