whatevr

Naphthys this is part pne, if you want to know whats going on, read the others. Anyway, i shall fix them asap

Yeah, I guess, this one is better than the original..

Hey, Olli here... This is way too long for me, I get side tracked waytoo easily. So I'm sorry i wont review this, I will later thogh. Olli

Thank you for all these comments, but this isnt really a work im interested in editing ^^ Just needed a system reboot, and for that to happen i had to ...

Auteur, you out do yourself with every new peice. Splendiferous (good) olli

Ok, it's really not that hard to understand. The 'whore' is the MC. She's talking about herself and what she's become. I mean how hard s it to get that?

Epic

Beautiful. This is the first Sci-Fi I have ever read... So you've set the bar pretty high. This is graceful and poem like. I need some more thought in the ...

Hey guys, thanks for the good points you made. I promise part two will be longer. As i said i ran out of time/patients/overall enthusiasm. See ya later PEACE -OLLI

EPIC -OLLI/ twelvey

Thanks for thse!!! -OLLI

The brittle stones in the creek were moving ever so softly, as it whispered secrets, deathly ones, that only it knew. The moss above the surface was turning brown as ...

The brittle stones in the creek were moving ever so softly, as it whispered secrets--deathly ones--that only it knew. The moss above the surface was turning brown as the water ...

P.S. ifyou want to read it separately i can pm you half a chapter at a time :)

Hey guys, thenks for your advice! I love people who nit-pick so don't be shy! Umm the part where it says "Jessica never to be seen again" is on purpose. ...