I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

Khalil turned to Cody for just a second, not moving before he gasped, stumbling backwards. Vendetta knew it was fake, but Joe wouldn’t.

“Xe’s… really good at this.”

Khalil turned to Joe. “Josephinzo?”

Joe smiled magnanimously. “Yes, my love, I’m here.”

Valeri tried not to gag.

Khalil ran to Joe’s side, the crowd awwing in response. Vendetta groaned. “Grosss.”

Dusk huffed. “Agreed.”

Joe looked at Khalil tenderly. “Are you alright? Did Malacoda hurt you at all?”

Cody grimaced. “You know I would never hurt Khalil.”

Khalil dropped to his knees. “Yes! He separated me from you!”

Vendetta turned away. “Okay. This is making me sick.”

Dawn shuddered. “Gag.”

Joe glared at Malacoda. “Fear no more, Khalil, for the evil one has met his doom. Malacoda, let’s settle this, once and for all!”

The crowd murmured excitedly. Valeri face-palmed.

Khalil gripped Joe’s shoulder. “Thank you, thank you!”

Vendetta stepped closer to the stage. “Wait for it…”

Joe waved his staff around as if preparing for some kind of big spell. "Watch this, dear."

Khalil shifted his position slightly. "Oh, I'm watching."

Cody settled into a defensive stance. Valeri glanced at the crowd holding its breath.

Joe narrowed his eyes and made a series of complicated gestures. "Abracadabra... hocus pocus... locusts and custard and ardent dentures!"

Khalil stepped slightly behind Joe. To Joe, it probably felt like he was hiding. But to Vendetta, it looked like he was about to tackle Joe.

"Huzzah! Hip hip hooray!" Joe banged his fist on his palm three times, as if he was playing rock paper scissors. "Hah! That should do it." Joe brandished his staff at Malacoda. "Now then, meet your doom-"

And that’s when Khalil finally tackled him, pinning Joe to the floor. “I suggest you stop before you embarrass yourself, you pot of overcooked spaghetti.”

"Yeah! You two-week-old, limp carrot!" Valeri glared at Joe.

"Agh! Khalil!" Joe's voice was muffled. "Noo! Has Malacoda hypnotized you?"

"No! Your love potion just wore off, you no good sorry sack of beans." Khalil dragged him to his feet, knocking the staff out of his hands. "What to tell the whole world about that?"