~Volant~

wow, really cool! :D I personally love stories with people on the run! One thing: "Suddenly, the rain stopped." Ugh. Please, try not to use suddenly like this. It makes ...

Aw, I like this! It's cute! "He tackled me to the ground and I laughed, the hat flying off into the dust. He started tickling my sides and I rolled ...

The lady answered her quickly [s].[/s], [s]W[/s]we were going to visit my sister, who lives down the road about five miles away. Our carriage lost a wheel, and we were ...

Your description is beautiful, there's no denying that, but unless your character is disabled, I'm sure she still has a sense of smell. Adding that factor will make this that ...

I hated every single moment of reading this. I bet your mother is a one-eyed cow and your father was a sample of amoebic dysentry... hm. You're right, that last ...

I'm surprised a grandfather would talk about his war stories, especially so bloody and horrible, especially to his young grandson. A war veteren normally doesn't like to talk about the ...

[quote="Derek_Fantasy"] Chapter 1 The Coming Sota was sitting on his bed studying. The final exams were coming up and he need to get the best score in his class. It ...

I like this story! I especially like the idea of telling the story from the teacher's POV, and the description of Olivia. You could go far with this story idea, ...

oooh, I really really like! This is good, mate! Yes, I liked it. Great imagery, and it's sort of something that you have to read again. Something about life being ...

I liked it. Drawn into the story. One thing, however, is that I'm sure your character has a sense of smell. if he didn't, I think you would've said so. ...

Hiya, Errant! Jabbar got most of the grammatical errors, so I'll skip that part. Cute story, but one thing: At the end, the "it" suddenly became a she. You can ...

lol made me laugh. Great emotion behind it all. The problem is, I have no idea how old your character is. He seems to have the mindset of a fifteen-year-old, ...

Wait, so Myles likes Rame, but keeps hitting him? And you know how I said Rame has major thrill issues? Niyana has major anger issues. I like the two together; ...

heh-heh. Demon-fish. Rat. heh-heh. really good character interaction. Rame constantly trying to get on someone's nerves...that kid has some serious thrill issues, mate. Lol! A little unrealistice, aga

I like. I like very much. Elves, magic, nymphs, even. I'm excited! But it is cluttered with adjetives and random descriptions, as if you're trying to cram in as much ...