Myriad Reckonings

Spoiler

The best ones I ever had were when we went and helped the Mennonites unload massive truckloads of apples, peaches, and huge blocks of cheese. We worked all day and then ate apples and cheese at the end. The smell coming from those trucks was fresh fruit and cheese and it was incredible.

"By the Great Mothers." Sirejj said, bringing one finger to his lips. He watched her intently, sensing agitation beneath her stately exterior.

Thalassa gave him a long, hard stare, then leaned back in her chair.

"Garoche came to me around three months after the rise of the Empire and asked if we could talk. He'd just been promoted to admiral, and his father had sent him out to deal with some remaining Separatists in the Outer Rim. The planet Garoche was assigned to had operatives within several civilian cities, and his father gave the order to terminate everyone." Her brow furrowed. "He wanted to set an example, and Garoche was young. He remembered what the Separatists had done to his father. So he complied."

Sirejj for a moment felt a great sense of conflict. Not from Lady Tarkin, but from a place far off. A deep feeling of regret.

"And he struggled with the decision afterwards?" He asked quietly.

"It was carnage," Thalassa murmured. "I saw the footage. Garoche wasn't quick enough; the people rebelled and it turned into a massacre." She tutted. "The Empire won, of course, without question. But it was messier than it should have been." Her composure was well-kept, but there was a heaviness in her voice now. "Garoche was shattered. His own power terrified him. He was used to menial tasks, far less responsibility than what he had now. He came to me and asked how it was possible..." She cut off suddenly, listening for footsteps. Her entire posture was tense when she continued in a low voice, "he asked me how it was possible for the Empire to ever be in the right when he had just walked through a city where parents and children were strewn about like dolls in the rubble of their homes."

Spoiler

I sense Tarkin potentially saying something about Dathomir's carnage one too many times and Sirejj finally having enough of it. Especially as Sirejj gets tested and pushed closer to his limits he may lose his temper more often.

Sirejj's composure faltered for a moment. He knew exactly the image she was describing. Brothers and sisters, bodies broken and limbs severed, their lifeless eyes searching the dark skies for any sign of hope, their mouths open as they called for the gods to aid them. No one heard. They had lain there, trodden over by the victors. Those who survived were forever left with that vision, no matter how they fought to forget.

The stench of burning flesh filled his nostrils. He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering the strength to return that memory to its proper place. Killing was necessary. Death was necessary. But there was a point where it became wasteful and senseless. It seemed Tarkin lived to cross that line. That angered him.

He took a deep breath and looked back at Thalassa. A heaviness had settled about the room. "He was not wrong to question." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Spoiler

I can very much see that happening

"Hush," she growled, a sudden urgency in her voice. "You forget who's in this house with us. We're speaking of a memory, nothing more." She took a moment to collect herself, glancing toward the door. "I told him it wasn't for him to decide what was right and what was wrong. Not in that case. He was an admiral; it was his job to follow orders." Regret tinged her tone. "That was it. I think there was an argument with his father at some point shortly after that, but I wasn't there for that conversation."

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It could even result in a physical altercation. It may end in a draw or someone interrupting them before they decide to kill each other. We'd need to give Tarkin a melee weapon though. Maybe a buildup of some anger before they get to Atoa. I can see Sirejj perhaps losing somehow (at least losing the argument, Tarkin can say some vile cutting words that are worse than getting beat up) but then part of him getting back at Tarkin is forcing him to see what happened at the cathedral

"Forgive me." He said, his tone placating but insincerity in his expression. His loyalty lay not with the empire, only temporarily with Tarkin and Thalassa until this mission was completed.

This revealed something very important. Garoche, the son of the Grand Moff himself, had questioned his loyalty. That added another piece to the puzzle. It may be irrelevant, it may not. It may simply paint a clearer picture, or it could be a turning point. Sirejj was not sure, but he stored it away.

