Corrupt a Wish

Granted but an angry mob attacks you because with more hours in a day work days increase and no one wants to work more.

I wish I had a better internet connection

Granted but it doesn't work except during a blue moon at two in the morning.

I wish brownies weren't so bad for you.

Granted. But now you can't stop eating them!


I wish I wasn't always so tired!

Granted, but you never sleep again. With no dreams, your creativity withers and dies and you end up working for the marketing department of...oh...Microsoft.

I wish that all the guns in the world were replaced with flowers (Bonus if anyone can tell which poem this is from, clue: Simon Armitage)

Granted, but then all the flowers would come alive and start spitting bullets at everyone, so you'd just end up with a lot of very pretty guns.


I wish I had a soda fountain in my room that never ran dry.

Granted, but it's Pepsi and you like Coke (or whatever).

I wish I got a full scholarship to my top choice college.

Granted, but your room floods with coke and dr. pepper. Now you have no room, so how can you have a soda fountain?

I wish I knew what I wanted.

Granted, but you just wasted your wish!

I wish the weather would be good this weekend!

Granted. You do know what you want, you just can't have it. Ever.

edit: Granted. The weather is excellent, but whatever you were going to do is cancelled and you have a ten page science report due on Monday.

(repeating from last time, since my post seems to have been missed)
I wish I got a full scholarship to my top choice college.

((we seem to have replied at the same time!))

((Indeed We did))

Granted, but then your top choice collage blows up.

I hope I don't mess up on Saturday

Granted, but now you mess up on Friday and Sunday.

I wish I never felt guilty for silly little misunderstandings.

Granted, but one day there is a silly misunderstanding that becomes a big deal and someone gets really mad that you don't feel guilty and you end up becoming a social outcast.


I wish a great holy hairdresser would come out of the sky and made my hair be obedient.

Granted, but now it has absolutely no volume.

I wish I hadn't wondered why the name "Dame Primus" came up in my head the other day.

Granted but now no names cme into your head. Including your own. *Twilight Zone music*

I wish I could stop thinking for one second.

Granted but now you don't think at all.

I wish my glasses weren't crooked.