A hobo promised me he would give me money if I gave him a toad to eat. But, what's really annoying is that now I can't even find him. And if this toad pees on me..
Because I bought purple contacts from a two dollar store. They were really dodgy and now my eyes are stained purple. Moral for the kids: Only buy contacts from professionals!!!
Why were you watching teletubbies and eating popcorn?
I bought acactus. A week later it died. I got depressed because I thought Damn, I am less nurturing than a desert. -Demetri Martin
Because my little sister forced me to switch from Percy Jackson to teletubbies and make some popcorn for her, but then I realized I had no little sister, but my older brother was actually starting to enjoy the show when he was like, 20. So we watched for a while and then my older brother had to leave for his job, and I decided it was pretty cool too, so I stayed up all night watching.
Because once a fortnight a large shadow passes over my window scaring my teddy bear. After several months of counseling, my teddy bear believed it had it's emotions under control. Finally, my bear went to the window to confront it's fear. However, the shadow turned out to be a large metal blimp that had OTHER stuffed bears pinned all over it! The bears saw mine, and alerted their evil master to my bear. He sent his evil, stuffed-bear-hating minions to capture my bear. After capturing him, they took him back to the blimp and forced him to compete in death matches with other captured teddy bears. After winning 40 matches in a row, and staying undefeated, the teddy bear overlords became unhappy that all their bets were getting skewed. They then trapped him in solitary confinement for eight years. My teddy bear realized he needed to escape, but didn't get his chance till he lulled his overlords into a false sense of security, and snuck out by stitching himself inside of a basketball then let him have. After escaping the ship, he learned to his dismay that somehow the blimp had travelled back in time to the 1820's!! So he hid himself in a tiny, tiny mountain cave by squishing himself into 1/3 of his original size. After hiding inside the cave for a hundred and twenty-three years, he then travelled all the way from the Swiss alps by way of mostly off-brand airlines, and a small dog who had taught itself to speak teddy bear. After travelling all the way back to my house, he learned that I was now 17. But I still loved him, and didn't mind the horrible stories. Unfortunately, after sending a century in a tiny cave, he found he could not sleep without some sort of pressure on him. And that's why I sleep with my teddy bear
Why do you put mustard in your socks?
Spoiler
Did I do it right?
Last edited by JediDeadpool on Tue Apr 26, 2016 4:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sincerely, A Humble YWS User.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. ~ Steven Wright ~
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Because I invented this little robot dude to do it for me, so I left him to do it and fell asleep because I'd stayed up until midnight giving him finishing touches. Then in the middle of the night he exploded, and I didn't hear him because I listen to audiobooks when I sleep with headphones, and I was in the other room. I'm as surprised as you are that the dishes aren't done.
Why are you binge-watching Bob The Builder?
We are who we are, and if someone has a problem with that; that's their problem not ours. *** I do believe that insane is the only way to go.
