wonderland

A thousand words floating vicariously through the air Watch the men and women gather Is this for an escape? A haven to play A mig-shift heaven to lay A thousand ...

Alright, so, this has potential to be a good piece, but right now all I see is too much detail, not enough description and emotion. As I reader, I want ...

Alright, so, this is a really strong, really lovely poem. It shows that not everything is what is seems and It could be just that-an illusion. The short simplicity of ...

Who is that who wears the red mask to hide her face? Why would she hide a face? Her hair is long , blond her body slim and meek. The ...

Alright, so, this made me shiver. The imagery is nice, and I could really feel it, and whats going on. Dancing round a faerie ring were many strange and beautiful ...

Alright, so, your first line. I started to walk toward the bathroom. Right, so, thats your first line. As someone who didn't read our first chapter, that wasn't very thrilling. ...

Alright, so, this seems totally and completely random. I think it's meant to be funny, but I didn't get it. It's because you just threw everything at the reader, with ...

Alright, so, slow down. Yes, i do realize this is NaNo, but slow down and describe. this was mostly 'Do-this-do-that' and very bland in description. Add detail and show the ...

Alright, so, truthfully, I only skimmed this. This is because I find your whole set up just totally unbelievable and fake. I know you're writing from the year 1191, but ...

Alright so, this review is gonna seem like I didn't like your piece. That's not true. I enjoyed it. So, I felt like this was just lacking a little bit, ...

Alright, so, I'm gonna tackle one thing in this review, and it's gonna be quick. We got to the end of the street and turned left, which entered another empty ...

Alright, so, here is the thing I have two major points this this piece 1) Your description! You just gave everything to the reader, and I didn't like that. Add ...

Alright, so, although that was short, I liked it. I found you,in that short paragraph, found a good sense of character, which I enjoyed. YOu also had a very good ...

Alright, so, that was very 'do-this-do-that'. You just basically told the reader everything your characters did, which I didn't like. Add more detail then description, sort of like painting a ...

ALright, so, your first line. That night Ambriel had a dream. Right. So, as a person who hasn't read your first chapter, that doesn't tell me a whole lot. Instead, ...