There is no hope for me. No hope for you. No hope for anyone.
I was just an ordinary teenager; we all were. Until we were turned into an experiment, created by careless scientists in a lab. Trust me. They have no sympathy.
I honestly didn’t know what had happened at first; its not like I just said “Heya, you lab people! What’s up? Do you wanna make me a mutant circus freak? Cool! Sign me up!”. I hope I didn’t actually say that, considering that they took away most of my memory on one hideous night.
On that one night, these lab people had invented a super-powerful, human-gene-altering serum that was tested for the first time. It was tested on me. And trust me, having, erm, strange abilities aren’t so bright and dandy as you might think. So, that basically makes me, what, a mutant? An experiment? A freak?
Answer D: all of the above
Oh, no, don’t get me wrong, there are some upsides with my-how should I put this-gift. But, the worst downside is that the little scientists are ripping their hair out (if they still have some) to try to get their first experiments back. Yes, we escaped from the maniacal clutches of the lab. And let me tell you, its actually kinda fun to run from your enemies at a jogging pace while they’re all out there running at their normal human speed. Well, no I can’t run super fast, I-sorry, I gotta go.
We’ve gotten into a tiny situation that is quite hard to fix.
Do yourself a favor; read on. See what happens if you don’t.
-A
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
The whole thing draws me in. The first line almost forces me (good thing) to read on to see why there is no hope. You could either turn this into a longer story, or maybe even a novel, or you could leave it like this to torture us with.
Really interesting. It reminds me of maximus ride.
I liked how you made it so interesting at the begining and also made sure that you gave readers basic information enough to make them want to know everything that's going to happen next, and the situation of those mutants. But if this is chapter 1 then it may be too short,even though its nice the way it is. I love how you let readers know that the mutants are on the run, in an interesting way.
The way you build suspense and tell the story is nice.
This is a really good story and I think you should add more to it. Keep writing cause your good at it.
I like how you left this really open ended. I was wondering if you were planning on adding to it, since it says to read on at the end. One suggestion I have, would be to come up with a different term other than "lab people". It just seams that you say that a lot. I really hope you continue this, because I really would like to read it some more. Great job!