I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

Vendetta leaned forward, narrowing their eyes at the TV, before rearing back in shock. “Valeri, I think- I think Joe actually summoned Cody.”

Dusk glowed an alarmed neon purple. “What? He can do that.”

Vendetta pointed at the screen with a trembling hand. “Look closer.”

The Cody on-screen looked absolutely bewildered. As Joe marched him to the police cars, he seemed to say something like, "Joe? How did you do this?" He looked at the police officers. "Please, can't you see that an illegal summoning has just taken place? Or perhaps a teleportation spell. I swear I wasn't the one battling--"

The police officer brandished a pair of handcuffs. "I'm sorry, sir."

Cody’s eyes widen in full-blown panic. “Khalil! What did you do to Khalil, Joe?”

Joe sneered at Cody. “You killed him, and I’m saving him.”

Vendetta’s face turned sheet white. “Oh no. Oh no.”

Valeri bit their lip as they watched the TV. Joe handed Cody over to the cops, then strode over to the undead army, which was melting back into the sidewalk. All except for one person: Khalil.

"Joe--" xe hissed.

"Khalil! It's so good to see you." Joe attempted to look sympathetic as he approached him. "Malacoda's evil spell has really done a number on you."

“Oh you right bastard.” Khalil exuded so much anger that he almost looked like he was smoking. “Let him go!”

Joe shook his head, frowing. “Oh, you poor thing. You don’t understand what happened. Let me take you home, so you can get better.”

Khalil snarled. “Don’t you dare. Let Cody go! He doesn’t deserve this.”

Joe looked at the crowd around him and shook his head sadly. "The vampire necromancer has addled his brain. I need to take poor Khalil here home so I can provide him with an antidote and some much-needed rest." Joe reached for Khalil's arm.

Khalil backed away, glaring at Joe and the crowd. "The wizard's been lying to you all."

Joe laughed. “Calm down, Khalil. It’s over.”

Khalil shook his head. “Leave is alone, Joe! We did nothing to you!”

Joe took a deep breath, and glared at the new camera. “Turn that off. Third that off!”

Khalil turned to address the cameras and the crowd. "Joe used to be best friends with Cody. But unfortunately, Joe grew jealous, and--"

"Shh!" Joe hissed. He looked frantically around for a second, then covered up the look with a smile and snapped his fingers. He and Khalil abruptly vanished in a flash of bright pink light.

The camera swung back to the reporter. "Well. That was certainly unexpected." She raised her eyebrows on-screen. "I do hope Josephinzo the great wizard succeeds in aiding that victim."

Valeri stared at the TV for a moment, horrified.

Vendetta shook their head. “Oh, no.” They squeezed their eyes shut. “This is awful. Cody’s in jail and Joe has-“ They let out a sob.

Dawn and Dusk lost their glow and rested on the table.

Valeri growled. "Ugh, when we face that wizard again, I'll--" she punched a fist into her palm, then sank into her seat. "But if we try to expose his lies, he- he'll just accuse us of lying, or cast a spell on us or something..."

Dawn hummed sadly.

Vendetta took a drop breath, fanning their face. “We have to save Cody. We save Cody, and then we march into into Joe’s home and we- we fix this!”

Dusk sighed. “How do we fix this?”

"I turn into my hamster form and crush Joe between my paws?" asked Valeri hopefully.

"Wince."

"Dawn, did you just 'wince' at me?"

The sword flipped over on the table. "Nonviolence, please."

“Dawn’s right.” Vendetta rested their head on the table. “Hurting Joe isn’t going to fix any of this. He needs to admit it publicly.”

“And how do we do that? Joe’s been lying for years.”

"Well, Vendetta, you have the recording of the security tapes, right?" Dusk flickered a very faint purple. "Of Joe at the book signing, while he was supposedly investigating Cody?"

Vendetta nodded. “Yes, of course.”