writeholic

great poem.. I did get the metaphor. I loved it all the way through except the very last line. disappear doesn't seem strong enough, and it also breaks your rhythm. ...

I really love your poem. Great idea, and great sentences. BUT- I don't know if its just me, but it really throws me off that there's absolutely no punctuation. IE: ...

LEAVE YOUR POEM HOW IT IS!!! Sorry, everyone that posted above me, but sometimes poetry is absolutely incredible in its rough form, like this. Just fix holly (thats like stuff ...

Very interesting idea.... I wouldn't be so quick to crush your own ideas, if you don't believe in what your writing after you write it, why write it? Besides, ever ...

*won't state the spelling and punctuation mistakes already listed* Loved your idea for this poem, however, take another look at it and revise it, make it more poetic, and try ...

I really like your strong imagery and picture that you draw- however, I would take out the items in the ( ) it distracts from the overall picture. And I ...

Puts me in mind of drowning a little bit- I'm kinda confused about the message but I love your sense of imagery and the strong emotion that emerges from it. ...

I really like the use of your emotion-- hope you really didn't punch a hole in your wall!! My only suggestion is to not try so hard at rhyming. Another ...

Very sad and dreary but in a good way. I got the impression of suicide- hope that was what you were trying to imply. My only suggestion would be to ...

Great poem... I love people to comment on what my own poems make me think of, the part where he died for me, he loves me, etc. I happen to ...

ohh goodness I can't agree more. I have a guy friend that did that to his best friend, she was dating this way cool guy, and then he just pops ...

I actually really like it, but to keep your four line stanza you need to have it written like this It’s quarter past three and the book is shut I ...

That was excellent. I've written poems that rhyme all the way through that long, and its sooo hard not to break the rythem and the rhyme scheme. I love the ...