"I don't know," she said. "I used to be in love with someone. We got married. He turned out to be a bad man. And I can't forget him. We had a son together."
She left out the part about Alex for now, trying to put it in terms he would understand, feeling ridiculous for confiding in a kid as it was.
She was still distracted by the fact that Frank Sinatra was cleaning up her vomit. Well, it wasn't actually Frank Sinatra. It couldn't have been. But he had the same blue eyes. Who knew what was real anymore.
"Mr. Sinatra," she said, getting his attention. "I'm sorry, I've always a really big fan." She neglected to mention that Jay had been a big fan too, that they'd often to dance to him in their living room.
Frank stared back at her blankly.
***
Alex felt numb. Then again, she wasn't sure what kind of reaction she'd expect. She'd leave out the part of her having been in prison for now. But it felt good to have it off her chest, and somewhat comforting to know she wasn't the only killer on the ship.
"Like I said, I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt," she said. "I know it sounds ridiculous. But it's true. That night, I didn't see her as a person."
She'd been thinking a lot lately, about the reporter who'd come to interview her, about how Margaret's fiancé had visited her just to threaten her, about Carolyn's visit, and finally, her phone call with her dad, how he'd said her mother would be ashamed of her and how he never wanted to see her again. All of that in a span of a few months. And then the trial, when everyone piled on her and Sasha and Blake about how good the three victims were, and how much each of them still had to give the world.
Margaret had to die. She had to. Otherwise, this all would have been for nothing. And she couldn't let herself entertain that possibility.