Spoiler

Sirejj would probably have to be the one to engage. Tarkin is a brute, but he's not a complete fool and he's been tamed by the military to a certain extent. Acting like a beast is reserved for the Carrion.
The cutting words would probably be moat appropriate, and it would segue nicely into Sirejj getting his revenge.

Her eyes narrowed; it was clear she had picked up on his lack of care. "Think what you please, Sirejj, but that hulking monstrosity can read thoughts--you know this. I only love the Empire when it lines my pockets with credits, which is always, but we have to be careful what we say. And one never knows who's lurking around a corner. Curb your nonchalance, for both our sakes."

Spoiler

A part of the tradeoff of learning about Garoche is that Sirejj is now carrying a lot of that burden with him until he finds the answers, so some if it might not even be his own anger.

"Not again, My Lady." He said with more sincerity. She was right. He'd let his feelings guide his words. He of all people was not keen on facing said monstrosity ever again if he could avoid it.

"Good." She sat back in her chair and cut into her meal with a bit more gusto. It was some sort of fish with cubed potatoes and greens on the side, and she drizzled some orange dipping sauce on the whole plate. "I think only the best of my son," she said. "So I haven't cared to entertain some of the implications that conversation has."

"Of course." He worked on his food as well, though it was a much simpler course, solely consisting of lightly seasoned meat.

He was quiet for some time, mulling over the information given to him. There were still many missing pieces, but those would most likely have to wait until Atoa to be discovered. He still felt like a large part of the story had not been revealed yet.

Thalassa made no effort to start the conversation up again just yet, but inside her mind was a mess of memories that she was consciously attempting to suppress, knowing that Sirejj would be able to see if he so wished.

The first and clearest memory was of a much younger Garoche, perhaps fourteen years old, being carried through the door on a stretcher with his father and an elderly man by his side. He was only half-conscious and was bleeding from a cut on his forehead, but he appeared to be uninjured otherwise. This memory was soaked in Thalassa's panic and anger, and a deep loathing for the old man permeated every corner of it. Jova Tarkin, patriarch of the family and the guide of the Carrion, was unmoved when Thalassa poured out her rage to him and Wilhuff a few hours later. This was the way of things, he had said, and Wilhuff should have stayed out of the way. Nature would have taken its course if he hadn't stepped in.
Jova wanted Garoche dead, Thalassa thought. Not for any personal reasons, but simply because he was a liability. He knew his star pupil was too attached to the boy, and if Wilhuff was hindered in any way then it meant he might not achieve all he was meant to.

The rest were bits and pieces of things, but one more stood out: Garoche's graduation when, drunk, he initiated an argument with his father and then stormed inside, hurt and ashamed. Thalassa had listened with patience, heard his side of things, and let it be. It wasn't the first or last time Garoche and his father had argued, but that one had stung them both.

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I feel real sorry for this kid. where's the au he lives happily ever after

Tarkin: here, take this *hands Sirejj a suitcase labeled "emotional baggage" which promptly sends him crashing through floor like a loony tunes character*

Sirejj caught glimpses of her memories. She did well at hiding them, to be sure, but anger and regret were hard emotions to completely subdue. Emotions that had begun far before the death of her son. She carried a great bitterness towards her husband's side of the family. There was a great deal of blame she still held against them, both for the pain her son had suffered in life and then his eventual death on Atoa.

The cat's tooth was in his pocket, but it still acted as a guide. Sirejj could navigate through the woman's thoughts before him, at least those surrounding her son. She had been searching for so long for answers. Sirejj felt now someone was deliberately trying to prevent them from finding out, and he had a suspect in mind.

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The au is in my brain only :/

"Did you ever have a family, Sirejj?" Thalassa asked after a long silence. She was halfway through her meal. "Or people you considered to be family?"

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:(

Thalassa is a great character though. This interaction here has been super interesting

"We lived in tribes. I had brothers, but I spent little time in the villages." Sirejj said, shifting a little in his chair. He did not often speak of his past. Much of his life had been spent an outcast- mostly by choice. He had seen what happened to the Brothers who showed potential. They were swiftly taken and used for the purposes of others and often were never heard from again.