Published April 23, 2011
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Right so.....that was interesting! Zombies, watch out for the zombies!!!! Protect the kids at all costs! Hmm...should I bring chicken to feed the zombies?
In the way of critiquing all I can say is, please, capitalize your first letters of each sentence.
Amazingly, there's a lot of critical advice I can give you. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of general reviewy stuff I can do since there's only like three sentences.
Since it's so short, I'm going to rewrite it with some grammatical corrections:
Last week it was beautiful and little kids were running around (you should continue to describe this idylic scene, what else made it beautiful). Then it was nothing but zombies and I swear those things eat like pigs, so rule number one is: keep weapons with you at all times.
Obviously this is going to be something humorous. Otherwise it wouldn't be about zombies.
This seems A LOT like "Zombieland", especially with the rules thing you have going on or have at least begun with. You may want to finish writing your piece before posting next time. Also, if you want to mimic Zombieland, you can just put it in Fan-fiction of course! Continue writing!
-Crescent
continuing
soon