The Excuse Game

Because nice new people joined my favorite site. Also, there's this adorable baby sleeping nearby and I am frantically texting my family about how adorable she is.
Why is there green paste all over your jeans?

i was nursing a sick tree back to health.

why is your hair pink?

one of my best friends decided we should be matching.

why is there one little girl carrying your grand piano out of your house?

I had to pawn it off to buy cookies and the little drove a hard bargain.

Why is your turtle purple in colour?

Because purple is the best color and the turtle agrees.

Why are you breaking a table leg over your knee?

It's been leading a rebellion against the chair empire and need to be made an example of, as per the orders of Charon The Great.


why are your teeth made of cheese?

Because cheese is tasty and I want to snack on something all the time, so who cares if it's my own teeth?

Why are you not going to rehearsals today?

Because I spoke to the trees, and they told me I would encounter a shrimp playing saxophone, so I stayed home.

Why is the couch breathing?

Excuse you, his name is Jericho, and he used to be my sister's fiancee before he cheated on her and she turned him into a living breathing couch that could only be fed by her happiness.

Why aren't you listening to Conan Gray right now?

Because it isn't 3rd of December today.

Why does your dog have a temper?

Because he was abandoned at a pole when he was younger.

Why is your chemistry assignment missing?