xhalcyonx128

o and cade: yes you are a very capable poet :-) and brad=incandecence, just an fyi for those who didnt know (i forgot because he signs his real name in ...

lol yea french 3!

i mailed this off to a few christian magazines, ill let you guys know how that goes. thanks to everyone who critiqued, its good to know my writing was relatable.

this is still rough i can see, but i like the complexity. i have to say that its typical complexity (paradox i know) but how you sum it up is ...

not bad, this could be a song that a praise and worship band would like. this reminds me of the Psalms, personally im not so much into alot of the ...

thats the word i was looking for. thanks :-)

oh i didnt think about not being able to see him scratch his head, i can easily rephrase that. and thanks for the squadren info, i was wondering how to ...

ok first of all go back and check for tense mistakes, you have a few. ok i wrote this rly long review where i copied and pasted ur story onto ...

thanks erika :-) ok yea ill think about taking the joke out, i already thought it might b out of place. yea i was there for the Mind and Body ...

note to self: space out the paragraphs :-) thanks for all the critique ill have up chapter two soon

sorry, got cut off midpost, where was i? [/quote]His anger now coming to the surface this is awkward. try "his anger began to boil within his veins" or something like ...

im back :-) here we go: He didn’t like being this low, but the trees were not tall enough to hide him did you mean where the trees were not ...

im not the least bit spanish, but i live in a mainly spanish speaking place. my friends helped me translate that bit that i said was coming through the radio.

i agree that rhythem is good, ill check through and see if i can get a rhythem flowing. my thanks to your gut :-)

Thank you :-) Generally I don't like to rhyme my poems, thats why I stick with freeverse.