yombleflobber

Creepy...kinda cool though. I liked your description of the soulless monsters and the backstory, it blended pretty well with the current storyline. About the only things that irked me at ...

I thought this was pretty good overall. I skimmed through it the first time and it haunted me until I read the whole thing, after which everything made a ton ...

Well, it didn't really make me cry, but it was moving. Maybe I'm just a wuss (entirely likely). Anyway, you need to work on commas. Indeed, check out Lynn Truss' ...

Hallo, there, Jas, I'm not sure why I clicked on this, but I did and I don't regret it! You have really great imagery. I got a bit confused at ...

In my opinion, this isn't a story. It's more poetry, in some ways. The repetition of the phrase kinda makes it sound like a song. It's not bad, mind you, ...

Yeah, I can imagine that much more might be a bit preachy. I like the progression, it's pretty accurate and it's nice to see the way it was in contrast ...

This looks to be the start of a good story. I like your voice here, kind of a detached internal monologue, it really helps set the mood. Slight criticism: It ...

Amazingly, there's a lot of critical advice I can give you. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of general reviewy stuff I can do since there's only like three sentences. Since ...

Well, the first part doesn't really make much sense with the rest of it. If you're going to discuss the anger and then talk about how it comes out, you ...

Nice, very cute. I'm not sure I have any real criticisms that haven't already been mentioned and I like these little "slice of life" pieces that don't tell a huge ...

As dear Masque stated, you need more content. Also "appart" should have only one "p" and "discusted" should have a "g" in place of the "c". Otherwise, what I gathered ...

Yep, you need a plot. And a name my inner voice can actually pronounce. I'd vote for Ricirik, but it sounds like RickyRick, which is a bit weird. I think ...

Coooooool. Well, you need a question mark for that first question. There's really no excuse for that comma. Also, change the comma in the middle of the first sentence into ...

To be honest I had no clue what's going on towards the end the first time I read it but I can't say I care. I really like the feeling ...

This sounds like it would make a decent eulogy. It kinda highlights that people don't understand the good that they've been given until it's gone. Very touching. About the only ...