Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but now you have no tognue, and are forced to eat your delicious food through a tube in your arm. Ha.

I wish I had the motivation to do my Spanish project...

Granted, you now have the motivation...you just don't do it.


I wish I didn't have to write two essays tonight.

Granted. Now you must write three.

I wish good poetry was easier to write.

Granted, it just comes easy to everyone but you.

I wish I had the Wicked Soundtrack.

Granted but you still don't write any.

I wish I had chocolate.

Granted, but then I steal it before you can take the first bite because I would kill for chocolate right now.

I wish I had the Wicked Soundtrack.

Granted but a house falls on it.

I wish Grindhouse was out already.

Granted, it's out early. You pick it up off the shelf, take it up to the counter, attempt to purchase it, and suddenly it is not in the system because it wasn't supposed to be out yet--the store screwed up, you got your hopes up, you were so close to your dream, and now they must take it back from you and crush your dreams like an ant on the sidewalk. Ouch.


I wish cigarettes were illegal.

Granted but no everyone lives longer and the world becomes over populated making us a prime pick for alien enslavement and a very rich feeding ground for the Wraith.

I wish I didn't have to write my resrearch paper]

Granted. The Great Depression starts again with all the lost sales and more people surviving from cancers because they never got the cancer coming from cigarettes and nicotine.

I wish I knew what I wanted.

oops sorry. I'll do yours for you.

Granted. You fail the paper! Now you have to redo your current grade because you can't pass it without that research paper having been done.

I wish I knew what I wanted.

(sheesh, me too)

Granted, but you can't ever have it.


I wish I had one more day of spring break...you know, to do the homework I didn't do all week.

Granted, but it's only because you broke your leg and needed to stay in the hospital a day longer.

I wish I had done all my homework before the day was up.

(haha, broke my leg--how close you are to the truth)

Granted, but you did it all wrong and have to do it all over again tomorrow for a much less attractive grade then if you just would have done it right the first time.

I wish teachers would learn the meaning of 'journal' and '[i]short answer essay'.[/i]

Granted, but they've forgot the meaning of 'weekend' and you now have to go to class on Saturday and Sunday too.

I wish I had a team of robots I could give my ideas to, and they would write them down for me, only better than I could do.