writewannabe

Who cares if it is too similar to Twilight. I didn't read the books or see the movie, so I don't know. I did start reading this, but am strapped ...

Very well written and can't wait until the next chapter. It is an interesting twist of how you portray Satan "Dreico" and God as bein best friends. It is like ...

This is very well-written and I am going to read more of the story. The only thing I found "The man didn’t hesitate. He wrenched himself loose of her, scooped ...

This is very good. I can see with each chapter, your are adding more to your character's personality. I did notice several spelling mistakes, but as you already said, you ...

Well, I for one liked this. Just by your dialogue I was able to follow what was happening in the story. I did have to read it two times though ...

This is short and sweet. For a prologue, you do not have to have a lot in it, maybe a couple of paragraphs. What you have is excellent. I do ...

It is a strange and different story. Even though I am a little confused by it, I also think it is excellent. From what I get of it, this is ...

First of all your description is excellent. I can visualize the setting of your story. I see potential in what you have written and suggest that you continue on with ...

I like the poem at the beginning of chapter one. It was beautiful. It is an excellent idea to start out a story, especially a fantasy one. While the first ...

This is just as good as the first chapter. I can feel the pain she went through when the man removed her eyeball. Ouch! Your style of description is excellent, ...

This is very good. I didn't notice any typos. Another person caught that you used the wrong to. But that is very easy to do, even if you have a ...

I am sure your original poem was fine. This is very well-written. You are able to write a poem and tell a story with it. There are no forced verses ...

Wow you are right it is a confusing story. But here is a way to make it not so confusing. Take all the sentences and write a story around each ...

Okay I have never read the Twilight books or seen th movies so I can't compare this story to the series. As long as you do not take directly from ...

Even though the line structure is not consistent for the poem, for example one line will have way more words than another line, it flows very nicely from start to ...