yoha_ahoy

I like the mention of the e-mails to her family and friend. I'm kind of curious as to what she says to them. That could be something to expand on ...

Oh that's awesome Bear! I'll try to read Sumi's story as well. Can you PM it to me Bear? It'd be easier for me to remember then cuz I can't ...

Ooooh. Wow. This is intense and unique. The imagery of this is so awesome and creepy. Blood-stained snow, crimson ice - great. I don't understand the, "Liquid on fur-like/Cotton-ball floor" ...

Interesting... I don't really have much to say about this really. It's good. The imagery is nice. For some raeson though I find it sort of... awkward? I just feel ...

Cute! I love the serious tone this has even though it seems to be about a child's play. It's the seriousness a child brings to their imagination, very good. Your ...

Aww! I think it's adorable! I love M&M's as well. Your rhyming is done very well except for perhaps "fan" and "hand," but sometimes that can't be helped so I'm ...

This was very good! You set up the mood very well. It's feels very romantic up until the "kiss" and then I laughed. I had a dream similar to that ...

sol = soul? undulance = fantastic word there! I love it. :D Great poem! Your rhyming is wonderful. I'm a little picky when I say the ending couplet could be ...

Not my favorite. For one thing, I think it's way too short to get the idea across. You've got a lot of thoughts jammed into thirteen lines. If you edit ...

Ooh! I like it! It's very good and very creepy. You have a good use of repitition with the quoted part. It's not the annoying repetition which is good!! I ...

You've really captured the mood in the funeral of that stuck in between feeling. I've experienced this, and that's just what it's like. Nice descriptions. "But on his cheek, there’s ...

Might I say I think your writing style is ingenious and quite witty. I laughed quite a few times. I unfortunately, don't have anything constructive to say other than I ...

"The touch of our lips sent my mind into a primal sate . Our heat overtook the dark room." State? [i]"Our carnal urges flooding out of every pour and spreading ...

Okay, it's good up until the part with the brother speaking here he says, "I don't know, you guys." I can't tell if he's on the phone, or the friends ...

Awww! Very cute! 1- You need capitalization and some more punctuation I think. 2- I love the shape! I don't know if you did that on purpose, or what, but ...