zohali93

Hi there. :) For your first chapter I think this really is interesting. So as I was reading along I picked up somethings I'd like you to see. First Your ...

Hi there. I just read your chapter one...of course I just read otherwise I wouldn't be writing this :) ...Anyways, You had a really great story going on there. I ...

Hey there MM. Real good story, you had me there at the begining but as I read along I wasn't sure what exactly was going on there. Like the conflict ...

Hey there. :) You've got a great story going on there but there are quite a couple of things that I'd like to point out to you: First off you ...

Lol. By the third paragraph I was a bit confused but then suddenly everything clicked when I red "sit on your lap' If You want to make it confusing maybe ...

hey! i loved this first chapter of yours.d :) i'm a bit confused though, i pictured the class on the second floor but i think you meant the first floor ...

Really interesting. It reminds me of maximus ride. :) I liked how you made it so interesting at the begining and also made sure that you gave readers basic information ...

Wow. Your beginig really caught my attention and made me want to read on. Usualy if I hate the first paragraph I ditch the whole story. I loved the suspence ...