xhalcyonx128

Hey guys, First of all, thank you for the critiques! :-) I made a small edit at the end of the piece. If you all would let me know if ...

I think thrown-together pieces are generally the most fun to write, and can be excellent if worked at enough. :-)

Don't worry! I would have assumed the same if I didn't have experience. It is hot though...unbearably sometimes. I really did enjoy the bit that I read; I probably didn't ...

Thanks for the critiques thus far! I'm going back now and fixing the transitions, and right after that I'm going to plunge into the characterization. Even when I was writing ...

I noticed you had a problem with forming conversations, gramatically speaking. "When a character speaks to another, they have to speak in a certain manner," says the professor, "They must ...

ahhhhh noo!!!!!! i'm having extreme difficulties attaching this file, so i'll post it on here...but that means i'll have to go through and do the crossouts and italics again....oh well ...

Thank you enormously to all critiquers :-) I've done some edits, so critiques on the edited version would be helpful.

Wow, I'm pleasantly surprised by the amount of comment this has gotten in the short amount of time. Thanks to everyone who commented. I'll look at your suggestions and get ...

Thank you very much for the comments. I took the advice and added more detail, more showing and less telling. I decided to keep the last two lines, but I'm ...

Well it looks like I have a ton of ambiguity here; I'll try and fix that. Thanks for the comments. I'll pm you guys to fill you in on the ...

For one of your first posts, I have to say this is very good. The imagry works, and I didn't even notice the rhymes (the best style is the one ...

It made my stomache churn (the actions, not the writing), which is a sign that it's good. When the writing makes my stomache churn, well then there is a problem.

Oh, and imagry! Imagry is key!

I'm really glad that the twist was noticable. DoctorClicky: i thought of calling him a sociopath, but I'm not entirely sure which on the two words would work best. A ...

Please go back and check for grammer mistakes, such as captitalization. Even poetry (if this is poetry being unique with its versing) uses a degree of grammer. This sounds like ...