Hey! Forever here with a review!!
This was a cool story. I really liked the world-building and the creepiness in it. However, I didn't understand a few things. Let's get into it now!
First and foremost, why did you choose the football ground for calling the spirits of people? Very frankly, I have no idea on this particular aspect of the story. It seems to be a real weird place for calling spirits. I don't know if you wanted to show the ignorance of people, but if you did, I would suggest to make him do it in another crowded place and not here. Perhaps, classroom if you want to keep the school vibe.
I really liked the concepts of those secret bottles. They greatly added to the story and the feeling the story sets out to me. It does have a bit of creepiness in it but I think that was not very brought out. Like you see, you pretty much made everyone oblivious to whatever the MC was doing but I think that there could be something else. Like they were not finding the MC? They were in a state of strangeness, perhaps. It would just help a bit with the story.
Next we have the poem in the very beginning which I totally forgot to talk about. It is a beautiful way to start a story. I don't really know what to make of it but yes, it gives me a feeling of struggle and a distance between the narrator and the person the narrator is addressing. Again I have no idea if it is in any way connected to the story but I feel like it. Maybe the distance can be seen as the distance between the two worlds. Doesn't seem to be an unnatural thing.
And finally Hana Medison. Totally clueless, yet again. Hm... Again if we see the poem, we are allowed to see the narartor is the MC and the person addressed here is Medison. I wonder if there is any relation between the narrator and Hana Medison. Perhaps there is. The thought makes me feel a bit creepy. Overall, a good beginning!
Keep Writing!!
~Forever
Points: 49988
Reviews: 701
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