I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

“I-I was at a book signing!” he blurted. Immediately, Joe the carrot attempted to shrivel up. “No— I mean— ahh! The truth is, it was for Amara Sarang!”

The audience gasped.

“The famous love potions expert?” one reporter asked, shoving their mic forwards.

“The very same!” Joe groaned. “Why can’t I say what I mean to say? What did you do to me, Malacoda?”

Cody sighed. “Absolutely nothing, Joe.”

“Then is it you?” Joe the carrot rolled towards Vendetta. “Argh! Where are my WANNABES? Attack Malacoda’s accomplice!”

"We're right here."

Amy stepped forward, Wormy and Otto behind her. "And we're done with you, Joe. We're done with your lies!"

"No..." Carrot Joe seemed to be turning pale. "I-- I was good to you! The whole world turned its back on you, but I took you all in! I gave you all a purpose!"

Amy sighed, shaking her head. “Maybe, Joe. But at what cost? You lied to us! You kidnapped someone! You were so ready to ruin someone’s life.” She crossed her arms. “You told us what you had to keep us around. That’s all we are to you.”

Wormy and Otto both patted her on the shoulder.

“That’s— that’s not true. It was all for the greater good. José, Guy,” Joe called desperately, “back me up here.”

From the back of the stage, José stepped forward, wearing a wizard hat like Joe’s.

José lifted his chin, holding his hat in place. “The Great Josephinzo always has a good reason!”

Amy shook her head. “No, José. Believe me.”

Guy stepped out as well, crossing his arms. He grunted, “You all are traitors.”

Joe the carrot regained some of his color. “See? Listen to your fellow WANNABES! Listen, I’ll only make this offer once. Come back to me, and we can all be a happy family again.”

Wormy shook her head silently.

Vendetta took a deep breath. “You really want to manipulate them like that? Fine.”

They rolled their shoulders and put on the strongest puppy dog eyes yet. “Tell is the truth about why you founded the WANNABES.”

“It was for a good cause,” Joe started. “A good cause of helping myself.”

The audience murmured.

Vendetta nodded. “Okay, okay. And tell us the truth of what you think of Amy.”

They turned to the girl and mouthed an apology.

Amy grimaced but nodded.

“Amy? Well, it was clear her parents didn’t want her. But come on, exploding confetti is so handy! How could I not take her in?”

Vendetta felt a little relieved. That wasn’t too bad. “Okay. Tell us the truth about what you think about Wormy and Otto.”

Otto crossed his ankles and stared him down.

Joe scoffed. "Those two weirdos would never have been accepted by society. I mean, come on, doing everything backward and always being covered with worms? It's a good thing for them that I found a use for them."