I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

Wormy flinched, clutching her veil. Otto looked genuinely taken aback. Taken aforward? Regardless, he looked shaken.

Vendetta felt slightly angry at that. “Alright then, Joe. Tell us how you really feel about José.”

"Ohoho. Now José is perhaps the best WANNABE of all." There seemed to be a smirk in carrot-Joe's voice. "He imitates me in everything, as he should, seeing as I'm the best wizard ever. Poor guy wouldn't be anything without me. And so he would never think of betraying me, unlike you traitors."

José had been listening with a slight frown on his face. "Joe," he started, "do you really just see Amy, Wormy, and Otto as tools?"

Joe gasped. “No, of course-“

“Tell the truth.” Vendetta glared down at the arrogant carrot.

“Yes, I do! All of my WANNABES are. They do exactly as I say because I am the best.”

José staggered back a step. "So... what you said about us being a family... that was all a lie?" Tears started to well up in his eyes, and he clutched his wizard hat desperately. Behind him, Guy shifted uneasily.

"We-"

"The truth." How Vendetta was still managing those puppy dog eyes when their hands trembled with anger was a mystery.

“Of course it was,” carrot-Joe snarled. “I was always taking advantage of you all—“ He trembled. “Wait, no, I didn’t mean that.”

José staggered backwards as if he’d been shot.

The puppy dog eyes evaporated. “So, Joe. Look at the truth coming to light.”

José’s eyes welled up with tears. “Josephinzo?”

Carrot-Joe sputtered. "No, forget what I just said! Ha! Truth-telling ability? More like coercing lies out of me."

José shook his head, a tear dripping down his face. "I can't believe you, Josephinzo-- no, Joe. I-I looked up to you." José suddenly grabbed his wizard hat and threw it to the floor. "I even renamed myself. I styled my appearance after you, just because I wanted to be like the great wizard who had cared for us when no one else did!"

“I did care for you when no one else did! And I am the greatest wizard of all time!”

Vendetta shook their head. “Dear spectators, what do you think about that?”

A couple spectators booed, and one even tossed an old tomato onto the stage.

Valeri tsked. "Joe, it looks like you're finally being exposed for the scum you are."

“No!” Carrot-Joe wiggled pathetically in Cody’s hands. “They’re all lying! They all have evil magic to do this to me!”

Vendetta clicked their tongue. “Out of time, Joey.”

Valeri waved a couple of police officers over. “Please arrest this man before he causes even more damage.”

“Wh- On what charge?” Joe spluttered.

Khalil hummed. “Oh let’s see. Breaking and entering. Kidnapping. Perjury. Slander. Libel. I could keep going.”

The police officers daintyly picked up Carrot-Joe.

Carrot-Joe attempted to wriggle out of the police officer’s grip, but to no avail. “No! Khalil! I was always the right one for you! You’ll see— you’ll all see!” he shrieked.

“The only thing we’ll be seeing is all of your favorite Newspaper publishing articles about how you’re a fraud.” Amy giggled. “I’ll sending you a copy!”